Too funny, now I have to watch it. No I really didn’t get an F but I did get detention for not paying attention.
Poetry / The Essay
As I sat there thinking about the task at hand,
My mind wandered off to a foreign land.
of girls kissing guys
and stars streaming across skies.
Then I remembered that I am supposed to write
an essay, a composite of trite.
My fingers they started scratching my head
I’m trying to remember what the teacher had said.
As I read the instructions again and again;
What did I do with my only black pen?
Finally, I started writing words,
but I can’t get out of my head the twitter of birds.
More or less as I go on to say
I got an “F” on my essay.
You need to log in to urbis or create an urbis account to review this writing.
Reviews
Sort Reviews by Newest | Oldest | Highest Quality | Lowest Quality | Newest Comments |
arielspd reviewed Version 1 -
Read 100%% of the Item
Your not alone…Creative minds are at best hard to confine. We didn’t get the faq that there was a “box” to live in and really didn’t care:) I found your poem clear to read, Lots of trueth within it and humorus. Well done.
- add/view comments (0)
brahmasong reviewed Version 1 -
Read 100%% of the Item
i spent my school days staring out the window or at least inward.what little education i recieved i felt was what i gave myself!i sometimes would like to think that i was unique or at least uncommon.i think that perhaps i was but it was very egotitstical of me to actualy belive it!nonetheless as a result i missed an invaluable lesson:the ability to suffer the mundane is paramount to success!!
moorelaculous reviewed Version 1 -
Read 100%% of the Item
I get it, though I’ve never gone as far as getting an F on an essay. If you’ve ever seen the movie “Adaptation” the Charlie Kaufman character played by Nicholas Cage has a great scene where he sits down to write his screenplay but just can’t get it together. Finally he writes one line and immediately decides that’s enough and decides to reward himself with a sandwich.
broderj reviewed Version 1 -
Read 100%% of the Item
I did when i first got to a 4 year college, but luckily I got a D. I guess the twitter of birds is the confusion in your head. You have a change tenses, change [I’m] to [in trying to remember.] Nice.
diyannie reviewed Version 1 -
Read 100%% of the Item
This 338 word review has not been unlocked.
ParticoRomulus reviewed Version 1 -
Read 100%% of the Item
Leaving aside all subjective comments about style, rhyme etc. You haven’t offered readers anything to make them care about your F or your experience of procrastination. We’ve all had the experience, certainly you are not alone! If that’s as far as you want this to go, well ok then, there’s nothing to critique. No biggie.
However you offer this as poetry, an invitation into your world. I take that seriously, when I do it and when others do. So what would compel me to want to see this experience through your eyes? The way you use language, imagery, metaphor, etc. I understand you (Goal 1 = 10), I certainly have no reason to believe you’re not being yourself (Goal 2 = 10) but you need to work harder to entertain and amuse, if that’s your third goal. Ordinary subjects are fine, but ordinary language will lose your readers.
Showing 1 - 6 of 6
Review item
Add to favesCreator
Relevant Links
Item Stats
GENERAL
6 Reviews 2 Comments
Version 1
Latest Activity: 5 months ago
REVIEW QUEUE
Appeared in Queue: 0 Times
Skipped: 0 Times
Ratings & Rankings
