Stage Play / Sir Edwin and the Quest for Avalon Act III

Act III
At a sitting room in Normandy. Herald enters right followed by Bridgette, Tristan, etc.

Herald: The Fellowship of the King, comprising of Sir Lancelot du Loc of Camelot, Sir Tristan of Cornwall, Sir Edwin de Merieanne of Glastonbury, Sir Bridge of Paris and Brother Robert of Locksley

Robin: Nobody is in here. You don’t really have to announce us.

Herald: It’s all according to regulations, Brother. Rules and such are meant to be followed, or it’ll be my head.

Lancelot: Then we would rather be announced to an empty room.

Herald: Thank you milord. Now I understand that you wanted some sort of an audience with someone?

Tristan: Yes, may we see Mary and Sarah?

Herald: I don’t know any Mary or Sarah here.

Bridgette: Then may we have an audience with Duke William?

Herald: I am sure that he would be happy to meet the legendary Knights of the Round Table. I shall go fetch him. My wife Marguerite will bring you some tea.

Edwin: Thank you, Mister Herald guy.

Herald: You are welcome, Sir Edwin. (He exits right.)

Edwin: So, do these Mary and Sarah people know where Avalon is?

Tristan: Avalon? What’s Avalon?

Bridgette: What do you mean what’s Avalon? That’s what we have been questing for literally the entire time.

Tristan: I’ve never heard of it. I assumed that when you said you were searching for what England needed most that you were one of those Holy Grail nutters. So what is this Avalon thing?

Edwin: It’s where the nymphs took Arthur’s body before he died so they could put him under a magical spell.

Tristan: That’s bully honky if I’ve ever seen it myself. Who’d you hear that from, Merlin?

Bridgette: Yes.

Edwin: I think his name was actually Marvin.

Robin: No, it was Merlin.

Tristan: You should never trust the man. He might sound like he is an old knowledgeable man from those tricks of his, but let me tell ye, he is just a very good guesser.  Either that or he steals your stuff and talks to people to find out who you are. Merlin’s mind has been going for some time. If you want a wise old man, talk to my buddy Lancelot here, or Arthur, before, well- you know.

Lancelot: So we came all this way for nothing?

Tristan: Might as well say hi while we are here, you could see the Holy Grail.

Edwin: (pouting) I don’t care about the Holy Grail; I want to bring back Arthur! I want to bring peace to Camelot! (Marguerite enters left with tea. She pours some for everybody)

Marguerite: Greetings milords, what beings ye to Normandy?

Tristan: We wish to talk to William.

Marguerite: Yes, that’s what the herald said.

Bridgette: He said that you are his wife, why do you call him the herald?

Marguerite: Trust me; I didn’t marry that piece of scum of my own free will. Look at where I ended up: gone from eldest princess of France to maid, that’s where.

Lancelot: Why did you not send post to your father by now?

Marguerite: What can be done now? Besides, he likely never even noticed that I was gone.

Tristan: I offer my condolences, your royal highness.

Marguerite: Thank you so much. It is so nice to be called that for a change. (To Bridgette) You, my fine young man, did you know that there is a ball tonight?

Bridgette: Yes, and what does that have to do with the price of peas in Poland?

Marguerite: You know that such balls are only for fine noblemen like yourselves are allowed to come, and with them their daughter, wives and those they are escorting.

Bridgette: And?

Marguerite: A nobleman like yourself would be kind to take a poor, kidnapped princess to the ball.

Bridgette: Me? No!

Marguerite: But why not?

Bridgette: Because you… you… are married. Yes, you are married and by my nobleman’s honor I can’t take you.

Marguerite: (Crosses to Robin) What about you Brother? You should know by now that they don’t make priest holes for late-night confessionals.

Robin: (uncomfortable) No, no, can’t do that; can’t do that at all.

Marguerite: Surely one of you poor brave fellows all unaccustomed to this land would want someone to escort you and tell you where everything is.

