Lyrics / Black Bird (lyrics version)

hi there,

very good and creative/not to mention catchy/i like the story of my life is a episode of good times/and i am anixous to taste your name,upon my lips..are my favorite lines/it looks good to me…well done,jim

This truly is poetry! SO beautiful. The refrains are amazing. I think they gain momentum and become incredibly powerful by the end.

“Episode of good times” Are you actually referencing the show “Good Times” or are you simply saying that your life is full of good times? Just curious…it wasn’t clear.

But this is great. I’d love to review more of your work.

You woul benefit greatly if you would format this properly, this way it’s hard to read, and from what I’ve read, you NEED to read/speak/sing these lyrics FAST, as they would sound best that way.
Definitely the best part is: “I am to words what Harriet Tubman was to slaves”, write more such memorable and original lines! I presume this is intended for hip hop/rap/HC?

Excelent. Really truly amazing! I like the way you keep going back to the I am a poet line and the rhymes just flow nicely to a certain beat , its a little dark and with the lines that divide the short little verse I would think its a really chilled out song.

Keep up the great work man.

well, It flowed nice but The picture wasn’t really painted for me. Your contrast of poet and rapper has a modern feel but i am a little lost with the whole behind Bproof glass. Untouchable I suppose? I am recieving two messages here, one where your talking about yourself and the other is like thrid person pen. you and the pen are one huh?I don’t know let me in on it would YA

I enjoyed your words but it was hard to hear the music from this cause it didn’t flow as well as it could have. I would sing thins through a few times and you’ll see what I mean.

This is really striking – it has great flow, great rhythm and your repetition works well.  Your ideas tie together, they come across with vigour and a sense of conviction.  I can see this being performed.  Really liked it (though I think you won me with the allow me to introduce myself – v. Rolling Stones).

“You see,
words are free spirits
that you can’t take back
that you can’t return
once they are
free.” This line is very well written

Very nice! I would be thrilled to hear this set to music.  The cadence and structure of the verses is wonderful and would really make a dynamic song.

“I am a poet
a champion of the
human lexicon”

I find this part to be especially effective in describing the ambition of the modern poet.  

i like this poem because it has some really good concepts.  i particularly like the parts- mashing these words to paper, words are free spirits that you can’t take back nor return once they are set free (though i would make the suggestion that the ‘free’ part is all ready given when you say free spirits), you are to me like a word unspoken, to taste your name upon my lips.  you kind of lose the rythm in the middle, though you fall back into it at the end.  and the one thing that really threw me off was the whole black bird thing, wasn’t really sure what that had to do with the whole scenario (unless it is the mental image you have of yourself- if so you might consider stating this at some point).  over all, i think that with a few tweaks this very original poem, with great imagery, will go far!