Crime, Thrillers & Mystery / The Friday House - Chapter Two
Chapter Two
Langley, Virginia – Tuesday, October 11, 2005
At the NASA Langley Research Center, Deputy Director Margaret Crane rubbed her weary eyes. She had been reading Safety-Violation reports for the past five hours and was nowhere near finished. Glancing at the time on her computer screen, Margaret decided to stop for the evening. Her husband Mathew already admonished her for missing far too many meals with the family.
Mathew’s work schedule was as busy as hers. As a Section Chief in the Central Intelligence Agency, he always found a way to make it home for dinner. That’s what Margaret loved best about Mathew—his dedication to family. He’d often argue that his loyalties were placed in the following order: God, country, family.
Margaret, of course, knew this to be a total sham. How often had Mathew skipped an important meeting when one of his children called and said they needed him? How many times had she gone on a last minute business trip, leaving him to take care of the household alone? Margaret at times felt envious of Mathew. She longed to devote more time to her husband and children.
Margaret knew very well how she rated her responsibilities. Her career always came first and foremost. Mathew also knew this and accepted it. At least most of the time—lately, he’d been putting his foot down. Every night she had been getting home after the children were in bed and leaving before they roused in the morning. Her alibi was the piles of paperwork building on her desk. In reality, she had been bucking for the job of Director of the NASA Engineering and Safety Center. The current Director, David Sullivan, would be retiring soon. Mathew assured her she was a shoe-in, but Margaret never took anything for granted. That included a short affair with the retiring Director. With that, there were wild nights, passionate words, and solid promises made by him.
Logging off her computer, Margaret leaned back in her chair and stared at the photograph of her husband and their twins, Marsha and Marshall. A twinge of guilt swept over her. Was sleeping with David in hopes for a promotion worth the shame she felt? What drove her to do it? All of NASA’s upper echelon liked and admired her already. Like Mathew said, she was a shoe-in for the job.
Shaking the uncomfortable thoughts away, Margaret stood. Some shames have no penitence. In a few days, she would be named Director of the NESC. David would be long forgotten living somewhere in sunny Florida. Her family would never be the wiser. At least that was how she justified her action. Had it been worth it? The eyes in the family photo stared back at her threatening to renew her guilty conscience. Tearing her gaze away, she finally decided. Yes, it had been worth it.
Stepping into the hallway her attention drifted over to the dark empty room next to hers. It was David Sullivan’s. Staring, she slipped into a reverie. At 38, she would be the youngest person to hold the prestigious position of Director. Her image reflected back from the glass. The thought of dying her long blonde hair a darker color seemed an advantageous move. Men would respect a woman with dark hair. Green eyes observed the attire currently covering her body—it would need changing. A new wardrobe would be required—one that reflected the power of her new position. She smiled, delighted at the new image she foresaw and the new suit she was wearing in a future not too distant.
Margaret was out of the building. She laughed at a joke Tommy, the security guard told as she headed to the car even though she thought the joke was lame. This related back to her years of growing up in an orphanage. It was best to stay on everyone’s good side, be it laughing at bad jokes or tolerating someone’s stupidity. You never knew when you might need them. When she met Mathew thirteen years ago, she had used that very philosophy to win his heart.
Mathew left the army with an honorable discharge and high hopes for his future, after four years as an officer in the military. While serving, he was approached by a representative of the CIA and asked to join the organization. He accepted enthusiastically. It had been a decision he kept from everyone. His first undercover assignment had been overseas in China posing as a low-level clerk in the American Embassy.
Margaret was in China at the same time translating Chinese to English for the American ambassador. Each day she passed Mathew in the corridor, he would ask her to have coffee with him. Each day, she would refuse. At the time, she had her eye on the ambassador who had been recently widowed. He was on the short-list to be transferred to Washington, where upon his arrival he would receive a high-level position.