Edwin: No, your highness, I’m sure that we will get though fine all by ourselves. (Herald enters left with William, all stands)

Herald: Duke William of Normandy (he grabs Marguerite’s hand and pulls her out left)

Lancelot: (bows) Greetings, your grace. How are you this fine day?

William: Very good, thank you. (Sits) Now what is it that you wanted to talk to me about?

Tristan: Oh, nothing, we took a wrong turn and figured we might as well say hi.

William: Sir Tristan of Cornwall, old buddy, is that you? I haven’t seen nor heard from you in ages. (He and Tristan get up and hug. Everyone else stands up)

Tristan: Yep, it’s me Willy. How’s the Duchess?

William: Same old, same old. What about Iseult? Anything happening there? (Sits down. All but Tristan sits)

Tristan: Why me and Iseult, Iseult- My fair Iseult, Queen of the heavens-

Bridgette: Let’s just not go there.

William: Oh, I see. (Tristan sits)

Edwin: Actually, we came here to talk to Margaret and Shirley.

Lancelot: Who are Margaret and Shirley?

William: I don’t know, do you?

Robin: Oh, your grace, I think that he means that we came to talk to Mary and Sarah.

William: You’re on another grail quest, Tristan, and you too Lancelot? I thought that once would be enough for you.

Tristan: You see actually, there was some confusion after what Merlin told them. I’m just along for the quest. Originally we were going after something called Avalon, I think it was. (Others nod heads) Something about that is where Arthur is sleeping until the time that Britain needs him most, or some rubbish like that.

William: So you don’t want to see- them?

Bridgette: Actually we would like to, seeing as we have come all this way.

William: If you really want to I guess. I just really hate summoning them. You know what I mean, don’t you Tristan?

Tristan: Yes Willy, unfortunately I do.

William: Well, of you stand, hold hands and make a nice little circle. (They stand and make a circle) clockwise (they start walking clockwise, William sings) Flibberty Gibbet et liben ter ta ago lamo avory say saw, counterclockwise! (They do so, continues singing) Jubit polime gambleook toor may rorn, do do do, do do do, do do do, jump! (They jump) Dah! (The lights turn off, when they turn on Mary and Sarah are standing in the middle of the circle)

Mary and Sarah: You rang?

William: Well, now that we got that over, everyone, I would like to introduce you to Mary of Magdalene and her daughter Sarah.

Robin: Quite good to meet you.

Mary: Would they be on a quest also?

Sarah: Funny, I did not feel any of them near. We have not screened them, mommy. We do not know if they are pure enough.

Lancelot: Well, we are on a quest, but not for the Holy Grail.

Mary: I remember you. You must have been sneaky, Sir Lancelot, if you came this far. But yet, the grail did not draw you into its presence. What are you on a quest for then?

Edwin: Avalon

Sarah: Did you hear them? They are on a quest for Avalon!

Robin: You know of it?

Mary: Yes we do, we are not mortal, and so we know of all things immortal.

Edwin: Did you hear that, Tristan?

Tristan: Yes, I heard.

Edwin: They just said that Avalon is real. (to Mary) That is what you said, right?

Mary: Yes, Avalon is real, but you have no hope in finding it. Arthur and his knights will only wake up and come to the aide of Britain at the predetermined date when Britain will need him most.

Lancelot: We are going though some very tough times now. Surely he is needed to overcome Mordred?

Sarah: No, there will be worse times to come, but that will be only after all of you, except for you Robin, and you Bridgette, join Arthur on Avalon.

Lancelot: So I will meet Arthur again?

Mary: When the dark times come.

Tristan: And I will live to see these dark times?

Sarah: You will suffer the death of your natural body. Your soul will find the body of your youth on the island, and it will sleep inside of it. You will not know what is passing in the world until you awake.

Edwin: And I will be among them, even though I am not one of the Knights of the Round Table?

Mary: Yes, you will be among them. For you, Sir Edwin, you are a knight of Camelot; and you are one of Arthur’s knights because you led this quest to find him. You will be the last great knight. It was by your bravery to go into the unknown to save your country that you have distinguished yourself. Soon many things will change; there will be no more quests, no more knights. Camelot itself will soon be no more.

