This is long past and, in reading my other posted works the revelation remains with or without the thoughtful musings of reviewers. Thank you for your time and thoughts.
Journal, Diary, & Blogging / Just a letter (III)
I’m on the train again, with no desire to do anything but speak to you, somehow, which I so often neglect when I have the opportunity, and so resort to this: my refuge in the written word. I won’t say that I miss you yet… I’m still carrying the smile you left me last night. But as the distance grows between home and I, the spider’s web, spun as fine as you so often claim to be, begins to stretch beyond its capacity. Soon I’ll realize that I won’t see you tonight… or tomorrow… or for some days after that. Then the smile will be secured by the anticipation of seeing you again. I can’t sleep even though I’m running on three hours. Have I mentioned that I have a craving for bubble gum?
I have that feeling caged in my ribs just trying to get this typed. It’s just a whisper of the jubilant screams of when I’m with you, but its still a comfort. A small comfort. It’s like thin socks on a winter day in comparison to the cool surf after crossing the summer sand. You are a comfort and a relief, while this is a meager effort to clothe some bare part of me with inadequate material. Get your mind out of the gutter. I didn’t say naked. Ok, keep your mind out of the gutter.
I deleted your messages. Only because you asked me to and I said I would. And don’t worry about my smiling or my mother. I can handle both without too much trouble… respectfully of course.
You do manage to keep a wonderful tension taut between us. I know pain is a necessary ingredient in, for lack of allowance, affection, an added spice, but it’s not the meal. Some is sprinkled throughout and if your elbow is bumped perhaps there’s a little much in spots, or if you forget to stir you may get a bad bite, but there’s still a whole lot you’re denying if you insist on forsaking the entire experience because the soup is too hot. We’ve just been seated and it seems sometimes like you’re preparing to walk out of the restaurant. We haven’t even had our order taken. I just sipped the water for crying out loud! And I think it’s a lovely spot and I do so enjoy it here in your company, even if I’m taking a restroom break, but there’s no hurry to decide what you want. I acknowledge that you may leave at any time. I’ll be here a while. You could probably leave and come back and find me drinking at the bar. I’ve now totally lost myself in this metaphor so I’ll stop, but I hope you can at least enjoy my company while you worry about what the chef is going to slip in your entrée, and appetizer, and dessert, and drink, and even lace your after dinner mint with, because I’m enjoying my time with you.
I hope that doesn’t come across horribly. I always worry about such things. But by the time it’s printed and sent it’ll be too late or edited for content so I don’t know why I bother.
I’m at the border now and thinking has begun to take effect. The smile is waning and the distance has set in. You’re not here… not in the seat beside me at least. I could say I stole away what little bit of you I could smuggle with me… but that would be kind of sappy… and people would wonder who I was talking to. And a customs officer might hear and wonder what I was talking about. I’d probably be thought of as weird… well… it’s probably too late for that. Anyhow, I’d just as soon not vocalize these thoughts unless you want me to at a later date, in your company.
I hope you don’t think I’m fickle by the changes that occurred in a few short paragraphs. In my defense they were written over long hours filled with… well they were very empty hours which lent to the composition.
I don’t even know if I’ll be able to get this to you between your expected activities. I’ll try. I hope you manage to enjoy yourself, get some sleep, eat some food, smile, live every day to the fullest, remember that I [edited for respect of the wishes of the intended reader] you; know that I’ll miss you at times and I’ll be smiling all others, and keep in mind that I’ll see you soon and you can have at me then for whatever cause you find in this, or myself, that warrants your having at me.
All pleasantries included.
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CatherineR reviewed Version 1 -
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Hmm that was interesting ( I don’t mean that in a sarcastic way BTW) I quite like your style of writing and found it good to sort of figure out what you were saying and getting at.
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MsB reviewed Version 1 -
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It is always so sad when one cannot be with the one who has our heart all the time. But remember you will always have the memories for which no-one can steal away. I am honored to have an opportunity to share this very intimate moment with you. This piece has brought back a memory I have long since forgotten. May your journey back to this person be swift. MS B
chelseabell reviewed Version 1 -
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This was a sweet letter, and I feel like it is something I would write myself. I can relate quite well to the sentiment… Keep it up, I think you write beautifully. :)
spikiki reviewed Version 1 -
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You’ve got talent. This is an incredible blog, and I don’t have any crits. I like the mood it sets, the tone, and the way you wrote this and how it came across. Good job!
Deanne reviewed Version 1 -
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I first found a humorous writer here: Get your mind out of the gutter. I didn’t say naked. Ok, keep your mind out of the gutter.(Funnier said, Oh, keep—rather than, “Ok, keep….”It would technically have to read “Ok? Keep..” Or, “Ok; keep…” But you aren’t sure they went there. “Oh” would be like, I know you, and I hope you keep…., and is more of a sigh than a bark. “OK” is often harsh (hard “K” sound), as if you have to boss them around, as if they are dense (Ok, first you need to understand something…or, I’m telling you one last time, OK? Get this through your skull, OK?)
I saw the person again here: I could say I stole away what little bit of you I could smuggle with me… but that would be kind of sappy… and people would wonder who I was talking to. And a customs officer might hear and wonder what I was talking about.
And there he or she was, making me laugh yet once more, here: remember that I [edited for respect of the wishes of the intended reader] you;
The rest makes me feel I am intruding on a personal letter that maybe the recipient can find meaning in, but I find it rather dull. I think your funny voice is your greatest asset and you should develop it. I hope I have helped; I do not wish to seem rude, but it is the humor in here that carries it.
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