Poetry / I miss you

I miss you
feel you breathing in my ear
a step behind.

I miss you
never knew you
Only cries
Beneath that urine soaked
Bathroom sink prison

To Him you were Satan
To me only David

Remembering cowboys and Indians
Before Dad became God
stealing innocence away

He spiraled down
to madness
we were evil
you were Lucifer’s son
Did God’s will, He preached
I will always hear the screams
And smell urine
thinking of it.

I remember when you died
and I started
you screamed
He quieted you forever
In that big black suitcase
Like an unwanted piece of luggage
Smiling toward heaven
Throwing you in that Dumpster
dancing like a kid
parading through Kmart
Shouting proudly
“I killed the devil!”

I miss you!
too young
To handle the funeral
Never had the chance to cry
So I have ever since

I miss you
never knew you
I hear you breathing in my ear
One step behind
Haunting forever
Keeping your painful memory
Alive.

2000

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Reviews

June 13, 2007

Willow_Wren

No. of Reviews	Overall Quality	Comment Followup
2212	79.6% (685 votes)	28.5%

personal info reviewer stats

Age	Gender	Location	Last Login
62	F	Germantown, NY	December 01

Willow_Wren reviewed Version 1 - Read 100%% of the Item

This is so dark and sad, I was really touched. It needs tightening, a bit of editing, but I can sense and feel what you must have gone through and it’s written without anger or maudlin emotions, this is good. S1L2: Feeling you breathe…or Feel your breath… S2: what do you mean you never knew him? You just missed his breath in your ear. Needs something stronger. S4,S5: Show us how dad became God or why, you’re telling not showing. S6L2: started what? L5L6: suitcase and luggage don’t work together. I would truly work on this on for it has much potential.