Bridgette: What will happen to it?

Mary: A new reign approaches Britain. Time will come that Camelot will be so long forgotten that few will think it is real. This time is coming now. If you look, and if you listen you might just see your world change before your eyes.

Robin: Can we see the Holy Grail?

Sarah: Should they, mother? This is a very interesting situation indeed.

Mary: Indeed it is; Sarah, I think that they might be the ones.

Lancelot: The one what?

Sarah: We have lived for hundreds of years, waiting until someone show up that is worthy to take the grail into the mortal realm. (To Mary) and you think it is them? Why, they haven’t even come here for the grail!

Mary: No, they haven’t. But they have proved brave and honorable. You must remember what your father once told me-

Sarah: Enough with my father already! Almost every conversation we have you say your father did this, would your father like you to say that? I can’t stand it anymore. I didn’t even know him anyway, why would I know what he would want me to do?

Mary: As I was saying before I was so rudely interrupted, your father once told me that thee who does not want glory and riches is the best keeper of it.

Sarah: But we will be mortal too, if we give it to them.

Mary: You should know as well as I that mortality is not an ending, dear daughter, but merely the next great beginning.

Edwin: So where is the Grail?

Mary: It has been in your presence the entire time.

Lancelot: The grail is in the room with us? (Sarah pulls out a large, overly gilded cup, and walks over to Edwin)  

Sarah: It is you, Sir Edwin and generations of your family to come that fate has chosen to be the keepers of the Grail. (Edwin takes the Holy Grail and holds it up, Bridgette, Lancelot, Tristan, and Robin reach to touch it)

Edwin: Thank you kind Sarah, and you milady of Magdalene.

Bridgette: So now what?

Robin: Yeah, now that we know we can’t get to Avalon and we have the Holy Grail what do we do now?

William: (Steps forward) Well, I have been thinking.

Tristan: That’s a first.

William: If Mordred is really as bad as you say, I was thinking about, you know, maybe leading a force to dethrone him.

Lancelot: I don’t know what the people would think about Normans invading Britain.

Tristan:  Yeah, I’m sure someone is about to assassinate him anyway. But if he did get dethroned who would rule Britain? The heir, what’s his name-

Lancelot: Ethlred

Tristan: He’s unready. It would be worse then before.

William: Come on, we will be greeted as liberators! (Mary and Sarah laugh)

Robin: If you say so, your grace.

William: Come, come, why not Mark?

Tristan: Never.

William: Well, we can think of such things later. If you would like to join me we are going to land at Hastings, and set up our operations in a small Celtic town called Salisbury. I hear they make great steak there.

Mary: London will be better.

William: Then London it is. I hope to see you there! (Exits left)

Edwin: (awkwardly) So, Sarah, I hear that there is a ball tonight.

Sarah: There is.

Edwin: Now that you a newly mortal and all, I was thinking that you might want to-

Sarah: I would be delighted to. I just need to find a dress, but I’m sure that will be easy enough.

Edwin: Could you show me to someone who would show me to my room?

Sarah: I’m sure Marguerite would be more than happy to show you to your room, and then maybe show you little more after that.

Mary: Sarah!

Sarah: Well it’s true! (Giggles, Sarah and Edwin lock arms and exit, left)

Mary: Ah, young love.

Lancelot: I could only wish to be young again and to know what I do now.

Mary: Oh, and what is that which you now know?

Lancelot: Simple, milady, that all love is not young. (Kisses hand)

Mary: So brave and yet so knowledgeable.

Lancelot: So my fair young maiden, patient as the oldest redwood, fair as the whitest snow, and with hair as red as the reddest wine, would you like your brave protector to accompany you to the ball this evening?

Mary: Here I was thinking that I was nothing but an old wrinkled widow from Arabia.

Lancelot: Do you have an answer for me, my fair and wondrous lady?

