Poetry / If you mean to break my heart
If you mean to break my heart, do it quickly
Make your actions deliberate and precise
The not knowing makes me listless and sickly
When you rip the heart from my chest, be concise
I cannot stand the wondering and waiting
It leads me down the path of self-destruction
Darling, I’d wish you’d kill what we’re creating
With careful but deliberate deconstruction
If this is not your goal or within your means
Then strangle me with brutality and rage
But please don’t leave me to fits and tearful scenes
Strike the swift blow and release me from my cage
Once annihilated, I can begin to
Grip the shards and reassemble the pieces
Please make clear to me what you intend to do
I only wish you to do what most pleases
Once you have done, do not pity nor hate me
Avert your gaze and leave me to my dealing
Allow me the quiet; don’t let yourself to see
That I kill me better and with less feeling
You need to log in to urbis or create an urbis account to review this writing.
Reviews
Sort Reviews by Newest | Oldest | Highest Quality | Lowest Quality | Newest Comments |
This 72 word review has not been unlocked.
This 110 word review has not been unlocked.
This 29 word review has not been unlocked.
This 114 word review has not been unlocked.
Fantabulous! The juxtaposition of the cadence and rhyme scheme with the dark message works really well here. A few lines feel a little forced, but you’re probably aware of those few. (It’s funny how authors almost always know what most reviews are going to say before they even read them! heh)
That being said, my favorite lines from the piece are: “When you rip the heart from my chest, be concise” and, especially, “That I kill me better and with less feeling”
Nice work!
- add/view comments (0)
Showing 1 - 5 of 5
GENERAL
REVIEW QUEUE
Ratings & Rankings




Review item
Add to faves

