Poetry / an·ox·i·a : n. Absence of oxygen

The thick contaminated vapor of your world
causes anoxia-
And I lost my ability to think for myself.
Suck it in, swallow this sugary stipulation;
chocolate covered lies.
I want to overdose on emotional junk,
to be bathed in liquid feeling.
The soul that I carry inside of me
begs to be refined,
it is old, worn, sick, dying.
I’ve forgotten the path to growth
It hides beneath the commercial Bushes.
And I don’t want to breathe today.
I don’t deserve life- I am oversensitized.
Digitally dreaming of piss satiated aspirations
hollowed by the knife we call society.
Purity isn’t in my diluted vocabulary.
Hope isn’t either.
Distractions can only last so long-
turn off the faucet,
emotions swirling down the dirty drain.
And what do I have left now?
A lone, raw tower of self-denial.

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August 04, 2007

chelseabell

No. of Reviews	Overall Quality	Comment Followup
0	96.7% (30 votes)	100.0%

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22	F	Huntington, WV	December 03

chelseabell reviewed Version 1 - Read 100%% of the Item

Carri I like the words you choose in all of the stuff you’ve posted.. for me, half the beauty of poetry lies in word choice. And you definitely have that down. I like the way the imagery you portray is kinda dirty and raw, I think it’s wonderful. Anyway, your goals for writing are very noble, (to open peoples eyes about the world, etc.) and who cares if it is ambitious? We’ll never change anything if we wait for everyone else to initiate things, right? Hah, well, I really do like this. Good job :)

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No. of Reviews	Overall Quality	Comment Followup
0	91.3% (23 votes)	100.0%

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28	F	Huntington, WV	November 18

August 04, 2007

ShiriHatcher

No. of Reviews	Overall Quality	Comment Followup
115	76.8% (56 votes)	22.8%

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17	F	Brooklyn, NY	July 28

ShiriHatcher reviewed Version 1 - Read 100%% of the Item

Hmmm. Good work. But I thought most poems are suppose to rhyme at the end and have good meaning. Well you do have the good meaning part I say that. ^^ The way you describe it is almost unreal but it sounded like you was describing yourself as an emo.