Mary: (laughs) Yes, milord, I will go with you.

Lancelot: Then we better go and prepare.

Mary: We best (Both exit right)

Robin: Almost makes you want to get married, doesn’t it?

Bridgette: Never, Brother Robert, never.

Robin: But why?

Bridgette: Don’t you have a vow of chastity to uphold?

Robin: A mere technicality.

Bridgette: The wrath Catholic Church is a mere technicality?

Robin: Anything is a mere technicality if you want it enough.

Bridgette: Edwin told me that I don’t have to marry anyone if I don’t want to.

Robin: Ah, your dear old brother told me of your deal. I believe the wording was that ‘You may pick any man you wish and you may turn down any man he wishes; but you must find someone who will agree to marry you in a month’.

Bridgette: See, I can turn you down if you I so desire.

Robin: No, I’m afraid you can’t. You did not choose me, thus you can not unpick me and he did not pick me, thus you can’t turn me down. I found the loophole (Bridgette frowns) Would you rather live your life as Maid de Merieanne?

Bridgette: And if I do?

Robin: Do you still love me?

Bridgette: Yes

Robin: Do you want to spend the rest of your life with me?

Bridgette: (Thinks) Yes

Robin: Then why do you not want to marry me?

Bridgette: It is improper- I’m a noblewoman

Robin: Why do you not want to be married- tell me, be honest, my beauty, my flower, my rose without a thorn.

Bridgette: Because I do not want to get tied down, I want adventure.

Robin: You think you won’t get enough adventure with your dear old Robin Hood, crusader, monk, and thief, by your side?

Bridgette: I… I… I… (He grabs her hands and twirls her) I do.

Robin: That’s what I thought.

Bridgette: And I’m sure that I will get plenty of flowery words as well.

Robin: I’ll definitely see to that.

Scene Two
A week later; Bridgette, Edwin, Robin, and Sarah are getting ready to leave. Mary is there to see them off.

Mary: Are you absolutely certain that you want to go?

Sarah: Yes mother, I really am.

Mary: Well, if you insist, I  guess that it is really past time you left and started a family, why how old are you now 17? 18?

Sarah: 958

Mary: It is well past time, but you really must write me as a much as you possibly can.

Edwin: And we will be sure to come and visit after winter thaws!

Mary: Next spring? That is far too long. I bet I can arrange for the weather to be nice for Christmas, or why wait that long, what about All Saints?

Sarah: Mom, (Looks up to sky) Dad, I want you two to behave. I want a normal life. No changing the weather, no granting miracles on my behalf-

Robin: Actually it would be nice if he could part the Channel for us, the ride over was torture.

Sarah: (points up at sky) No you will not! And that means you too mother!

Mary: Fine (sigh) Oh, I can’t believe my daughter is finally leaving and going off to form a life of her own.

Bridgette: Well, we better get going. Where’s Tristan?

Robin: Trying to convince William to not invade, like he has been doing this whole week. (William, Lancelot and Tristan enter right)

Bridgette: There you are, hurry up or it will be too late and we will have to say goodbye again tomorrow.

Tristan: I guess I should get going.

William: Godspeed, my dear friend, I’ll be meeting you in Britain soon!

Tristan: May god be with you William. Lancelot, are you sure that you don’t want to come with us? It would be a delight to have your Mary come along.

Lancelot: Could you imagine Guinevere’s face? A sane man would stay here.

Robin: I could see how you would come to think that.

Lancelot: Oh, and by the way can you guys do me a favor?

Edwin: Sure, anything.

Lancelot: Really?

Bridgette: Yes, really.

Lancelot: Can you tell Guinevere that I died? (Tristan, Edwin, Bridgette, Sarah, and Robin look at each other.)

Bridgette: One… two… three… not it

Tristan: Not it

Robin: Not it

Sarah: Not it (All look to Edwin. Lights fade out)

The End

January 20, 2007
April 18, 2007
August 3, 2007
Castle Rock, Washington

Reviews

Showing 1 - 6 of 6