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Criticism / Cocka doodle doo MOFOS

It all takes place over and over again, and the reptilian minded/hearted want to make sure that they win.  Of course, they won’t .  But they’ll kick and scream about it every waking second until the next bit hit comes. I should’ve said ‘Big hit’ But it’s not like that, jack
It’s a very long series of battles, costing us an only irritable loss in human resource and other.
It will make the planet stupid , ugly, and weak with a false sense of security, a net of absollute delusion.  It’s sad, we have to deal with it, but we’ll survive.I’ll see to it personally.  

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Laid_Back_Lioness avatar General Stranger

March 31, 2007

Laid_Back_Lioness

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Laid_Back_Lioness reviewed Version 1 - Read 100%% of the Item

What is this.

NukeDukem avatar General Stranger

March 27, 2007

NukeDukem

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NukeDukem reviewed Version 1 - Read 100%% of the Item

I couldn’t even tell what you were taliking about. Were you talking about a game or Urbis?

easywriter57 avatar General Stranger

March 18, 2007

easywriter57

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easywriter57 reviewed Version 1 - Read 100%% of the Item

absolute (one L)
  I would relate this to politics although you probably have another agenda. You need to make yourself clear on what your subject matter is.

tee avatar General Stranger

March 17, 2007

tee

REVIEW QUALITY: 0.0%(1 vote ) personal info reviewer stats
tee reviewed Version 1 - Read 100%% of the Item

Are you talkng about the war? Your subject isn’t obvious.
You shouldn’t start a sentence with the word but. You  should just put a comma before your buts. Hit shouldn’t be in quotes with big. It should be It’s sad that we have….

Deleted User avatar

March 13, 2007

Deleted User

REVIEW QUALITY: 100.0%(1 vote )
Review of Version 1 - Read 100%% of the Item

Other than a mis-spelled word, or two… I would ask… what is “it”?  Is “it” the planet?  The reptillian? The battles? The state of mind?  This is unclear to me.  It will be more interesting once I know what it is. I love fantasy.

pjwilson avatar General Stranger

March 13, 2007

pjwilson

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pjwilson reviewed Version 1 - Read 100%% of the Item

This reads more like a movie trailer than anything else.  What was your purpose for writing this?  Was there a purpose?

SoulSide avatar General Stranger

March 04, 2007

SoulSide

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SoulSide reviewed Version 1 - Read 100%% of the Item

Not sure what this is or what it’s supposed to mean. Also not sure if you’re really wanting feedback on it since “Final Fantasy” is in your instructions. On the good side, I think you could say more that is worth listening to!

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Grapetooth avatar

Grapetooth

Age: 28
Loc: Calvert City, KY
Gen: M
Last Login: March 22
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7 Reviews 15 Comments
Version 1
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