Despite her constant refusals, Mathew persisted. Finally, to end his steady onslaught of queries, she relented. A decision she never regretted. Two months later after making passionate love, Mathew broke protocol and told her he was working for the CIA. The months of lying about who he really was would have infuriated any other woman, but Margaret seemed pleased by the information. A year later they were married. Mathew used his influence to secure her a job with NASA and they had both been on the fast track in life as well as in their jobs.
Margaret slid behind the wheel of the red Lexus. She retrieved the cell phone from her purse and dialed home. Marshall picked up on the first ring. Mathew’s voice, somewhat distant from the receiver, was in the background telling their son to bring him the phone. Margaret smiled hearing her husband’s voice. “Hello.”
“Hey, honey. It’s me. Letting you know, I’m on the way home,” she paused, adding, “As promised.”
“This must be the cold day in hell,” he joked.
“Don’t be silly. I’ll be home soon. Love you, hon.”
“Love you, too.”
Cutting the connection, she dropped the phone back into her purse. Her stomach growled. She hadn’t had anything but energy bars and Gatorade the entire day, opting to do her regular workouts during lunch rather than eat. She did not regret the decision, she had the body of an Olympic runner as a reward. Her stomach growled again as she started the car. At home, Mathew would have dinner ready. She would, of course, reward him for his valiant effort after the kids were asleep.
The engine purred as she raced off the NASA facility grounds. Turning on the CD player, Margaret listened to Toby Keith’s, Honkytonk University. A minute into the song, she sang off-key along with Toby Keith.
“…A stay can’t burn forever
And the brightest ones will someday lose their shine
But the glass won’t ever be
Half empty in my optimistic mind…”
As she neared the freeway, a dark pick-up was moving fast in her rearview mirror. The truck nearly hit her as it veered into the next lane. She blew her horn as the vehicle shot past her.
The truck swerved into her lane just ahead of her and began slowing. Margaret cursed. She was so fixated on the driver ahead of her; she did not notice the second similar colored truck closing in on her rear. The pickup in front of her slammed on its brakes. Reacting quickly, she tried to steer the Lexus away in another direction. The truck behind her slammed into the Lexus bumper, forcing her car back toward the first pickup.
She heard herself screaming as the car crashed into the bumper of the stopped pickup. The airbags deployed as her head lurched forward. The Lexus engine shut off. Heart racing, she did not panic. Pushing her way past the airbag, she opened the car door. Two men stood on opposite sides of the car. Their gazes ominous. They started to approach. Kicking off her high-heel shoes, Margaret sprinted in the direction of nearby traffic.
One of the men said, “Get the subject.”
The subject?
Not having time to think about its meaning, she focused on making it to some place safe. One of the men gave chase but could not keep up. Hope began to emerge. A sudden sharp sting pinched the nape of her neck. Becoming lightheaded, her legs began to swagger.
Did I hit my head?
No memory of striking her head against anything but the airbag came to mind. The pinching sensation in her neckline grew more encompassing. Reaching back, she felt the area. She touched something protruding from her neck. She pulled it out and brought it around to look at it, confused by what she saw.
Margaret spun around falling to her knees. It was a tranquilizer dart in her hand. She finally understood. In her fog, she watched the two men approaching. They grabbed her by the arms and began carrying her back toward their trucks.
“Where…aa…are…yu…you…tak..taking…me?” Margaret was not sure if the words actually came out of her mouth. She was so weak and could barely think, let alone speak.
They placed her in the passenger seat of the second truck. She overheard the men discussing what they were going to do with her car. The man from the first truck disappeared from Margaret’s sight. The second man jumped into the driver’s seat. He ran his hand through her long blonde hair so that he could see her face. Through her haze, she saw the man staring at her shaking his head.
“What a waste.” Margaret heard him say before drifting into darkness.
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This 273 word review has not been unlocked.
I did not read chapter one, so I hope I can reveiw this well enough, I just had to because I really liked the tittle.
Can any real mother ever say that their career comes ahead of their children? I find it almost impossible to beleive.
