Journal, Diary, & Blogging / A Morning Walk on the Beach

So apparently, the things you noticed most on this early rise, were the seabirds, and the smells, especially of food. And breakfast is the lone challenger to awakening Mother Earth.
I did not notice any grammatic errors. I think the sandpipers probe for small crustaceans which dwell in the sand, not search for what may wash up, which is what the gulls do.
The tone was upbeat and optimistic, easy to read.

A pleasent blogg. It is lovely to watch the world wake. Its nice that you notice things in detail, i sometimes feel that way too. All humans should take time to value and make use of all their senses, in the quiet peaceful moments which we all have from time to time.
Well written, i could almost taste the bacon and eggs and see the birds.

i found the sentence “most humans are wont to train their senses to truly make a distinction out of what they are experiencing” confusing, and the use of “wont” very pompous and strange. Seagulls do lots of stuff, but hovering is not one of the things they do. hoovering, perhaps, like garbage and kids’ ice creams, and anything edible they can see.
how can breakfast alone wake us up, like, be magically produced by the breakfast fairies? Breakfast in any hotel means a great deal of clatter and shouting in the kitchen. So your seaside resort must have had plenty of clattering and shouting, which you would have heard above the sound of the surf, and the piping of the oystercatchers, (or were the birds dunlins? I’m sure they wouldn’t have been sandpipers. please check bird book)
If you’re going to smell stuff at the seaside, be honest about it. what do you actually smell at the seaside, as you stand underneath a gang of hovering seagulls? (splat)
This piece could be a selective and romantic account of a place to which you have never been.
or is there really a Myrtle Beach? We live at Myrtle Cottage!
keep on writing. I hope this is what they mean when they say review something. helpful and honest and encouraging. Cheers f’now

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February 20, 2007

by Owl_Light

personal info reviewer stats

No. of Reviews	Overall Quality	Comment Followup
250	65.3% (121 votes)	38.2%

Age	Gender	Location	Last Login
59	F	United Kingdom	July 19

In Response to your Review of my “Walk on the Beach”
Body: Owl_Light, I would like to congratulate you on being the one to strip me of my “no negative comments yet virginity”.  I thought it would hurt a lot worse than it did.

Actually, there is a Myrtle Beach.  It’s located in South Carolina.  And this beach, in the off season, is not as busy, so yes…you can actually smell breakfast as it wafts out to sea from the various restaurants on the strip.  That smell is what wakes “me” up in the morning, not the clanging and banging sounds of busy restaurant kitchens.  If that wasn’t clarified in the writing, then I apologize.

And since I don’t feed the seagulls while I’m at the beach, they don’t bother me.  While they may not hover in the strictest sense of the word, it was my choice of wording to describe the fact that they were floating just a few feet above the ground, probably waiting to “hoover” (as you said).  Also, I’m not sure what you mean about smelling the seagulls.  I’ve never personally been crapped on by one, so that smell is lost on me.  If I had been (crapped on) while I was there, I’m sure I would’ve included that too.  I generally write down everything, whether I particularly enjoyed it or not.

I will take your suggestion about looking up the bird.  Thanks for that.

It seems as though maybe you felt that reading this piece was a waste of your time.  I would apologize, but that’s your opinion and you are entitled to it.
I hope you find some of my other stuff more satisfactory.  If you don’t, that’s fine too, but please only submit comments that I can use to make my work better (like the one about the birds) otherwise I’m spending my credits on words that do not help me improve.

/Patty

    

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What beautiful imagery that conjured up in my mind! The bacon and eggs I mean. Thanks to you I currently have a portion of a pig under the grill and two portions of chicken offspring in the pan. Beans willl happen too, but they don’t take very long to do so I’ll leave them for a while, with your permission of course. Very well written. Thank you.

You’ve painted a glorious picture of the morning.  

Just a few technical comments:

1.  Suggest change opening line to: “I woke before the sun and watched it rise.”

2.  There were too many short sentences.  Example: “I went for a walk afterwards, stopping occasionally to pick up seashells.  On the way, I passed a fisherman… etc.

The last paragraph was great, well done.

delightful read, thanks for sharing!