Not constructive. You did not get the point. Some people are interested in learing about other cultures.
Short Story / The Respectable Businessman Alcoholic
The Respectable Businessman Alcoholic
Junichiro Ichihara moved to Tokyo when he was seventeen to study business and economics at Hitotsubashi University. He grew up in a small farming community in the north of Japan in a village called Tenei-mura, in Fukushima Province. His family had been rice farmers for generations dating back to the Tokugawa shogunate. Growing up on a farm had taught him the value of a hard day’s work but he also realized that his destiny lay elsewhere. He dreamed of living in the big city Tokyo all his life as he felt that the best and the brightest that Japan had to offer lived there. He knew there were fortunes to be made there and he had been focused on chasing his fortune since he was ten years old. He was a diligent and focused student who spent most of his waking hours studying and working towards this end. Eventually, after years of work on the farm, not to mention the many late hours studying until the wee hours of the morning he was rewarded with entry into the prestigious Hitotsubashi University.
Upon completion of his education at age twenty-one he took a job in Tokyo with Koshima Corporation. He had applied at all of the major companies in Tokyo such as Sony, Mitsubishi, Toyota and so on, but did not qualify as the competition is very fierce. He was forced to take on a job as an entry-level employee with Koshima, a less prestigious company. He did not really like his job very much at first as he was never much of a people person and had to sell office furniture and talk on the phone much of the day. In the early days, it was a thankless job but at least it had security and opportunity for advancement.
Junichiro worked diligently at his position for over five years and had managed to advance to the position of Senior Sales Associate, which is quite a good position for a man of his age. He’d married one of the ladies in his office, secretary Michiko after about three years of working with the company. She was his first serious girlfriend and they married soon after meeting. Junichiro’s parents had come down from Fukushima Province for the wedding and been thoroughly impressed by the event. Michiko became pregnant within a year and was forced to leave the company, as per Japanese tradition. It has long been a taboo subject in Japan and had become a tradition of sorts that the office ladies, generally know as OL’s main reason for employment in a predominantly male office environment is to serve as a kind of talent pool for male employees to find a wife.
On this particular Thursday, Junichiro was told the staff was going to the Tsubohachi Izakaya (bar) after work, by his manager Abe-san. In Japanese culture you are expected to socialize with co-workers after work when requested. This is not considered a fun night out with the guys, this is an essential part of your job. You go out with your colleagues and bosses to your predetermined drinking spot where you eat, drink and chat. It is not an optional meeting – attendance is mandatory. It is a very important social aspect to Japanese companies with many guidelines and etiquettes that need be followed. Junichiro was seated beside his manager Abe-san and part of his social duty on this night would be to fill his bosses beer for him, whenever it got empty, also as per tradition.
Abe-san was a round man, overweight, quite short with a round red-cheeked face. His most obvious attribute was his big round eyes and almost white skin. He came from Hokkaido, in the northernmost point of Japan where the people are generally lighter skinned. At this point in the proceedings they had consumed about two, two litre bottles of Sapporo Beer and Abe-san’s face was already flushed red with drink. He was a good boss and Junichiro got on with him reasonably well. On this night, Abe-san was drinking quite heavily and Junichiro was struggling to keep pace with him. It is considered desirable to keep up to pace with your boss when drinking so he doesn’t feel like he’s over doing it and thus becoming embarrassed, what is commonly known in North America as ‘saving face’. As the meeting was winding down, Abe-sans bosses were getting ready to leave when Abe turned to Junichiro and barked in Japanese, “Ichihara-san, let’s go to the Karaoke club and sing some songs!” Junichiro really wanted to go home to his wife and baby, but he knew that he was not at liberty to do so now. This was not a question, it was an order. “Yes sir, that’s a fantastic idea, we’ll have some great time!” If your boss wants you to continue drinking, you continued drinking, it was the Japanese way.
During Junichiro’s first five years with the company he had gone to all of the Izakaya meetings that he was expected to attend but was always able to slip away fairly early. In the early days he was not very well known to management and therefore not missed when he left.Now that he had been promoted to Senior Sales Associate and was only one step away from Assistant Manager, his stock was on the rise. Suddenly, the Sales Manager and Junichiro’s direct boss, Abe-san knew who he was and had made a point to come and talk to him, praising him for jobs well done and the like. Junichiro had not planned this career path but was pleased that his career was finally on an upswing and that he was making more money. He knew he had accomplished it through hard work and was quite proud of what he had accomplished.
Junichiro followed Abe-san to a local private club, Club Asahi. This was a small bar where mostly locals would congregate after work to avoid family, get drunk with friends and sing some songs. Junichiro was not much of a drinker and had drank sufficiently less than Abe-san during the course of the night. As he walked the half kilometer to the next bar he could feel himself get increasingly drunker. About fifty metres from the entrance Junichiro had to stop. “Excuse me Abe-san, I must stop for a moment, I am feeling a bit sick,” he said bending over and placing his hands on his knees. Abe-san turned around and placed his hand on Junichiro’s shoulder, “Don’t worry son, it will pass. We will wait here for a moment.”
