Romance / little things. (a list)

This was pretty good. It was really sweet more than anything, something you would actually send to them more than something you would want to publish. I noticed there were some letters of the alphabet that were missing if you were tryng to go by each and every letter. If there is a hidden meaning in the letters that are left out that is a really good idea.If not, I don’t understand the reasoning.  Keep writting, find your niche and write what you know, but write about it in a way that the reader can better understand it.

It is very cute!!
But where is A?
Let me know, I would like to know what it is.

-erica

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January 21, 2008

by PiPsucks

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A isnt the only one missing. The missing letters spell out something.

January 22, 2008

by elove0711

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oh, goes to show how much extra I read into poetry!!
haha

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I think if you took off the listing factor, it would sound more like a poem.

After you do that, you could make the last line “It’s the little things that count”

O. how you need water when you’re overwhelmed. like your emotions turn to thirst.   – LOVE THIS LINE
I see I am not the only one that does this.   I loved line V too.  Very sweet

Smile,
Princess

This cute and I could help reading it without smiling.  You’re right it is the little things that do us in.  They are also the things we miss most when our love one goes away.  Anyone who’s fallen in love can feel a connection to your list and apply it to their own lover. I think that’s why I like this because when I read it, it made me think of my husband and things he does that I often take for granted.  Nice piece.  Keep writing.

where is A)? i liked that these were by letter not number, as number insinuates ranking and you clearly could not rank them in order of importance. you really do show some of the smaller things here, and it is very nice to show that they are what can matter the most in a relationship, that it would be those you missed or those moments or things that will warm your heart when away from one another. keep writing; the emotion shines through.

This is a really good description of those little things that make love so great. I really enjoyed it. I espically like the first line ” cracking open ribcage love”

Really, really like this.  I am partial to lists, so it has that going for it.

Big question – do the missing letters mean something???  AINT …?  Is it an anagram?  hmmmm.  I am very curious to know.

Thanks for sharing -

Tiddley

This is definitely different.  I’m curious as to why you didn’t use all of the letters of the alphabet and chose specific ones.  Or why numbers were not used.  Your thoughts are nice, and you have a few that stand out as they are different, such as:

1.  cracking open ribcage love.
2.  how you need water when you’re overwhelmed. like your emotions turn to thirst.

Other than the format chosen, I really can’t offer any other suggestions, besides the use of a lot of clichés, but you are describing your feelings so in this case, I don’t see why it would matter.

I really enjoyed the uniqueness of your format.

Well, each item on your list brought a definite smile to my face.  How many of us haven’t been in some sort of relationship where these things made us yearn for the other?  But, as far as a literary work?  I’m not so sure.  Perhaps if you were try and put it in a poem?  So many of the items you wrote about would stimulate a reader in prose?  I look forward to seeing if you can do something with each of these thoughts in a literary sense.