Children's / The Wormwood Tree
“I’m hungry,” Grasshopper said. “Have been. Will be.” He took off his old top hat with one thin hand as he scratched his head. “My head, it hurts. It aches. Headaches.” He sat on the ground, leaning his malnourished frame against a pebble.
Fish was perched in the top branches of the Wormwood Tree. He nodded. “You should have listened to Ant.”
“I don’t want to hear that name!” Grasshopper lamented. “There’s an easy way out of this, I just have to find it.”
“Always taking the easy route isn’t very noble,” Fish said.
Grasshopper scoffed. “That’s easy to say, up there in your tree. Maybe you should come down here and help me find food.”
“You’d like that, wouldn’t you?”
“Very much, I would,” Grasshopper puffed vehemently on his unlit corncob pipe. “Because I know all about you, Fish.”
“Oh?” Fish fluttered to a lower branch in the Wormwood Tree, listening intently.
“Yes. I heard through very reliable sources that if one manages to catch you…” Grasshopper said, and paused. He thought for a moment as he adjusted his position against the pebble. “Well, it’s just rumor.”
Fish hopped down to a lower branch, almost the last. “Tell me! What have you heard?”
“Nevermind that. It’s only conjecture,” He grinned slightly.
“Tell me, tell me, tell me!” Down to the very lowest branch Fish leaped.
Before Fish had the opportunity to appropriate his weight on his newest perch, Grasshopper pounced up, his powerful hind legs propelling his vertical ascent. He reached out, clutching for Fish. Fish was too quick, however, and as Grasshopper’s skinny hands reached, Fish fluttered back to the top branches.
“You have a reputation, Grasshopper,” Fish said as Grasshopper landed in a frustrated huff. “I’ve heard you are untrustworthy.”
“Oh?”
“Yes! And you live up to it in spades.”
“I don’t think,” Grasshopper said snidely. “That you are using that phrase correctly.”
“I don’t think I care. I also don’t think that trying to catch me is going to solve your problems,” Fish said.
Grasshopper sighed and picked up his corn cob pipe. “I heard catching you does, in fact, solve problems.”
“Have you?”
“I have. I’ve heard. Heard things,” Grasshopper said, adjusting his top hat. “I’ve heard you are magic.”
“That’s what you’ve heard? That’s stupid!” Fish chirped. “There’s no such thing as magic, Grasshopper.”
“But I’ve heard! I’ve heard that, if caught,” Grasshopper’s voice lowered. “You’d grant a wish.”
Fish scoffed.
“Do not deny it, my friend,” Grasshopper insisted. “I’ve heard.”
“From whom?” Fish fluttered down a few branches to listen closely.
“From a source! A source! Nevermind who,” Grasshopper shouted. “I will capture you, Fish. And you will grant me my wish!”
“Your disappointment is going to be inversely proportional to your determination to catch me, Grasshopper.”
“Grasshopper laughed. “You’re scared! Don’t try to confuse me. I’m not confused! Don’t convolute! You’re being convoluted.” He began to walk away, talking over his chitin shoulder. “I’ll get my wish yet…”
+
Later in the afternoon, Grasshopper met Rabbit in the briar patch. Rabbit sat idyllicly munching a carrot.
“Hello, my friend!” Grasshopper said gaily, tipping forward his top hat.
Rabbit chewed happily, thoroughly enjoying his meal. He did not acknowledge Grasshopper as he took a step toward him.
Grasshopper crept slowly closer, smiling effervescently. “I see you are taking great pleasure in your vegetable, my mammal brother.”
Rabbit, finishing his carrot, looked up innocently at Grasshopper.
“Have you nothing to say, friend?” Grasshopper remarked, still smiling. He took another step forward.
Staring, Rabbit shrunk back a step.
“Have no fear, my friend!” Grasshopper said. “I’ve got a question for you.”
Rabbit’s ears perked up slightly. Still gazing wide eyed at Grasshopper, Rabbit relaxed a morsel.
Grasshopper sat. “A question. A simple query, really. You see, I am hungry. Have been. Will be. My question for you, my friend, is this: From where did you receive that deliciously tasty treat?”
Rabbit, unblinking, slowly nodded. “People,” he said softly.
“People? Humans?”
“Yes,” Rabbit answered.
“Why do humans kindly feed you?” Grasshopper asked, false kindness dripping from his words.
Rabbit regarded Grasshopper vainly. “They admire me!”
“Oh?”
“Yes! My soft fur, my button nose, my cute, tall ears…”
Grasshopper interrupted. “So you are quite pleased with yourself, yes? Pleased indeed.”
Rabbit glowed. “Oh, yes!”
Grasshopper, in an instant, formulated a devious idea. “You know, my good friend, I heard something about you…”
Rabbit inched closer. “What?”
“Oh my, yes, I’ve heard. Heard things,” Grasshopper said coyly.
“Please, Mr. Grasshopper, please tell me!” Rabbit gasped.
Grasshopper stopped smiling and lowered his shrill voice. “I couldn’t do that, it’s not right.”
“Oh, please! I’d do anything to know!” Rabbit squieled.
“Let me then propose to you this,” said Grasshopper.
“What, what?”
“Get me a carrot and I’ll tell you,” Grasshopper said, hardly containing his wry grin.
Rabbit jumped up spryly. “Oh, I will, Mr. Grasshopper! Wait right here!” He then hopped into the brush.
Grasshopper, content with his fleet of mind, relaxed in the grass and put over his eyes his raggedy top hat and began to dream about his pending feast.
Nodding off, Grasshopper didn’t even notice when Rabbit returned with the carrot. Rabbit crept closer to Grasshopper, saying his name in a squiek every few hops. Waking with a jump, Grasshopper startled Rabbit and he dropped the carrot.
“Is that mine?” Grasshopper asked hungrily.
“Yes, Mr. Grasshopper!” Rabbit excitedly said.
Before Rabbit had even finished speaking, however, Grasshopper had nearly already devoured the carrot. Finishing, he asked, “What was that for? I can’t remember. I forget.”
“You have to tell me what you heard about me, Mr. Grasshopper!” Rabbit said.
“Oh, yes,” Grasshopper said and paused, enjoying the suspense.
Rabbit leaned closer, hardly able to contain himself.
“I heard…” Grasshopper began, drawing out every syllable, ”...that you were an ugly rabbit, and no one likes you…”
Rabbit gasped. “That is not true!”
“It’s true, it’s true…” Grasshopper cooed.
“Who said?” Rabbit asked, exasperated.
“Said…” Grasshopper had suddenly another brilliant idea. ”...Fish…”
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