Criticism / Ignorant Teens

It isn’t only teens who are so ignorant.  I think that it’s something they learn from their parents; ignorance, or at least the tendancy to be incurious and never want to learn, is often a learned thing, if that makes any sense.

I’m appalled at the idea of a teenager attending public school never hearing about evolution.  It doesn’t matter if they believe in it; it should still be something they’ve heard of.

There are some grammatical and punctuation errors that would need to be fixed if you want to have this piece published somewhere.  I think you make some good points in this writing, although I think you could expand a little more on the idea of people forming their own opinions (the details sort of drop off around that point) and learning both sides of an issue.

OK first of all, when present tense verb of pursuit is not pursuiting, it’s pursuing. Also disguesting is spelt ‘disgusting’.
Right, now that that’s done with… content. My evaluation of your content is fairly long, so to save credits i sent you a message.

I think that you should be commended for being aware of these issues. As you have found out, awareness does not always mean acceptance. People who hold strong religious beliefs may not accept gay/lesbian marriage. We do live in a free country. Those people are entitled to their opinions just as much as the pro gay/lesbian people. Personally, since I am neither gay, nor overly religious, I really have no opinion whatsoever on the subject. Indifference is also an opinion of sorts.

Your “criticism” piece is a little ambitious, as you start with gay/lesbian issues and move on to evolution vs. creationism. Also, you briefly touch on Separation of Church and State. Any one of these issues could be a very lengthy “criticism” piece in and of itself.

I think this is a very good critique of parents ignorance, I like teens who can think for themselves, to many opinions and stupid ignorant prejudices are passed down through the generations, why can’t people think for themselves.

typo’s- persuiting-persuing
Like I head- had.

I also have to say that as well as Darwins theory of evolution, religious education is also taught in most schools, like you say its up to the induvidual to decide what they want to believe in, I support evolution, but think religion does have some good points, but needs to be less discriminatory, then maybe we would’nt end up with religious wars, or exclusion.

The way you’ve written this is very pasionate and I can feel that you feel strong about the topic. However, maybe that casued you to muster up a few mistakes that you need to get rid off before publishing this piece.
You started off by talking about gay marriages and that you’re a pro person yourelf. Almost half of your piece is situated around this topic but it is not what you’re trying to get across. Your message is about teens neeeding to form their opinions not gay marriages(cos right there you showed that teens have their opinions about certain things). I know that the whole idea of writing this came about from the gay marriages  struggle, but you should really just leave it out. Start off by saying your friends didn’t know what the theory of evolution was and then write mroe and more about that point.
As for the concept of the story I agree with you on the fact that teens need to form their own opinions, yet the sad reality is that not many of them really want to. But calling them ‘ignorant’ just because they didn’t agree with you on evoltion is i think a bit harsh, as it proves that these people did have an opinion wich they held on to.

Anyway, good work with this article and if you work on it you might get it out the paper as well.

You wrote well, with feeling. Dusgusting has no e in it and I think martian has to start with a capital M. Kids start forming their own-no comma needed before “by themself”.
You will have a problem with writing if you don’t early on train yourself to use sentences that work with the minimum amount of explanation. Put the trump word last in a sentence and don’t get lost with where commas have to be—write directly and succinctly so the sentence won’t have to be entirely changed for punctution purposes.  That one almost did you in.(Many parents are too bust shoving their own opinions down their childrens throats, that their kids never have time to start forming their own, by themselves. TRY, With many parents quite  busy shoving their opinions down their childrens’ throats, many children have no time to form ones of their own by themselves.) Your last two sentences are good and your last one a real fair plea to adults whose church says something they can’t really understand but they are being asked to explain why they stand by it. It keeps all of that out of it.

This is a very good point. As far as why they don’t know, a lot of schools give the parents options such as not allowing their children to attend class on days they speak of evolution. Same goes for sex-ed. And you are right it is a big problem, children need to be well informed. You cannot make an educated decision on anything without knowing all the possibilities.

Unfortunately, it used to go the other way as well. Parents who didn’t believe in religion could take their children out of classes that discussed the Creation theory. I applaud you on taking your own path, and I applaud your parents as well for giving you that opportunity. I too support your cause on both topics. Good luck.