Stage Play / A rose by any other name…….
A rose by any other name…….
A florist shop in any local shopping centre. A well dressed but nondescript woman sits behind a counter reading, healthy flora and fauna surround her. A man enters, polite, intelligent but unassuming.
Man: Er.. excuse me, I wonder if you could help me.
Woman: Certainly sir, what can I do for you?
Man: Well, I haven’t actually come to buy anything..I just
wondered if I could ask for a bit of advice.
Woman: Of course, what’s the problem?
Man: Well, a couple of months ago, I bought a beautiful
Rubber plant for my partner. We’ve watered it and
everything but the leaves keep falling off. I just
wondered why and if there’s anything we could do
about it, maybe give it some plant food or some-
thing?
Woman: Hhm. Sounds more like you’ve been over-watering
it. I sold my last one earlier, you could have compared
them..let me just see if I can find a picture of a healthy
one..(flicks thro’ her book)..nope..hhm, that’s a shame.
Well,it looks like you’ve been drowning the poor soul.
Is it a boy or a girl?
Man: Erm, sorry…
Woman : Oh, please don’t apologise. It’s refreshing to see a
man bonding with his fauna and flora for a change.
Man: Well it’s my partner really who…
Woman: (flicking thro’ her book) Of course it is Sir.Girl or boy?
Man: Errr…..Boy.
Woman: Nice. Of course, he could have been sick when you
first got him. Couple of months you say..where did
you get him from?
Man: A local supermark….
Woman: Only places today tend to overfeed plants so they look
‘good’ and they can make a quick sale, thus crippling
the poor souls, freaking them out with too much
protein, stress kills you know!
Man: I had no idea….
Woman: No one does, that’s when they come to me. Where’s
he been living? They like a bright room, not too
warm, not too cold.. and company, he may be lonely.
Man: Well, he’s in the bedroom..but we have the curtains
closed quite a lot. Maybe we should move him?
Woman: Oh you want to be careful doing that. Moving is very
stressful. What’s his name?
Man: Max..no, Otto….
Woman: Well which is it? No wonder he’s stressed if you
don’t even know his name.
Man: It’s Max…Otto’s downstairs. You mentioned
companionship?
Woman: Hhm.Loneliness, often leading to depression, anxiety
attacks…it’s no wonder he’s loosing his leaves.
Man: What can I do? What can I do?
Woman: Well, I find music often helps…the soothing gentle
strains often easing the troubled soul. My own
particular favourite and a reason why Carmen here is
doing so well, is the ‘Sounds from the Amazonian
Rainforest’ C.D, which you can buy here for only
£9.99.
Man: I see. I was….
Woman: Combined with the innovative ‘budgie therapy’…
Man: ‘Budgie therapy?
Woman: Yes, studies have shown that placing plants near a
mirror re-creates the illusion of many, comparable to
mirrors being hung near single budgies in cages,
poor Max begins to feel he is part of a larger non-
threatening family group.
Man: I’m not really sure about all this….
Woman: Well of course,if the suffering of captive,defenceless
life forms mean nothing to you….
Man: (Sigh) How much?
Woman: ‘What price freedom’ hey? A snip at only £5.99. We
also do a gentle Aloe Vera protective conditioning
spray that you massage the leaves with to protect
them from harmful rays, £7.99. and a non-toxic
organic food protein to be fed once a week, £3.99.
Man: Is this all really necessary? I mean….
Woman: May I remind you it was you who came to me for
help…but if you’d rather tell you partner you could
have saved Max but for…
Man: Okay, okay!
Woman: And as a final thought, mittens, only £4.99.
Man: Mittens…oh now, come on…
Woman: Oh, so you boast ignorant of the findings of the
Nasa space project? Now you do surprise me, an
intelligent man like yourself. You mean you haven’t
read where they recently transported various hardy a
and tropical plants into space, orbiting various
moons and found on their return all foliage intact
thanks to the mittens carefully covering their leaves?
Man: I’ll have them!
Woman: We also do a compact little rescue and maintenance
package to cover you for those little emergencies for
mere £12.99..a small price to pay for such rich
rewards… and they all fit snugly into this neat little
bag woven from organic hessian thread, plant
motive optional tho’ we find it a popular choice for
the discerning plant owner.(Woman puts all items in
a bag and hands them cheerfully to the man)That
will be £………. Cash or credit card only please.
(He takes the bag, wants to speak but words fail him
and pays as if in a trance)
Thank-you. Good bye.
(puts money in the till/swipes the card)
Man: Good-bye.
Woman: Oh and if after all that you’re still worried about
Max, pop him into the surgery and I’ll check him
over for you.
Man: Thank-you for your help.
Woman: You’re welcome.Good-bye.(man leaves, short pause
... then she smirks as she shakes her head)
Mittens!
She picks up her book, sits down and continues to
read)
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This 87 word review has not been unlocked.
This is a nice scene. Very clever. The character of the florist is well developed and quite charming in her eccentricity. But, (I know this is only a sketch) how can you develop the male character more? Why does he concede to help his plant? Is he convinced by the woman, or does he just want to escape? He seems to go along with her for no reason and then just leave. See if you can find some ways to increase the conflict. Good scene.
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I thought this was great. That is what you call good sales technique. I thought it was interesting convincing the man that he needs mittens for the plant using nasa in it. Creative, i liked it.
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March 15, 2007
Deleted User
I thought the sketch was very clever, as was the sales woman.
I am unfamiliar with the term budgie, but from the context assumed it means something along the lines of friend or buddy.
After all of that I hope Max is doing better.
I loved this! I can see this happening to a poor unsuspecting soul. You’ve made the clerk seem spacy and out there, but my only suggestion would be to put in more stage direction so the actors move how you want them to, giving a clear picture in the exchange. This could possibly add a very interesting dimension to an already funny scene.
Ha…I loved it. It’s the first stage play i read on Urbis.com but I really loved it. I like writing sketches too, though I don’t submit it on Urbis.
I will be looking foward to your sketches.
Good luck with future writings.
Its a funny little scene and she’s a bit overdone for my taste but still effective. I would have liked to see you give “the Man” a bit more gumption as he seems to be merely a foil for the shopkeepers zealous tenacity. Not that there’s anything wrong with that but I think the story could use a little more arc; I would like--and perhaps this is a personal preference--to feel more sympathy for him instead of bitterness towards her sales approach. I did like the fact that the main action had absolutely nothing do with the type of plant for which he needed help. Her deception is brilliant in that, conveniently being without comparison, she had no way to prove to him that he did in fact need all these things.
Again, still a fun scene and a quick read.
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