Abe-san pulled a pack of cigarettes from his tan trench coat’s inside pocket, “Ichihara, you don’t drink very often do you my boy?” Abe-san clumsily lit a cigarette. Junichiro admitted to his boss that he did not. As a young man he’d spent all of his time working and studying. He did not have time to play any sports and did not really have any friends growing up, nothing more than acquaintances from the school science club. He had never got caught up in teenage drinking. When he’d moved to Tokyo, he did not have much money and was sternly focused on his work and didn’t go out very much either. “Yes boss, I have never really drank very much, in fact this is the first time I have been drunk…if I’m drunk…am I drunk?” he asked his boss slurring his words. Abe-san laughed and put his arm around his young protégé, “Yes my boy, you are most certainly drunk…congratulations. Would you like a cigarette, it will help your stomach?”, he said in a loud voice that echoed through the streets. “No thank you sir, excuse me.” Abe nodded and gently pulled Junichiro back up into a standing position, luckily Junichiro did not throw up.
“Well my boy, how about that cigarette now?” Junichiro had never smoked before and had never much liked the smell of tobacco. Even though he was drunk he could see that his boss would not stop until he at least took one cigarette.
“Okay boss. I’ll have a cigarette,” he said. “That’s my boy” Abe-san said handing over the cigarette. Junichiro took one drag and held it in and to his surprise it did not make him cough or feel sick.
“How about some sake now?” Abe-san said. “It will help your stomach – much lighter than beer.” Junichiro had no choice but to agree so they stepped into Club Asahi. There were three men sitting at the bar and one man on a small stage about the size of two bar stools. Behind the bar was the female bartender, who in Japan is affectionately known as mama-san.
Junichiro sat at the bar and put his arms on top of it to prop himself up. He could feel his body swaying and his head spinning. He knew this was not a good thing. Abe-san had gone over to talk to the other three men, as he frequented this place often. The mama-san had worked in bars her whole life, she took one look at young Junichiro and knew he was drunk.
“Abe, your boy here doesn’t look too good”, the mama-san shouted over the music. “Don’t worry old woman”, Abe said. “Junichiro is my number one man, he’ll be fine, you have my word.” With that said the mama-san shrugged her shoulders and walked over to where Junichiro was still attempting to prop himself up on the bar.
“Son, would you like some green tea?” she asked motherly. “Yes please mama-san” he said. “Thank you very much.”
Junichiro finished his green tea and watched Abe-san as he caroused with his friends. Abe-san drank drink after drink and didn’t seem to be any worse off than he had been hours ago at the Tsubohachi Izakaya. Abe-san saw that Junichiro seemed to be getting his wits about him again and called him over. Junichiro managed to get up and off of his stool without falling, and he was glad of it.
“Boys, this is my number one salesman, Ichihara Junichiro-san.” The men all drunkenly exchanged business cards and formal Japanese business pleasantries. Junichiro bowed drunkenly but not too deep, as he knew that he would fall over. With that out of the way Junichiro was asked to sit down.
They talked for an hour or so about business and what line of work each other was in. Junichiro had a couple more green teas and got a little clearer headed. Junichiro found the men to be quite fascinating and felt quite honoured to be sitting at a table with such esteemed businessmen. It suddenly donned on him that he too was a businessman and that he had done quite well for himself or he wouldn’t be in this position. Junichiro suddenly felt a sense of belonging, an acceptance that he had never experienced before. None of his other co-workers were asked out with the manager. Of course he had his family, but that was different. These were men, businessmen, and in Japan the respect of men is much more important than the love of your wife. It was much harder to obtain.
One of the businessmen noticed that Junichiro was drinking green tea. “What are you drinking there young man?”, the man with the moustache asked. Junichiro did not want these hard drinking men to think him to be weak and he felt a sudden sense of embarrassment. He wanted to earn the respect of these men and he knew that drinking tea was not going to help him. “I am, just warming up the blood a little” he said. “I’m going to have a beer now though, in fact…beers all around, on me.” “Mama-san!” Abe-san bellowed “A round of Ebisu’s on my boy here!”
When the beers arrived they all clinked glasses, “Kampai!”
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awkwardvibes reviewed Version 3 -
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Protagoras reviewed Version 3 -
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aaronlomax reviewed Version 3 -
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Even though I’m not Japanese. I did enjoy your storytelling. You told the story very well and accurately. You didn’t leave me wondering about anything. I did think the OLs thing was interesting. You might want to go in to depth about that and the eating places they have now where OLs serve you food and strip at your table. good writing! the ending needs work. you need a clincher. a better resolve to your narrative. resolve it….in some way…at least.
