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Poetry / Tales of Magic
Tales of Magic
Peter Pan and Fairy dust
Neverland, where love means trust
Of Captain Hook’s who roam the sky
And little boys who never die.
I followed Alice in the hole
Don’t be late was my first goal
Cheshire cats who disappear
Eating mushrooms without fear.
Off to see a wizard and a witch
Flying houses toss and pitch
Lions, tigers, bears oh my
Flying monkey’s in the sky.
Childhood stories in the night
Tales of magic give a fright
Flash light tents and boogie men
Watch when grown; get scared again.
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ScottBJohnson reviewed Version 1 -
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Cute poem. You don’t need apostrophes in “Hook’s” and “monkey’s” since you are using them as plural and not implying ownership of something.
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JCLewis reviewed Version 1 -
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Usually, I’m all fun and games, but not this time. It takes a fairy tale based poem to bring out the seriousness of Mr. T!
I really like your concept and I like some of the individual execution, namely the quad about Peter Pan. However, I dont think that all of the individual parts went together well to make the whole. What I mean by that is, I think that individually all the quads are solid, but when you put them together they do not work as well. It’s kinda like potato salad for me. When I eat any of the ingredients alone, I like them. Together, I cant stand it.
Maybe try fleshing this out so there is not such a division between each different tale you refer to and that way your flow wont be so broken.
Hope that helps.
p.s. This is my one serious review for the year so enjoy it!
Lin reviewed Version 1 -
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A nice deft touch. Tales of Magic in ancient times were the source of great wisdom. They explained the world & people it. They explained how & why nature behaves the way it does. Some people still believe the ancient myths in the Holy Bible & in other ancient writings now freely available in translations.
The Tales of Magic you refer to in your poem are a pastiche, the result of popular fiction that now floods the market. Gothic tales such as Harry Potter that are just designed to scare a little & to entertain. My grand daughter loves watching the dvds & we usually sit with her following the story.
It wasn’t so long ago that New Age shops that dared to sell anything to do with witchcraft were raided by police. The powers that be were afraid that people learning about such things would give them the evil eye or point their magic wand & vapourize them.
reerds reviewed Version 1 -
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Bravo! Eugene Fields, Lewis Carroll, Dr. Suess would be proud . . . Thanx for taking me back. Delightful! Right up there with the best on the site, so far.
juliarenee reviewed Version 1 -
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This is sweet. If this poem is meant to reminisce, as you say, then I think you did a fine job. If you are wanting to make it something more than a poem for the sake of rememberance, then I would try to subtly add some emotional content. It is much easier to write a nice jingly poem than it is to write a poem that makes the reader think, but is also less rewarding for both the reader and the writer. If it is just for yourself however, then it doesn’t really matter what the content is so long as it speaks to you.
kortneyrose reviewed Version 1 -
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This line didn’t flow with the rest, “Off to see a wizard and a witch” If you just put a wizard and witch, it would flow better with the rest of the piece.
This one didn’t follow the rhythm either. “Don’t be late was my first goal” You might try changing it to “To not be late was my goal” or something of that sort.
I really liked this though! It was cute, and it definitely does take you back to childhood:)
filbert reviewed Version 1 -
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The first stanza, I thought of Puff the Magic Dragon.
Second S--I never tried mushrooms-
Third S—I watched this in black and white. It scared me to death.
Fourth S—Yes, a grown-ups demise; it’s not that bad.
Writer, your title is so good.
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