Short Story / The Parable of the Tree

It is supposed to be an allegory for the structure of the Western world, and the cyclical nature of history. It may be simplistic but I think you will find that it is about more than the growth of a tree

I should’ve known better… for that I apologize…

i realise the scientific invalidity of the wind destroying the tree, but I intend it as metaphor for revolution or reform. Furthermore all scientific innacuracies are not borne of ignorance but of poetic license.
However I do accept your points about my sentence structure, I have never been very good at writing short sentences when I read them back it sounds too childish.
Furthermore victorian era writers often used such long sentence structure and they produced some of the legendary writers of all time (Wilde, Dickens etc.)this belief that all sentences have to be short does bother me somewhat.
Having said that I do  use too many long sentences.

Some clarification—
I tossed those examples out to demonstrate another perspective; you’re certainly free to use whatever poetic license you see fit.  I’ve done a variety of writng and I’ve realized that people subconciously attach subtle values to words.  Word selection is important, because taken overall the reader might not receive the message you intended (thus my note on pessimism vs. optimism).  I didn’t mean to imply ignorance with my mention of science, just to offer an alternative, and for you to consider if what I perceived was what you meant for me to perceive.  

As for sentence length, it’s a matter of style, to a degree.  Since you’re not paying to see this I can show how I’d break up a long sentence.

_Finally, what some branches of the tree still refer to as, an ill wind came and blew many of the top most branches away which by now had grown so far from the original trunk that they actually had no knowledge of its existence and merely thought they were an offshoot of a slightly bigger branch that was still slightly visible below and was practically identical with only slight differences to that which it had grown, believing its own branch to be the single greatest branch in the tree, in what is both their bloodline but also the document of their history, but barely ever spoken of. _

“Finally, what some branches of the tree still refer to as an “ill wind” came and blew many of the top most branches away. Those branches had grown so far from the original trunk that they actually had no knowledge of its existence.  Even though the trunk and lower branches are both their bloodline and the document of their history, they were rarely ever spoken of. The top most branches merely thought they were an offshoot of a slightly bigger branch that was barely visible below.  While practically identical, with only slight differences to that from which it had grown, each believed its own branch to be the single greatest branch in the tree.”

The last sentence on my version still contains two commas and could be considered by some to be a long sentence.  I think its fine.  All I did was break one continuous thought up with punctuation and a little reorganization.  The paragraph flows better because it makes more sense (at least to me) and the reader doesn’t have to refer back to its beginning to understand what is being said. It’s a far cry from what I think you’re afraid I meant, which would read robotically:

“They were practically identical. The branches had only slight differences to that from which it had grown. Each branch believed its own branch to be the single greatest branch in the tree.”

I hope this all clears my review up.

Thank you very much, I was not implying your points were invalid, and I would appreciate any help with sentence structure you can offer

Sentence structure will depend on what you want to say, and how you want it to be read.  A short sentence left as it’s own paragraph will emphasize the statement you make in it.

Thus the process continues ad infinitum until it starts to grow little leaves, so that the roots don’t have to do all the work collecting nourishment for its now overcrowded structure. It is not long before  the branches begin to fight each other for air and light until many of them become entangled and many of the leaves can’t remember who are they supposed to be collecting nourishment for. versus:
“Thus the process continues ad infinitum until it starts to grow little leaves, so that the roots don’t have to do all the work collecting nourishment for its now overcrowded structure. It is not long before  the branches begin to fight each other for air and light until many of them become entangled.

Many of the leaves can’t remember who are they supposed to be collecting nourishment for.”

In general construct a sentence with at most two thoughts (points or purposes).  If you are giving a descriptive image of the tree, that is one thought, though many of your words might be separated by commas:
“The old tree was tall and had a large, green crown.  The squirrels loved it.”
The description of the tree is one thought, the opinion of the squirrels another.  It flows better and establishes a more consistent pace than “The old tree was tall and had a large, green crown, and the squirrels loved it.”  I found a good idea was to read the sentence out loud.  Commas are places to pause, but not take a breath, while periods indicate inhaling.  If you have to force the last bit out, or can’t take a breath, it could probably stand to be broken up into smaller sentences.

A case where you would include two thoughts in one sentence would be to note an exception:
“The tree was old and its leaves had disappeared, but the squirrels loved it anyway.”
Adding a third thought would just jumble the sentence structure up:
“The tree was old and its leaves had disappeared, but the squirrels loved it anyway and the farmer chopped it down.”

The third thought should be it’s own sentence.

Using this, let’s look at the following sentence from your post:
Back in the original structure the original branches, from which the blown away off shoots came from, still unable to get on with themselves and constantly fighting for air and sun, decide that there is nothing to do but to grow more offshoots this time stronger and so a race begins to grow the biggest and best off shoot to collect the most water and light.

Reduce what you’re trying to say into separate thoughts.

“Back in the original structure the branches which the blown away off shoots came from”—Call them survivors of the ill wind.

“The survivors of the ill wind were still unable to get on with themselves and constantly fought for air and sun.”  (two thoughts)

“They decided that there was nothing to do but to grow more offshoots.”  (one thought)

“With the vow that this time the offshoots would be stronger, a race begins among them to grow the biggest and best off shoot.”  (two thoughts)

“They competed against each other to collect the most water and light.”  (one thought)  So the paragraph reads:

“The survivors of the ill wind were still unable to get on with themselves and constantly fought for air and sun.  They decided that there was nothing to do but to grow more offshoots.  With the vow that this time the offshoots would be stronger, a race begins among them to grow the biggest and best off shoot.  They competed against each other to collect the most water and light.”

You see that the pacing is consistent, and when read aloud doesn’t make the reader pass out from lack of air.  Consult a thesaurus to find words similar to what you want to say, and find the most efficient way of of saying it using the least possible words.  Hope this is helpful!