Journal, Diary, & Blogging / Bookstore (Analysis)

Okay, I read Khakis.  Like it a lot better.  There was a coherency, a clarity there which is badly lacking here.  In their place instead I see a high dregree of bitterness, self-righteousness, egotism.  Are you better than everyone else in that bookstore?  You put yourself in the place of outsider, and therefore elevate yourself in you own mind.  You see yourself the better of everyone else there.  How do you know any one of those people are trapped in the same misery you seem to find yourself?  how do you know they aren’t looking for the same diversions, the same inspirations that you are?  

Overall, i liked this one far less than I did your piece on Khaki (I hope I haven’t confused authors on this).  This piece was rambling and seemed to have too many conflicting topics.  Missing muse, brainless mainstream, a need for haven; what’s the central theme?  Your superiority over the masses?

first of all i like the thought of word pugilists. that to me seems very novel. this was well written although very short. i wanted more. the genre lends itself to short i realize, however this left things out i found myself asking for more detail… was the person there for a job, for conversation, just to find a book? and such as that. love the emotion that shone through this though.

Given your “Notes to reviewer”, I won’t get into the grammar/spelling issues that need re-working in piece, I will just say that I think some copy editing would immediately make this more accessible to a wide readership.  Alright, so enough of that.

Now to me, a long-time bookstore afficianado, everything you’re describing makes perfect sense – I’ve seen it all before.  But I wonder if somebody who wasn’t familiar with the many joys of national frozen macchiato shoppe/bookstores would get your very clever humor. I think going into a bit more detail about the various parts of being in this kind of bookstore would help a lot. This really speaks to me- but then I’m an uber-nerd who lives in bookstores.  The only real question I have about this is whether the less nerdy would be as entertained.  Thoroughly enjoyable.

P.S. I can’t believe you didn’t mention the phantom cashiers, who are ALWAYS pestering you and asking if you need help when you’re trying to concentrate and pick out a book, but then seem to teleport to another planet when you’re ready to make a purchase!

• add/view comments (2)

June 08, 2008

by Chago

personal info reviewer stats

No. of Reviews	Overall Quality	Comment Followup
344	87.5% (56 votes)	45.2%

Age	Gender	Location	Last Login
30	M	South Bend, IN	October 08

Thanks for the review. I was thinking of making it more the the average person and not so much just for our nerdy Brothers and sisters. I decided that if they did not get this piece, then they were part of the problem. Thanks for the tip, i will add something about the cashiers for sure. I cut it out because I did not like what I wrote at first. I was more pissed at the asses in the cafe…

June 09, 2008

by firemaidenphoenix

personal info reviewer stats

No. of Reviews	Overall Quality	Comment Followup
109	86.0% (86 votes)	49.2%

Age	Gender	Location	Last Login
24	F	Waycross, GA	June 12

Hey, as sharp as you get with some things (the sizes of coffee is one of my favorite gags – seriously, do people think if you label your cup “big” in another language, that will make intelligent English speakers more apt to pay for overpriced steam milk, flavoring, and sugar (with or without coffee)?), I am dying to hear what you might have to say about the clerks! Enjoyed reading this again!!

You must login to the site or create an account in order to post a comment.

Pretty cerebral, abstract. It dosen’t flow. I like some of the writing-it has a nice spoken word feel in some places. Maybe you are trying too hard to sound a certain way?

Write on.

Ah I enjoyed the Khaki rant much more but I must say I’m a closet book freak and may have been one of the types you were eyeing at the store. I do however understand the point. My book havens have turned into coffee houses and books that I came to find I often have to order anyway. I guess my tastes are a little too sensual for Opra to take. Once again I enjoyed the read and agree with much of your sentiment.

I think this piece is a little hard to follow. It is a little wordy. I usually like extra words, I think they add feeling and detail to what is trying to be said, but in this case I think it really detracts from message you are trying to get across. I do have to say that I rather enjoyed your little bit about the coffe sizes though. I have on many occasions just wanted to grab the local barista and yell “NO I want a large coffee, sugar, no cream”..

I often wonder myself as I enter the “Famed” book stores of today, if everyone else feels like they just lost more than a few IQ points.

How can we possibly expect to retain all of our intellectual ability when one is assaulted at every turn by Tony Little , TV doctor Phil Steadman or the likes of The Decider and His Stategory?

The first paragraph or two had me thinking WTF is this guy talking about, then your brains soon spilled on the floor and I was able to keep up.

It is nice to know that there is someone else who understands the gene pool is shrinking at an ever increasing rate and it is definitely showing.

“HOW WOULD I PAY THAT BILL”

Trade your quid for quip.

I think it might help to have an “imaginary” conversation with one of the patrons. In this way your banter might yet still be salvaged, or if nothing else it may lead to a revelation of where you have left it.

Wherever you go next, make sure you stand in the doorway and let your eyes adjust to the difference in light before you move.

A Very nice and amusing read,
Thanks.

I found this journal very humorous and relatable.. especially the part about the ordering of coffee.. To me, it almost seems as though it is a modern artform, socially inconspicuous, yet far above my degree of understanding.. What ever happened to “cream and sugar, please?”
Your description of even the most mundane aspects of our society is impeccable, and quite refreshing. I, myself, cannot comprehend how Oprah became the foremost “respected literary critic.”
My only qualm with you style of writing is the tendency to jump rather abruptly from one thought to another with no bridge between the two. Perhaps this is a format problem? I know that sometimes happens when posting on here. Either way, just a reminder: be careful to clarify your transitions for the reader (upon revision of course). Do not be afraid to occasionally “spell things out” for those of us with ADD (ie: me).

A lot of people read in the bookstore, it’s just how it is. Yeah I agree though a lot of em our just capitalist slime filled with 75% of garbage obssessed with the next harry potter book.

I like the flow of consciousness. The use of words is almost poetical in places.

And I can totally relate. These days, book stores are full of absolute shite. The only refuge being the Classics section and even then, you’ve got people who think they know what they’re talking about pretending to read them!

Sorry, almost started my own rant there…

Anyway, beautiful language. A few grammatical errors and maybe the wrong word used in places, but I’m sure that’s just because it was a rant. Nothing major.