Journal, Diary, & Blogging / I found out tonight
I found out tonight.
I found out tonight that you are real. You have a life that is outside my fantasies. You are whole and flesh and feelings and hopes. You were not created to make me feel good. You are real.
It was so selfish of me to hold you there, molding you into something you cannot be. I trapped you and kept watch over you and guarded you and held you so tight. But that’s not the truth. That’s not who you are. You exist outside of me. There is a whole world going on for you that I never bothered to remind myself of.
I finally see the hurt I could have caused. I finally tremble at the lengths my greediness can reach and squash and twist and ruin. I wanted it all to crumble down because of boredom and complacency and lust.
You are not what I need. And I am releasing you. You don’t need to know this but I do. I need to let go and let you be free to soar and dive and do whatever you want to do. I want you to be happy. I want to be happy too. I want to move on.
I had you close and it could have been lovely and it won’t be easy, but that is as it should be. I need to find a way to be happy and whole. And it will be without you. And it will be another way. And it will be good.
Good bye.
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Good variety of sentence length. Getting rid of the “ands” at the end would help those last three sentences would add more emphasis.
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Wow, this is really powerful. I felt like you were talking directly to me. You don’t have any rating credentials but I would’ve given you at ten.
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A well written i think. Very well expressed and straight forward. a lot of people can relate to this. If there was cards for ending a relationship or even close friendship this would the card i’d pick up.
I like this. So many people don’t realize that the image they are obsessing over is entirely constructed within their own minds, leading to all kinds of strife and conflict. Congratulations on recognizing that, and thanks for sharing.
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