Poetry / One more fix

Of all the people to try to understand and evaluate (without being one yourself), it’s interesting that you would pick a drug addict.

I won’t say that I like this, because I don’t- it’s disturbing and unpleasant. However, that is not to say this piece of writing is no good; I’m feeling what the speaker is, and that’s an accomplishment on your part.

That being said, this does need work. Right now it reads just like the speaker would sound. Just an idea: play around with the way you want the poem to sound. Also, consider making it longer and elaborating on the things the speaker doesn’t want to think about. Maybe go into how they got into their current situation. Addicts don’t have to have worn shoes, you know (just to get you thinking about other ways of approaching this). What about the ones that CAN afford their addictions? (take all the wasted celebrities you hear about nowadays)

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August 12, 2007

by moanmyname

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No. of Reviews	Overall Quality	Comment Followup
13	72.7% (11 votes)	47.4%

Age	Gender	Location	Last Login
20	F	Stone Mountain, GA	November 03

Hey thanks for your insight. I really do need to brush up don’t I?

August 12, 2007

by moanmyname

personal info reviewer stats

No. of Reviews	Overall Quality	Comment Followup
13	72.7% (11 votes)	47.4%

Age	Gender	Location	Last Login
20	F	Stone Mountain, GA	November 03

Hey thanks for your insight. I really do need to brush up don’t I?

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Interesting, for starters ‘It’s Finish(ed)’, just a small grammer mistake. I understand what the poems about but it’s so chaotic, which might be what you’re going for, but still it’s hard to follow. You’re talking about wasting your life then suddenly about some guy named Steven then back to the fix. I’d say talk a little more about the wasted years and how the fix makes you feel and not some unknown character that has little to do with the poem from the writers point of view. All in all it’s an interesting poem, keep it up.
~Nikki

Well, I believe that you succeeded in bringing a few moments in an addict’s shoes to life here but, what we’re missing are the images of the discarded family members and torn apart loved ones, the lies, deceptions and crimes that financed the addicts rush. I’d like to see a follow-up . . .