Poetry / Palm against palm (Analysis)
Just tell me now
How
Can it be
You are afraid to hold my hand
Where others can see
Walking side by side in the sand
Water crashing on the shore
I couldn’t ask for more
Nor would I dare
The salty air consumes my olfactory sences
I let down my defenses
Pay no mind to the consequenses
Of sharing my beauty
So tell me
How can it be
That you are afraid to hold my hand
Just a modicum of affection is all I require
Or I’d rather not be reminded of the desire
I am smitten that is for sure
The alure
Of my lonely days being a thing of the past
Is fading fast
I am becoming accustomed to hearing only the susurration of my mind
I find more peace in this
Than any outer influence I have to resist
I have so much to do I do not have the time
To trivialize a small point I have some how taken notice of
I see my self as above
All of this
I am quick to dismiss
So tell me now how can you stand
Beside me with out grasping my hand?
One red flag I kid you not
Mark one mark then two I am already through
It’s been real it’s been fun
But I have to run
I have to go
There’s too much I don’t know
I’m trying to grow
In this garden of weeds
I don’t like to have questions riddling my brain
When I should be able to ascertain
An answer
As to why this is a worthwhile contimplation
If I have your adoration
Why are you afraid to hold my hand in the day light hours
And free to do so when night slips shadows through the streets.
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Firstly, I really enjoyed this piece. It had the feeling of being in the narrator’s head and their confusion and (sometimes) pain of not being able to hold their lover’s hand during the day. It was really interesting to read, and it flowed easily off of my tongue. There were a few misspelled words like “contemplation” and I think I caught “senses”. On your question “Why are you afraid to hold my hand in the day light hours…..” You could have ended the sentence with a question mark.
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That was a good read.
I love how you got the point across without saying a word directly.
Loved it.
Intriquing question, `why are you afraid to hold my hand in the daylight hours`. Good cadence, not being aware of the answer is okay. This reader isn`t sure how to tell you to improve your poetry, but I`m sure its missing something. Sorry, thank you.
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