Poetry / Happy

This poem could be greatly improved my following the 1st rule of writing “show and not tell”.
Right now the poem is a monologue filled with rhetorical questions addressing a subject that does not matter to the reader/audience.
Showing the reader your situation will allow them to connect with the poem. Right now it’s a cryptic expression of a personal situation. If this was written for catharsis its fine. If this was intended for the public all of the covert personal references need to be explained to the reader for them to connect/care about the narrator.

This is simple and good, I could imagine the voice of the person telling.
The majority of this was great and orignial. A personal feeling is created well. However, You should consider revisiing a few lines that see not so original. I am refering to: “Thinking back on what once was.” “To the ends of the earth,” and “I felt everything and nothing.” These line are good but they sound like other poems, and yours is orginal so keep it that way. Also, think about this small change,
“I noticed when no one else Knew”
That you existed.” It keeps what you say and is still in your form. Think about turning the quote into your words and don’t make it a quote since you have told the entire story. Overall this is a good piece and it should be better when you think you are finished! Good LUCK!

this is a very spiritual letter to god? was a promise made and not kept? hope what makes it become spiritual,and the poem sounds like what it might be missing.hope keeps everything alive so thats all you can do ,and anyone else. is believe and hope for something better, i gave you a 8 for this poem

The resentful lover redeemed. The lines – thoughts- were presented simply and in a personal way. I would lose the line `Happy people etc’ breaks the mood. Signifies to me: unreasonable petulance. Great work – keep it up.