Poetry / you still blow my mind

in lust with you. in love with the feeling. in lust with you. in love with the feeling. in lust with you. in love with the feeling. in lust with you. in love with the feeling. in lust with you. in love with the feeling. in lust with you. in love with the feeling. in lust with you. in love with the feeling. in lust with you. in love with the feeling. in lust with you. in love with the feeling. in lust with you. in love with the feeling. in lust with you. in love with the feeling. in lust with you. in love with the feeling…

i’ve convinced myself and yet,
in a blinding flash we’ve molded into an unfamiliar composition
“in lust with you. in love with the feeling”
do i trust my intuition, hoping cloudy skies won’t be a threat?

i slowly forget myself in you, whilst sweating bullets in this game for two
the sepia memory of us, singing like an alto in unison with soprano..
..is some what upsetting
like a shot it brings back to life those days spent endlessly regretting,
regretting being crazy in love. crazy in love with you. you still blow my mind.

i hear their voices, but i’m only listening to yours
deprived of sight, i start marching towards nearby catastrophe..
you’ve made me death around the eyes, you see?
and so i’m lured by butterflies into being carried on a wing of prayer to your faulty honest heart.
i can’t conceal my ingenuous nature for always.

what do i do?

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Reviews

January 31, 2008

august_blood

No. of Reviews	Overall Quality	Comment Followup
53	100.0% (12 votes)	19.8%

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Age	Gender	Location	Last Login
36	M	United Kingdom	September 29

august_blood reviewed Version 2 - Read 100% of the Item

I did like this piece. conveys well your desperation at your helpless situation at being blinded by a confusion: what is real? what is worth keeping or throwing away? I like how you show an underlying danger too. good stuff…

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August 25, 2007

poisoned_dwarf

No. of Reviews	Overall Quality	Comment Followup
4	100.0% (2 votes)	9.1%

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Age	Gender	Location	Last Login
32	M	Rathdrum, ID	November 29

poisoned_dwarf reviewed Version 2 - Read 100%% of the Item

This piece is both somewhat heartbreaking and causes me to think nostalgic thoughts of my own relationship experiences. I think almost everyone has been in a relationship in which they thought they were in love and thinking back, months later into the affair that it maybe was only lust all along. This poem is very insightful into the human condition. The imagery conveyed in “the sepia memory of us” is one great line of many that hammers your point home. Your opening stanza reminds me of the childhood game “she loves me, she loves me not.” It’s almost obsessive compulsive. It really taps into the human mind during one of these types of tumultuous relationships. The mind goes from one feeling to the other like a tennis match: maybe I love him, maybe it was only lust, back and forth, back and forth. I love this piece and think it could easily be published.