Romance / My Love, My Soul

Um… I gave this a 10 simply because I couldn’t understand it but it sounded really good in my head. I feel like this poem would take me back to school studying Shakespear. I’m not in the mood right now to study so I can’t decipher this poem. I would say, just keep it simple and write it in english for my simple mind, but this is probably better english then I speak on a day to day basis. So… being that I don’t understand the poem, and don’t want to give it another read to try to understand… how can I review it? Hmm… I guess I’ll just say this… okay, I give up, I’ll read it again…

So the first lines, I see you’re losing your love for a woman. No, so you lost a woman and the only way you can see her now is in your dreams. Why couldn’t you just say that. Who do you know walking down the streets that still uses the word “maiden?” lol… like they say, the simple minded people “In your dreams pal!”

It is beautiful…perfect!  I would only question one word choice…

“Where are thee moon, light of my soul?”
Could you choose something other than “thee”

I truly love the work, though, and only stumbled in this area.

GREAT WRITING!

The imagery is vivid and I see what you are trying to do which I think is a unique way of writing e.g. rhyming every verse and the repetition of soul in the same location. I think it’s a very good attempt but I feel it could be more effective if you added a little more rhythm … by choosing more “harmonious” end words, perhaps?

I want to start off by saying I don’t like poetry, especially not poems about love, but the way you’ve blended these words together makes me long for someone I can’t have because I don’t know who they are. Finally a poem I actually like.
“Oh, maiden fairly bless-ed, our
Two hearts do run in league
For love, I risk eternal soul
For love, here would I stay.”
This verse is the most touching of all. To have someone your willing to risk everything for, must be the greats love of all.

Seems to be very well written and flows amazingly well. it seems that ou have been at this a while and very in touch with your writing style and comfortable with it. keep up the good work

It’s sweet. The rythym is good, and the message is clear. Keep writing. I like the final stanza. It’s great for the ending. Gives you the warm fuzzy. :)

Very deep and meaningful. Good imagery. Great description. This really speaks to the reader as not many poems I have read. A real piece of poetry. When people think of poetry, this really speaks. Thank you for a good share.

hardcore writer

Very sweet! I loved the imagery, especially by using the moon’s light in the soul. Very original.

It flowed very well, and definately showed us how deeply you care for this person!

Well done!

i think i understand this one. so, a guy is waiting for his love to come and its getting late and the sun is moving and shadows is getting longer but his heart wont let him leave. this is good. i like it. i see no mistakes.

I can feel the romance in this piece. It was a very good piece and I fully enjoyed reading it. I especially liked the lines,” Oh, maiden fairly bless-ed, our Two heartsdo run in league For love, I risketernal soul For love, here I remain.” These lines showed pure love and I like that