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solarflare reviewed Version 3 -
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This story is very detailed about the japanese way of life. Since you lived over there, I’m sure it is also quite accurate as well. The whole idea with not having a choice to go drinking after work is an interesting point. I guess it shows loyalty and how much a person should enjoy their job, during and after, or something to that affect. Also how polite and important social structure is over there.
I like the way you portrayed Junichiro as very hard working. It seems most of the japanese culture is that way and you did an excellent job of showing it.
Overall a good representation of japanese culture and lifestle. Well done.
SheldonC reviewed Version 3 -
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It is clear from your writing that you are very familiar with the subject. I think that might be hurting your story a bit though. In some places, it begins to read like an essay on the traditions of Japan. Instead of saying, “is not considered a fun night out with the guys, this is an essential part of your job” show that it is considered an everyday activity. As readers, we will trust what you write. If everyone is going out, we will assume this is not an abnormal activity.
The back story about Junichiro also does not seem to add much to the story. And if it is essential information for the reader, it would read smoother if the information was incorporated throughout the story through Junichiro’s actions.
That being said, once I got past the first few paragraphs, I enjoyed the story. It has a good hook—what will he do? Will he drink to be accepted? It leads the reader along nicely. And the ending is very nice as well.
dragonlady791 reviewed Version 3 -
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I’m sorry, but this is not a story. This is more a biography, an anectdote, or a life vignette. There is no conflict and resolution, unless you count Junichiro getting drunk and then recollecting himself (which isn’t much). You spend so much time on the biography of who this guy is, that it has no oomph. You need to show, not tell. There is so much you can do with a man who is drunk, so many crazy things he can get himself into. Plus, you have established in the beginning that this is in Tokyo. You do not need to constantly berate the reader with how the culture there differs with America, especially since NONE of the characters are American and so would not be comparing themselves at all. Plus, you do not need to tell the reader that Abe-san speaks to Junichiro in Japanese. We know. You need to trust the reader to know that: 1)Things will be different because they are in Japan, not America, and 2)that if anyone speaks, it will automatically be in Japanese.
I don’t know if Urbis caused this or if it is actually formatted this way, but EVERY TIME someone new speaks, they get their own PARAGRAPH.
theinfamousyak reviewed Version 3 -
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A very interesting character study and a nice window into a culture I personally know next-to-nothing about. I think the facts about Japanese culture are essential to the story, and could be integrated a little more naturally into the narrative.
The story does seem to just sort of stop. We do see the main character reach a new understanding about himself, but the story does have a nice build-up that never really goes anywhere.
I would be very interested in reading more about this character.
SemperConstance reviewed Version 3 -
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Cute story, and a nice insight into the Japanese business culture and tradition. Very interesting that in Japan the priority is placed on business over family. That’s quite a bit different than the way it is in the states.
The only suggestion that I have is to separate your dialogue onto different lines here for readability purposes. For instance your paragraph, which reads:
“Okay boss. I’ll have a cigarette,” he said. “That’s my boy” Abe-san said handing over the cigarette. Junichiro took one drag and held it in and to his surprise it did not make him cough or feel sick. “How about some sake now?” Abe-san said. “It will help your stomach – much lighter than beer.” Junichiro had no choice but to agree so they stepped into Club Asahi. There were three men sitting at the bar and one man on a small stage about the size of two bar stools. Behind the bar was the female bartender, who in Japan is affectionately known as mama-san.
Would better be formatted to read:
“Okay boss. I’ll have a cigarette,” he said.
“That’s my boy” Abe-san said handing over the cigarette.
Junichiro took one drag and held it in and to his surprise it did not make him cough or feel sick.
“How about some sake now?” Abe-san said. “It will help your stomach – much lighter than beer.”
Junichiro had no choice but to agree so they stepped into Club Asahi. There were three men sitting at the bar and one man on a small stage about the size of two bar stools. Behind the bar was the female bartender, who in Japan is affectionately known as mama-san.
Other than that, it looks great. Nice job – I look forward to reading more of your work in the future.
SylviaOConnor reviewed Version 3 -
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A few spelling and grammatical errors, other than that I couldn’t tell you any thing else to change concidering I’ve never been to Japan, but I love manga and find the Japanese social edicate interesting. It was very enjoyable.
March 05, 2007
Deleted User
Review of Version 3 -
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Overall, I think the story is good. I don’t think it is memorable, though. It’s a bit dry, needs some more plot, needs some spicier vocabulary. Don’t get me wrong, it like it, it just needs more premise to be a “short story.”
The good parts were:
1) Impeccable vocabulary and grammar.
2) Pretty sentence structure. Complete and thorough useage, and cohesion.
3) Culturally accurate.
Keep writing, polishing, editing, you’ll have a nice piece. Good job.
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