Romance / Introduction to "Like A King"
Like A King
An Alternative Romance Novel
Dedication
I thank God for the muse it let stay with me throughout every word within this book. I felt its presence and I know it was it and not me that is responsible for this collaboration of words that somehow before my eyes formed a novel. I feel blessed to be deemed the author.
To every woman who has loved a man, and created within herself a place that he could always come home to. You are the Promised Land. May you continue to flow with milk and honey.
And to every woman that has, knowingly or un, provided me with fantasies and realities that have shaped my love and romantic creativity. Your presence alone is worthy of praise.
While reading this book, I’d like you to just accept this statement as true: Words themselves are neither proper nor vulgar. They are only sounds you form with your mouth, gestures you make with your body, or letters you arrange on a page, that different societies have put different generally meaning to. It is the energy and emotion behind a word that holds it’s true meaning. I hope when you read this book, your mind is filled with a mixture of beautiful, erotic, and loving energies because those energies are behind every word you’ll see. Enjoy and be warned that this may get a little raunchy.
Prologue
High school sucked. I never got any pussy.
Not that I had never had the opportunity, because I had had plenty. I’d be alone with a girl who liked me, usually one who was a little bit more lonely than most, and I could see in her eyes how much she wanted me to touch her, kiss her, just do anything to let her know that I liked her too… but I couldn’t, because I didn’t.
I just couldn’t take advantage of them girls like that. I felt that if I couldn’t love and appreciate her the way she was meant to be loved and appreciated, then I had no right to take from her what I thought could be her most precious gift, her body.
The few girls I did like, the ones I would have taken the world from if they had offered it to me, had no interest in me. Well, actually they did but just no romantic interest.
They loved to talk to me, as a matter of fact, my phone rang off the hook with their calls. They thought I was kind, sensitive, understanding, and just the perfect listener. The best friend ever.
I would be kept up all hours of the night listening to the most guarded secrets of the most beautiful girls in school. They confided in me with their pains, joys, aspirations for the future, stories of love, rape, family crisis, first times, last times, and every time in between. No one had had more practice in listening than I. But that’s as far as I got, listening.
Whenever I put myself on the line, dared to share my feelings with the girl I liked, I was always met with the same devastating reply… “I really like you Prince, but I just don’t want to lose you as a friend.”
I hated those words, I despised those words, and eventually I began holding a secret resentment toward any girl who took the liberty to so confidently through them in my direction… though I was too nice to ever let her know.
I wondered what made them so confident to just reject me so easily and I still think that I would want to be their friend anyway. Did they think it didn’t hurt?
All their actions convinced me they obviously didn’t give a damn because the next day they’d be back to telling me about the boy they liked, or even worse, asking me to hook them up with one of my friends.
That’s what really annoyed me. The same girls who sat on the phone with me for hours complaining about how she couldn’t find a nice guy, would be the same girl going for guys just because they were cool. Even if everybody knew they were the biggest players in school.
I just so happened to be friends with every one of them. Besides the fact that I seemed to have the plug with every pretty girl in school, we also all played football together, so I was easily accepted in the crew.
On the football field, I was a beast, big, strong, and powerful, which is how I got the second part of my nickname, “Bear.”
Off the field, I was the nerd, the one in all the smart people classes, the one that came to school dressed like he was going to church, the one that was letting all the pussy pass him by, which is how I got the first part of my nickname, “Square.”
Yeah… they called me Square Bear.
It was so catchy it got to where the girls called me it too. They weren’t teasing me, they just used it affectionately because they thought it was cute. As much as everybody used it, I had to think it was true.
Shit… I was a square.
I was envious a bit. That’s why I hung out with them, because I wanted to be like them. Part of me just wanted to be a player, so I could fuck any girl I wanted for the simple reason of my dick being hard. But that wasn’t my style. As much as I tried, I just couldn’t adapt. It would have to take more than just me being horny to be able to do a girl like that.
With high school over, the whole plan was to leave that behind me. Out of all the colleges I got accepted to, I decided on U.C.L.A. As much as it disappointed their football coach, I was going on a strictly academic scholarship. After hearing it constantly from the girls I talked to, I decided to take their advice and become a psychologist.
