Poetry / Mother
Mother, my mother
Who never bounced me on her knee
Instead who pushed me to the floor
Where I lay fallen
like a dirty word you spit from your mouth
and the shame that follows when in anger you lash out.
Mother, my mother
She who never loved me
Who gave me life so unwillingly
Out of selfishness I was born
So she could crow, “see what I can do”.
Pushed me from her womb early
As if she couldn’t bear to have me there any longer.
Mother, my mother
Whose heart I heard beating from within
Drums of a distant, hostile tribe
Waiting to eat me alive.
You did not kiss my forehead,
Nor hold me close when my nightmares threatened me
No comfort, no comfort
Mother, my mother
I hold no memories of the scent of your skin
No warm vanilla sweet kisses of childhood
Or of cuddling with you under blankets still warm from sleep
Instead it is your silence
that somehow was never quiet
That haunts me
When you said “I hate you” in that voice that was never whole
Oh, how my young soul split in two then
And I tried to grow a new heart like a starfish that loses a limb
Mother, my mother
A word that should bring a smile to my face
Instead I choke on it like vomit rising in the back of my throat
You did not shelter me from the storms
Nor protect and hide me in your cloak
I stood alone, as hail bruised my heart
Like stones thrown by angry villagers
I was stoned to death inside
By your unwillingness to love, to teach me by example
As now I am called “Mother”
And I am afraid, for what memories will I evoke?
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....well, very poignant and touching and the piece almost evokes some anger in the reader when there’s no resolution to the pain …structurally..grammatically, very tight and well written..there was only one line that seemed to make the piece stumble:
“As if she couldn’t bear to have me there any longer.”
I’m not a poet, but if I take out the word “have” and replace it with “keep”, then in my humble opinion, it’s a smoother and more personal line…overall though, I thoroughly enjoyed it….thanks
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