Poetry / Life

Awesome creative flow and a distinct ability to follow a thought process
keep writing your doing an amazing job!!!

Strong and wow – this reminded me of something I wrote once, but mine was no-where near as good. I love how questioning of life you are in here, as if you’re trying to learn to accept life and learn it isn#t the fairground we were brought up believing. I notice you’re only 17 too, so it’s like I can see where you’re coming from on the questioning of life and existance.

Like we’re suddennly being exposed to harsh truths now that ew’re growing up – and none of it’s pleasant except for that we make ourselves.

Excellent. I think you captured the horrors of life really well. I felt a lot of emotion through your words and thats what I liked most about this. You could add some more explaining about the middle east etc as this piece focuses mainly on the west. Apart from that it was brilliant :-)

I’ve never been in those situations but I don’t know what the future holds for me, and neither do you. it’s truthfull and that’s what I like. When you have that deep throbbing pain inside of you and you think you can’t do anything about it, grab a pillow and scream into it as hard as you can. It will make you feel light-headed but its one of the better ways than another people use to take away pain. Be strong, write when you feel like doing anything else, because that emotion inside you is the real key to you’re talent.
More os this please

I liked the rhyming scheme and how your questions all were answered at the end of the poem. I really liked how you showed the true side of life and that the American Dream is lost…it doesnt exist anymore all there is is sex drugs and scandals!! The only thing i would work on is spelling/typos…but well done!!! :)

This is a true depiction of how cruel and brutal life can really be. In a sick and twisted way, be glad you feel pain. That means that the world has not gotten the best of you and your heart and soul have not yet become iced over by the undeniable reality around us. Keep up the great work.

I thought this was very cool and there is so much truth in this.
Everywhere we go we see this happen whether it be in newspaper on in our very own home on the 6 o’clock news.
The best form of poetry is real life because it gives it that reality to it and significance to it as well

Good stuff man keep it up!

Amy