Though I had built some good friendly relationships, I was glad to be leaving them all behind. I had it set. No one in L.A. would know me so I could start over, end the pattern of being every girl’s best friend and start being their lover.
All that was left for me was to spend my last summer in the bay before school started… but then enter the freak. I had no idea that I would meet Dominique. She turned my whole game around and made me aware of my place as a King, able to have life my way… our way.
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This is an intresting piece and I would definelty read more when it was submitted.
I’m aure many a person male or female have been in the same positon as “Sqaure bear” and will relate to him. Which will definetly help move your piece along.
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I enjoyed reading the story, it reminded me of high school. You always feel bad for the guys that are always called “the nice guys.” I actually had a friend like that a while ago, so I can relate to the story.
I did not like the ending, it surprised me out of no where. All of a sudden, he meets Dominique. Where did that come from? You need to slowly incorporate her into the story. You need some type of transition.
The prologue start ” High school sucked. I never got any pussy” is brassy and turns the reader off the story instead of wanting to read more of it.
I liked your story. I think most people can relate to your character, both male and female.
So, is this being told about modern times in school or is this something from the 60’s, 70’s or 80’s? It’s important to know what time frame we’re reading about because girls were very different forty years ago.
Throughout most of the story your main character talks about how he’s revered as this great friend to most girls. He’s good looking enough, smart, athletic and a good listener. He’s the total package. He’s a shoulder to cry on and someone to give good advice. Then you hit me over the head with a bat with, “Part of me just wanted to be a player, so I could fuck any girl I wanted for the simple reason of my dick being hard.” That seemed totally out of character. Almost offensive. I don’t mind reading offensive material, it’s just that it came out of nowhere and knocked me over. He’s like, “I’m so sweet, everybody loves me, I’m so kind… fuck… dick… hard…” Wow, where did that come from?
I would have liked to get a better description of him. Actually, I don’t think I got any description from you about him. Is he a white kid with a crooked front tooth, tall and lanky with the occassional zit that he can’t control or is he latino, 5’9” with one crazy eye, or is he a black kid with super short hair and a stocky frame? Whatever the deal is, it would be nice to picture him.
Then the end. You say “enter the freak”. Are you referring to Dominique, the girl who made you feel like a king? Maybe I misread it. After meeting her did your character decide to stay with her or is he still going to UCLA? Or does he live by UCLA so he doesn’t have to leave her? Where is this story set?
Seems I have a lot of questions. I don’t mean to pick, but without detailed descriptions it’s hard to visualize what I’ve read.
I like this, it definitely has the potential to be a Triple Crown or Urban Books publication in my opinion. From the Introduction alone I think this can go so many ways and has so many options. It’s definitely something I would read and look forward to reading the next chapterS and more of you work. Great Job. There’s not really much I would change about this.
You wrote a whole lot of details about the main character in this prologue, but it is a long narrative and doesn’t really keep my interest overall. Perhaps by starting with chapter one and skipping the prologue would work (although I have not seen chapter one). The point is that throughout the story, you can incorporate these details about the character a little at a time, that he was a nerd, called square, always dressed in Sunday clothes, that he was always the best friend, etc. Perhaps it could be brought up in dialogue with another character that he befriends along the way. These little facts don’t need to be thrown at us all at once and that way it will incorporate into our brains as the story unfolds before us. Also, you should start out with a different introduction than you used, unless you intend to use this in a publishing market that likes it. Using the word Pussy sounds derogatory. If I saw this introduction while browsing in a bookstore, I wouldn’t go any futher than the first line.
How about starting off with : “In my last summer, before I went off to U.C.L.A, I met Dominque. She was a freak who turned a nerd into a king.”
Ok, not perfect, but this would capture my interest. I would want to know why he considered her a freak. How did she transform him? Hope these little suggestions help you along while you edit your novel.
good write overall I loved it can’t say I relate to ya bro I was the opposite I went nuts and did every chik and smoked every bowl and did every pill drank evewry bottle not the best lifestyle but I regret alot yet I love the way I grew up but O well good to see the other side
This was an amusing read that I think alot of people can relate too in all walks of life. I would love to read more if/when you post any.
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