“That included a short affair with the retiring Director” you certainly don’t do anything to endear the reader to this woman do you?
Well you have deff got me interested. It is very well written and I cannot offer too much of a critique. Good job
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March 18, 2007
Deleted User
Ok, you have my attention and will go back and read the first chapter.
Margaret is a flawed character, which in my opinion makes her a more believable character.
This chapter flows very nicely, except for the part where the car actually crashes. It loses some of it’s momentum.
“The truck behind her slammed into the Lexus bumper, forcing her car back toward the first pickup.
She heard herself screaming as the car crashed into the bumper of the stopped pickup.”
Maybe if you kept this together as one paragraph it would seem more like a continuation instead of some completely new thought.
One question about the Lexus… Did the engine shut itself off or did Margaret shut the engine off?
The chapter gives you enough background on the character that you don’t have to read the first chapter to know what is happening in this chapter (although now I want to read it).
Overall, I think you did a great job and look forward to reading the first chapter.
Good luck!
For the most part, the story seems to have a firm plot, even though there really isn’t much the reader can go on. Your piece has little to know punctual errors, though some sentences are slightly repetitive.
Still a good narrative, although not as strong as chapter 1. You are at your best when writing action. I found Margaret to be less compelling and slightly unbelievable because she is somewhat inconsistent as a character. Cynics/critics could label you as anti-feminist with notions that she was so insecure as to pursue an affair to ensure a promotion, and to “of course” reward her husband after the kids were asleep. She appears to be tortured or at least conflicted over the moral implications of her affair, but then dismissive of it.
I’d prefer her to be more consistent…a “type A” driven personality, perhaps rebuffing a clumsy advance of a retiring director…she could reflect on whether she should have, but ultimately confident that she would be promoted on her own merit. I think this would be more consistent with a career-first professional, world diplomat, youngest to ever be leader type character.
Again (as in chapter 1) I think your pacing is pretty strong, but that may be a personal preference because I like the ebb & flow of rapid current time, slowed by the reflective narrative.
You call her a ‘subject,’ i’m reserving judgment on that choice…that word promises a payoff that you’ll need to deliver in upcoming chapters, and the cynic in me is concerned that you won’t because of the ambiguity over whether margaret is dead or merely sedated.
Wow, very nice! I loved Margaret from the start, she is very real and I like that in my stories. You certainly have the suspense gene in your blood cuz I’m needing to know what is going on!!!! Please keep uploading!
This chapter did achieve the goal of peaking my curiosity. I would definitely stick with this book through at least 2 more chapters to see if it could hook me completely.
Having said this, however, this chapter was a bit tedious to get through before the action happened at the end. I don’t know if the tedium came from too much background information being thrown out or from the alliteration of the family’s names. Margaret, Matthew, Marsha and Marshall. Yikes! All those M sounds in my head while reading through began to take on the feel of a meditation chant.
Shaking the uncomfortable thoughts away, Margaret stood. Some shames have no penitence.
You did a very nice job of not going on and on about her thoughts and how weird the situation was.
The structure in this story is very strong and very worth your while to continue!
wow, fast paced, and exciting. I don’t like Margaret (adultry doesn’t sit well with me and I dont think she deserves matt), but I wanted to know what happens. An easy and exciting read- good job!
I wonder what is happening to all of them?
Your writing is clear and easy to follow. It is not over the top, but neither is it boring. Margaret is not the most likable character. So for her to be kidnapped does not gather a lot of sympathy. If it were Mathew or the kids that we know very little about I would feel sympathy for them and want to continue with the story. I do want to continue with the story I just wanted to let you know that as the story stands if she were to die I think the reader would not have a problem with it. She is cheating on her husband and she thinks more about her work then her children. Not a lot to like and not enough bad to care either way. With having her kidnap ed I don’t see her having a chance to redeem herself. You might have that all figured out in the next chapter. I do like your writing style and you have made an interesting start to your thriller.
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