Poetry / Beneath Your Quills (Of Neon Blue).

I hear a lot about how the readers here don’t like comas, but I don’t
understand why.  If placed in the right place, and if the words flow
together why not? “milk chocolate ocean spread across my muscles
recoils.” this sentence needs something, or less of something. I’m not sure what.
Love your writing.

Very interesting. Further proof that poetry need not rhyme to be good. I like your use of language. Very colorful, to say the least.

i like the imagery used.
you could of almost used the second sentence…on the inside, i am always a new creation…as the first line, then continue with the piece.
my eyes, resurvive as kaleidescopes…really like this line

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January 11, 2008

by tigerlight

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you’re totally right. i will switch the first and second lines.

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Abstract, almost surrealist. I like it. It’s soothing but vivid at the same time. I like the phrase “in the flickers of your heart” It’s spicy and warm and personal, all at the same time.Its a journey, one that I would take many times.

I’m not really certain what the last stanza’s about, and I would reccomend using less commas.  Other than that, the poem really jumped out at me.  Suprised me, you might say.