Lyrics / No Time Like the Present

i’m wondering if this unusual structure is intended or was done by default on the computer. i have to admit i thoroughly enjoyed your piece. it had a steady flow and strong content. sometimes the short quick lines can take away from the flow, but i think in this case it added more emotion to the content. good job and good luck with your process

Country song yes! I’ve thought a couple of times of trying out lyrics but never seem to come up with how to go about it just right. Reading through this inspires me to try again. I feel the saddness from these lyrics but at the same time I get a feeling of being at rest with what’s happened. My only bother about it though is the line ‘My mind for words have fallen’ If I’m getting it right you’re saying basically the words are not there to be said? kinda meaning. But it’s worded a little too different I think not to make people notice and question it. But other than that I really like it.

Hmm..I like this – as it’s a nice testament to a mother’s love, but it just seems jumbled and unstructured.  Fix up the rhyme scheme, or stick to one.  Tighten up the work by shortening the longer lines.  Also, “Godly”?  If you’re waiting to go to Heaven, wouldn’t that be the Godly place, and earth be the “ungodly” place?  Just curious, as it’s a personal thing of course.  I’m sure your mother would love this.

Great lyrics. Should make a great song. Its one that reaches your heart deeply and depending on the beat, it could really be one that could get stuck in your head after hearing it. Which what I am told by some musicians is what you are wanting to do. Good Job!

Sad song, I’d like to know the tempo of this song, Cause I hear it start off steady and happy. As the song playes ( atleast in my head, Sorry) I can hear it slow down. Maybe even halt altogether. Sung solo w/o any music at all.. I don’t know, I’m not much into country ( Like some of it) But I think this would work. Thank you

2nd line: “they” would work better as “I” because your they refers to words

“My mind for the words have fallen” I don’t know what you’re trying to say here. You may want to rewrite this stanza.  Next stanza (verse) is strange in wording too, with “clouds” line.

The phrase “if that’s alright” in your chorus is very passive. If this were mine, I would let my confidence shine through more.

I see that there is an idea of heartbreak in your song, but I don’t get more than a vague idea. Your rhythm inside your lines is good, first line I might tweak because you have a p and a b next to each other (hard to sing).

There’s something, but I think it needs another look. Try reading/singing aloud and see if you can objectively extract the meaning.

It’s quite short for lyrics but one of the better ones I’ve seen here.  I like the sentiments of this one and could see it composed into a song.  Something off on this line: I see you smile in the clouds are pouring.  I love the chorus and would like to see a few more lines added to this piece.  I like the simplicity of I love you and words like “I’d weep but the tears hold back the words” and “I haven’t said much of anything”

I love how you play with the words, especially the verse where you use “mourning” instead of “morning”.

In the heart lies the soul and to lie to one is to lie to the other..I think expressions like this are better off said and not written..As for my opinion on the work itself..Your writing and layout could use improving..Your depth of feeling could have been better understood in more complete thoughts..It is a sad work and I feel for you in your coldness..momsgirl2