Poetry / Honeysuckle

They bloomed too late for us, my love.
They came just as you were gone,
Moments after you vanished into your own night
And left me to mine.

They flower now all white, and pure
As everything we ever wanted.
They fill the air all around me
With that scent you so love.

But they bloomed too late,
The cold held them back just a month
And they finally flowered on Beltaine,
On your day, too late for me.

As you wander seeking their sweet blossoms,
So many shine in morning dew and sunset glory
Right here outside my window,
But I cannot bear to look.

They bloomed too late this year, my love,
But another year will come along.
You’ll be a woman then, my love,
Then the sun might rise again,
Then they might just bloom in time.

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Reviews

December 09, 2005

mymonsterischic

No. of Reviews	Overall Quality	Comment Followup
61	89.5% (18 votes)	31.2%

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Age	Gender	Location	Last Login
20	F	Fort Worth, TX	December 16

mymonsterischic reviewed Version 1 - Read 100%% of the Item

Okay, so, mostly I hate poetry. Because a lot

of poetry is just

a
thought broken up

into sad little fragments

of life.

Either that, or it’s just sweeping adolescent painful poetry about..well…pain.

But this, is great. You had my rapt attention.

I also really suck at writing poetry.

You don’t! Congratulations!

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No. of Reviews	Overall Quality	Comment Followup
9	50.0% (2 votes)	100.0%

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35			July 28

December 09, 2005

SelfishEndeavor

No. of Reviews	Overall Quality	Comment Followup
20	66.7% (9 votes)	38.5%

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25			June 01

SelfishEndeavor reviewed Version 1 - Read 100%% of the Item

I enjoy the ambiguity of this poem, it reminds me of something I would write my daughter if i could write good poetry and i had a daughter. As though you are consoling the worries of a daughter and telling her of death and life and expectations and disappointments, this poem strikes very hard in the heart at slow-motion paces. It is for this reason that it is a good poem, having its significant effect a few minutes after i have read it. Its only draw backs are the typos and the mixed emotions (which i see as other people not enjoying) which i d0 = multiple interpretations = is what makes art fun and worthwhile.

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December 09, 2005

by Agonyzer

No. of Reviews	Overall Quality	Comment Followup
9	50.0% (2 votes)	100.0%

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35			July 28

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Thanks for the excellent feedback! I appreciate your input. But… what typos do you see?

December 09, 2005

by SelfishEndeavor

No. of Reviews	Overall Quality	Comment Followup
20	66.7% (9 votes)	38.5%

Age	Gender	Location	Last Login
25			June 01

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Oh i see now, i thought the “They flower now, all white and pure” was using flower as a noun, in which case “they” would be a typo. I really should double check my statements.
To further elaborate on mixed emotion—I read this and wonder about where your empathy is at exactly, and how well you intend to express it. There may be some problems in structure as far as rythm of statements..such as the first two lines in the 3rd stanza “As you wander seeking their sweet blossoms,
So many shine in morning dew and sunset glory” fuddles the images due to the syllable usage – some would recommend reading the poem to yrself and testing it for “flowability”

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