Clubhouse
7-14-2006
12:45 P.M.
Lose Your Shit
Lose your shit
Have you done it?
Look at those words,
To “lose the shit”,
that which is not needed,
that which is waste.
I lost my shit last week, and I let you know,
now it’s your turn to go…and lost your shit,
give it just quit,
all this time in your mind I saw you screaming,
but not to admit,
why you never lose your shit?
And you can look at me, as here I be,
free from, I believe, that shit,
exposed to you with all I admit,
and will you do the same, will you end our tired old game,
I think this is exactly who you truly be –
a woman, a mother and wife finally set free.
And it took the presence of another to get me to the place where I could not find grace except with you,
So back to you and your shit,
would you be so different from me, if there were another she?
and would you have lost your shit…made a fit…and if not why?
afraid you can’t ever have this guy, this me you love, you know,
a place too afraid to go?
So be angry if you must and be pissed too, but looking at me is just looking at you, except I lost my shit,
I declined to quit…in silence and acceptance of that which I did not want,
and mark these words and hear this voice,
I will haunt, really not me,
but you will haunt self with what may be,
and why the questions about dates, why the silenced hate,
why the call of the girl you saw? the girl you thought walking my friend with paw,
why the questions of crazy monkey sex? I saw your tone, your passive vex,
to feel is real, and these feelings those emotions, are like guides and magic potions, for they tell you all you need to know, deliver to where you need to go, all you afraid to show,
just like me,
they show you all you don’t want to see.
Don’t know if you love me? I call you out for I can see beyond your doubt,
and this I know, for once I was where you be in this ironic show.
And by the way, went back to read…
Words and poems of months passed three,
and funny to me that you failed to see one of three entitled “Lauren B (Such Beauty to Me)”,
and other two too,
don’t think you got the message intended for you,
and that that be,
that once at time I thought I could not be to you for fear of disappointing,
but do you not see?
It just be me,
and fear attached so not clearly I could see,
and ask your self the same,
Is fear the thing that you now do?
So what does it now take to the lose the shit of you?
And as to Jace and his creation of this space, and why you did not bring he until it seem me and you just friend, but always friend we be, so this make sense but not make sense to me,
Bullshit…I say,
I don’t buy this way,
you kept him from me,
as I kept me from him
Fear, Fear, Fear…
this be what you need to hear.
I can admit, now can you quit?
for I have no more room to fear,
I now soar and roar and step into and toward everything true and as I expressed,
I know that to be two, of you, of he, of me and then three.
A lot to absorb I know,
a lot to take in to this place to go,
but change and death and birth, how do you know?
If any of these things go fast or slow,
some will build and graduate steady,
but not usually me, me be a me that break and break free,
all to occur with suddenly be,
this is the me of how I be but changing to see my free,
this way quickly, in lieu of months years of misery,
I see free regardless of thee, but thee, and he and me and three I see sharp and so readily, how it be it make no sense to logic of me, that why I trust my truth it be.
And so I know that I can persist without money, without health,
and I can now know the road to go.
What will it take to finally quit…to admit…that I am it…for you and he too,
and what will you stake how much to forsake, will you make my same mistake or a different look will you take,
cause we’ve seen what it took to wake from my dream…
of disappoint…
of denial of fear…
is that what must persist for yet one more year?
The window is open,
the door swung wide,
now is your choice do you chose to hide?
can you lose your pride?
can you lose your shit?
can you let this game quit?
and step into fully your desires, your hopes and dreams,
and everything ever wanted but never seemed,
to let go the haunt,
and begin your life of realization,
a simply be,
a life of passion,
a life of one plus one plus he…
a life you’ve always wanted to be.
Here be it…will you lose your shit?
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!.Some of the words used in the lines dont make sense or wrong use of words.
E.g. now its your turn to go… and lost the shit the word should be lose.
2. Some of the grammar like use of capitals after comma’s e.g.
“I lost my shit last week… and I let you know.
now its your turn to go, the now should should be Now.
Also use of question marks in the line,
and will you do the same?, will you end our tired old game,
No and needed can start with Will you do the same, will you end our tired old game?
3. The format the structure of the poem some of the lines in it I feel are to long.
4. I liked the imagery in this line ,
to feel is real, and these feelings those emotions, are like guides and magic potions, for they tell you all you need to know, deliver to where you need to
Well, that was a pile.
This reminds me of my eldest son and his struggle to keep a poorly concieved marriage intact, despite both of their adulterous ways and no love lost either. Left to cope, the children.
Is that where this is? The picture keeps drifting in and out.
At first I was offended by “shit”. Aha, another attempt at confusing crude language with good writing. That was not the case. Instead, I lost my shit trying to follow the thought, the feelings.
Very obtuse. I think I might like it, were the images clearer to these old eyes.
No matter, it is most likely my failing and not yours.
Nice poetry, is possible feel a truth between words. I appreciate when your words make a good sounds like:”and what will you stake how much to forsake, will you make my same mistake or a different look will you take, ” Great!
Keep writing!
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