Query Letter / How's This? Pt 2

I’m looking at this as a query letter to an agent regarding a book of poetry, which is what it is listed as.

The goal of a query letter is to hook an agent into reading your manuscript and consider it for publication. I feel that this letter is inadequate for that purpose for the following reasons:

All query letters should be written formaly, begining with “dear”, and ending with “sincerely”, respectively. Contact information should be added in the final draft.

The first paragraph should name the material you are presenting to the agent. In this case, a collection of poetry titled “Uniquely Yours”. It should also list an approximate word count of the overall manuscript.

The second paragraph is the hook, the representation of your work which is supposed to get the agent’s attention, and at the same time, reflect your own writing style, and the style exhibited in your manuscript. While you start out well with:

“Most of my writing focuses on the rationalizations that we have with ourselves. The realizations that come about which ultimately lead to many conversations that we have amongst ourselves daily.”

The rest quickly becomes too casual and informal. Remember that you are not writing a letter to a friend, but to a professional. Cordiality is fine, but do not act too familiar with the agent.

Never include websites on a query letter, other than your personal contact email. The angent will not look at them. The agent is only interested in the manuscript which you have sent and are appraoching them about.

Omit the problems of your personal life such as:

“Just know that i work two jobs- “cause ain’t nothin’ going on but the Rent”… lol So therefore I am limited with time and effort that i place into my literary projects- But know that I am just “a Mess in Progress”.”

The agent does not care and will surely mark this as the sign of an amateur. When  trying to sell yourself to an agent, try not to mention how disorganized you are or how little time you have to write. Also, “lol” has no place in a formal letter.

Also, triple-check spelling, capitalization, and grammar, as misuse of these is a sure-fire way to get your manuscript tossed in the trash.

You should also end your letter thanking the agent in advance for considering your manuscript.

Hope this helps. :)

• add/view comments (2)

February 10, 2007

by teddybear818

personal info reviewer stats

No. of Reviews	Overall Quality	Comment Followup
93	85.7% (21 votes)	39.1%

Age	Gender	Location	Last Login
33	M	Queens Village, NY	February 19

Thank you for the review. But I am conducting a little case study as to what marketplace is “really” out there for a person like me. Where I do not believe that I have to bow down or suck up to people that are in power, or have a powerful position that can either make or break a person.

Sorry for the rambling, but the frustration of conducting my own survey, and tests, and collecting data, as to how many responses I have gotten on things that I do not need reviewed, and I still have so many other works that have not been reviewed on urbis. Yet
Teddy

June 15, 2008

by Weaver

personal info reviewer stats

No. of Reviews	Overall Quality	Comment Followup
664	90.0% (210 votes)	28.3%

Age	Gender	Location	Last Login
36	M	Lexington, KY	November 04

Oh, yeah.  That’s the attitude to take:  ’Don’t tell me that I have to write a query letter the way everyone else does, or write using correct language, ‘cause I don’t believe what you tell me about the publication market and how it works.’

(rolls eyes)  

Urbis isn’t really the place to conduct a test, either.  It’s a review site (How many times do we have to tell people that before it starts to sink in?), and the only reason to post anything here is to get reviews on it.  You posted this item as a query letter; someone told you that it isn’t a good query letter, and gave you a very detailed explanation for why it isn’t.  Now you come back with ‘I won’t bow down to people in power’ and act as if that reviewer is having a power trip at your expense.

If you don’t want this – the thing you posted as a query – reviewed, post what you do want reviewed, and stop getting angry at people who are doing what they’re supposed to do (taking the submission at face value and reviewing it).

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This is an advertisement and reflects a bit of illiteracy. I would suggest cleaning it up and making it sound more professional. I don’t think anyone cares how you pay your bills. That should be left out (working two jobs -pay the rent, etc)