Lyrics / Don't Bring Me Down

Very melancholy, but very serene in a way. I can’t really describe it. It’s very good. . . so much in fact, that I really don’t know what else to say! Great job.

I really like this lyric.  Very true and emotional.. I think some of the ryhmes are forced, but I think it still works, I’d be interested in hearing it sung.

Blind my sins and all my fears
consider, “Bind my sins and quell my fears” ?

no more lacks Remove the s, it works better.

Thanks for sharing this, I love lyrics written from the heart, or from an experience—they shine compared to pop “McDonalds” style music I’m hearing these days.

I enjoyed this song. It is in perfect format for a song with verse chorus and an alternate chorus attached at the end. I also liked how you made alot of similarities and compared alot of the hurt with figurative speech. I have one request though. I like how the song is in that format, but I would like to see a little more explaining of things in true terms and not so much figuratively. Such as “Im falling free through the sky” This sounds just a bit to out there if you want this to actually be a song that is made public. I dont think that todays generation will feel comfortable with that and feel that it is just a little to corny. But if you wrote this more as a poem or a personal song then I would say its ok because its what you feel and think. Other than that I loved the song. You really threw all your emotions out there and laid them out nicely. I also LOVED the ending alternate chorus. The way you answered the rest of the questions with that one ending chorus was great and thats what makes this song great. Really good job.

“i let me go,say goodbye” wow this is deep . or at least it is for me . this one says alot . this is good . i think the important question i ask is can i relate to this and i can . all to well in fact . when we write its a gate way to our souls and a window to our minds . i like it when people arent afraid to show whats in side them. rock on brother!!

Pretty good.  I’ve never critiqued a lyric before, so I’ll do my best.

It’s sad, mournful and full of yearning, could make a good country song!  

The line: “I let me go, say goodbye” seems a little awkward.  

Also, for some reason, “don’t bring me down” doesn’t seem to jive with the rest of the lyrics.  You’re pleading to be taken away from all this, but saying “don’t bring me down” implies that you’re were on a “high” (happy) at some point, when through the whole song you’re singing of your sadness…hope that makes sense..

Otherwise, it has potential.  Nice work.  I enjoyed reviewing my first song!

8 Nicely structured. When I first read this I rated it a 6; I read it again and the pattern and development really struck me on the second read. You should ask everyone to read this twice in your instructions.
I was especially impressed with the ‘You call for me; you call for me; I answer you’ transition.
I wonder if the same type transition could be used in the chorus..”don’t let me down/drown, don’t take me down, I won’t go down…’ Just suggestions, its fine as it is also.

The one line I have trouble with is ‘Blind my sins and all my fears’. How can a sin be blinded? You can hide sin, you can forgive sin, but blind? I make no sense of that.

This is very deep. When I was reading it I can just hear the melody in my head. Is this a chirstian song because it can be seen as one.

I love this.  Powerful, evocative, haunting.  The words flow.  This would good acoustic, hard rock or big band.  Amazing.

Wow. This is a really powerful piece here. You can really feel the pain coming out given the situation you were going through.

Numbing and suffering are good descriptive words. I definitely think you have something good here from one songwriter to another.