I hadn’t thought of it as a prose poem. I’ll have to look at it again with that in mind.
Journal, Diary, & Blogging / Compost
It’s been out there, in our yard, for three days now. For three days now I’ve held myself back, but tomorrow, I will go outside and eat compost.
I will make two cuts in the bag, meeting at a right angle. I will make these cuts with a filleting knife taken from the kitchen drawer. The cut flap will roll back to reveal compost. Rich, heady scented compost.
Dirt is just dirty, soil has been adulterated and mud is unattractive in consistency. Compost is clean and pure. Decomposition, rotting, the actions of legions of bacteria have made compost clean and pure, and neutral – who knows what it was before.
It will look like ground coffee that has been not entirely dried out. It will smell clean, potent, dry. I will dig out a handful and feel it trickle through my fingers. I will crush it lightly together in my fist until it compacts into a small cake. It will start to crumble right away, but I will shove it in my mouth before any more escapes.
It will be dry at first but as I chew and chew at it, grinding away tooth enamel with the stray grains of sand it holds, it will moisten and soften. I will rub the crumbs between my tongue and the top of my mouth before swallowing, greedily, needily.
Then I will go into the houes and have a drink of water. Quiet inside because I went outside to eat compost.
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DCAllen reviewed Version 1 -
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A unique subject. Your style is readable, and your description of the compost and the narrator’s desire (or compulsion) to eat it is excellent. Did you narrator lose a bet?
Why not describe the drinking of the water as clearly as you’ve described the eating of the compost?
houes (typo)
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bmcanally reviewed Version 1 -
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Okay, I confess that I don’t “get it,” but even so, your descriptions are strong and the visuals are realistic. There’s a couple misused commas in the opening sentences that stilt the reading by added unnecessary pauses.
mylethia70 reviewed Version 1 -
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i guess what i was looking for was a reason.
the story is strong and clear with scents, color and texture.
a good painting, without a reason and that bothers me somehow.
Arcaina reviewed Version 1 -
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Wow. This didn’t make sense, well it did, but why would you eat compost? Wouldn’t that make you sick? Im so confused.
Soulender reviewed Version 1 -
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An interesting prose poem, your wording and structure are quite fluent as though the words came pouring out, your use of imagery is very strong, especially when tackling the senses like taste and smelling. You almost seem to praise compost in its most decrepted state of being, and your fantasy consumption of it seems to represent the need for nutrients or growth, a personification of a plant of somekind maybe. None the less, you have a good knack for imagery…
beata reviewed Version 1 -
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That sounds very organic of you. Isn’t compost just rotten food and worms?
Nicely written. I like the fact that this will happen tomorrow (as opposed to today).
Great descriptions! I could almost taste it…
chicklitrules reviewed Version 1 -
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Hi – I never imagined I would enjoy reading about someone eating compost but this is reat. Fantasticly descriptive, I had no problems conjuring up an image of a hand slowly squeezing a compost cake togther. It reminded me of the stories you hear of pregnant women who crave odd things to eat, quite bizzare!
Deanne reviewed Version 1 -
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Well, I like that it’s in the journal/diary/blogging catagory- it’s from a pretty interesting journal, then!
It starts perfectly and ends perfectly and everything inbetween is in perfect condition. There weren’t too many descriptive phrases
possible with plain old
compost.
You still manage to give it a lot of bang for the buck. Thanks for sharing with us. Odd stuff.
BrianA reviewed Version 1 -
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Yum, yum! Do you have any idea what it will taste like? You don’t tell us. We have a fellow on TV (Peter Cundal)who waxes lyrically about compost (lovely).
This was an interesting idea for a short story, I think. You have paced the enthusiasm well – the deliberations – cutting the bag – the anticipated smell and texture etc.
You explore the nature of compost – clean, pure etc – and I wondered if you were making some metaphoric comment, but it wasn’t elaborated on.
You did a good job here of description and conveying your ideas.
The ending: I would give last sentence a new paragraph if you want to give the idea that the character has eaten it (final twist). Well done, you write well.
AnaMoi reviewed Version 1 -
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Umm, I have no idea what you were trying to accomplish here, but I literally laughed out loud when I read the second line.
You describe the act of eating compost (really?) with delightful precision.
The last line is wonderful because it only first implies that the reader isn’t the only observer of your action.
A technical note: “house” is spelled wrong in the last paragraph.
Otherwise a very a neat, concise entry. Who says compost-eating is shameful?
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