Poetry / Sorry

Another great review from a Very Thoughtful Person (I’ve been reading Winnie-the-Pooh so I’m Very Interested in writing Things With Capital Letters). I’ll head back to the drawing bored and ruminate on this poem a bit more.
Thank you very much.
Matthew

Thank you very much for this splendid review. What would you recommend to get this to a 10?

Regards,
Matthew

You possess the restraint I am lacking in my own writes. So bear this in mind as I may be so wrong here.  My only thought is to invert the 2 repeating lines through the poem. What you’d have is: “I meant to say sorry…About the last time I left,  Sorry that I hadn’t said…what weighed so heavily upon me….
   You’d not have two “sorry lines” meeting between each stanza throughout. So it would break this up. However, I’m uncertain as to whether this would lose something in translation.(I think it may).
   The second thought I had was if you added “about you” in the middle after “what was really on my mind.”  This would tie into and impact your last line.  
   I’m afraid to have you change it really.  Only you will know your own heartspeak.  Sarai   p.s. I am sitting here wanting to delete this comment as I am not happy with what I’ve left you. But I’ll leave this to your own discretion; and hope you find a nugget of inspiration in here.

Sarai,
Thank you for the recommendations and for giving this poem so much consideration. I look forward to reviewing your work, too, and hope that I can be as thoughtful as you.

Regards,
Matthew

Matthew, It’s come to me. In your repeated line: “Sorry that I hadn’t said”...please consider taking out the “that”.  I believe it would read stronger and more directly as “Sorry I hadn’t said”.  And it wouldn’t throw the poetic tempo off, from my read. Sarai