Don’t you hate it when they copy your words for you to re-read, as if you didn’t know them by heart. That was half the review and twice the number of credits it was worth. That’s right, Sharon.
Poetry / Elephant Man
What miserable thing my eyes hath pricked?
What cruel treachery hath God performed
On the thing named John Merrick?
To what immortal plan hath he conformed?
He hath been played a cruel trick of nature;
The slave to divine whim
Every perversion and contortion of stature
Is manifested in him.
Another trick, crueler still:
The hand the God perfected,
But not enough to cure or heal
The body that beauty neglected.
It hung like a whispery, wanton phantom,
A ghost of ill-conceived fate,
Amidst the horrid bedlam
Of what Beauty says to hate.
Even more then, Fate hath inflicted
Him with a mind and sure as Gibralter,
So that reality could not be evicted
And his pain could never falter
In imbecility he could find comfort
In lunacy he could find balance
The mirror it could distort
And set between the mind and body
An insurpassable distance.
Once more, a treacherous trick
The Fates hath conspired to perform
On our friend, John Merrick:
A thing in mockery born.
It was their cruelest feat.
They took his hideous form
And gave it the heart of an aesthete.
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sadsatan reviewed Version 1 -
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this peice is very descriptive of the matter.
Another trick, crueler still:
The hand the God perfected,
But not enough to cure or heal
The body that beauty neglected.
It hung like a whispery, wanton phantom,
A ghost of ill-conceived fate,
Amidst the horrid bedlam
Of what Beauty says to hate.
this part was esspecially touching.
i didnt really expect to like this peice so much, but it is very well written, with a great selection of wording.
i really like this one.
keep up the good work.
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Lenore reviewed Version 1 -
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Hahaha that was funny. The last three lines are my favorite. Basically pretty hilarious in a shakepearean way. I don’t just give out tens like high fives so pat yourself on the back. Who is John Merric? poor fellow.
wulfenstraat reviewed Version 1 -
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I never saw the movie, but you’ve sure given me an unusual glimpse of the man, especially the horror of being esthetically minded in such a horrible body, without the comfort of being a cretin who doesn’t know any better. You’ve done this well, impressively well with an ending that wrenches the heart. Very clever of you. Now, I have to read the other reviews and hear how they think this opus should be re-worked.
GreenIguana reviewed Version 1 -
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I like it and can’t really find fault with it, except, using the old language I think is unnecessary. I can’t remember when the Elephant Man lived but I believe it was more recent than the time of Shakespeare.
Sharon reviewed Version 1 -
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I liked your poem. I’m familiar with the story and your words ring true.
I think I liked your second verse the best:
“The hand the God perfected,
But not enough to cure or heal
The body that beauty neglected.
It hung like a whispery, wanton phantom,”
This is my favorite part. You have a way with words. Each line kept me interested to read the next. Bravo!
Keep up the writing. You did an excellent job describing your subject.
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