Poetry / My Sexuality Did Not Lay Right Today

My magnetic poetry
Freedom from expression
It is not obsequious if it is not
Words of my choosing
The anti anxiety medication
Would feel quite effective
If those little white pills
Would stop frightening

The psychosis of the day
Helps me forget
That I am insane,
Or was that inane

I hate stupid questions
Making me think too hard
Giving into the migraines
That help to mask
The vicodin lullabies
Boredom is tiresome
At times

The psychosis of the day
Helps me forget
That I am insane
Or was that inane

I have trouble focusing
Anymore

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realeyes69 avatar General Friend

May 12, 2008

realeyes69

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realeyes69 reviewed Version 2 - Read 100% of the Item

As I take drugs….I never understood their value.  In instance of curing what ails…..ills….of the soul,mind or bady. I wish I could climb into your skin …..just long enough for the psychosis tpo penetrate my core.  As for poetry… I appreciate your writing.  As for understanding….your desire your message…I am left trying to get there.  But your style is contemporary.  Maybe I need psyke drugs!!!  I like it al the same.

keep writing

IdiotSavant avatar General Stranger

May 09, 2008

IdiotSavant

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IdiotSavant reviewed Version 2 - Read 100% of the Item

First off, I understand this piece intimately.  Your word choice is solid, not confusing like much of the poetry I’ve read.  I must admit I don’t understand the title in how it relates to the poem.  Otherwise, good work.

jessica333 avatar General Stranger

May 08, 2008

jessica333

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jessica333 reviewed Version 2 - Read 100% of the Item

i think this poem addresses one of the biggest issues of our time and that is prescription drugs, esp. anti psychotic drugs and painkillers.  it speaks to alot of people out there

dolphine32781 avatar General Stranger

May 08, 2008

dolphine32781

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dolphine32781 reviewed Version 2 - Read 100% of the Item

I think a lot of teens and young adults can relate to this.

youngjed avatar General Stranger

May 08, 2008

youngjed

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youngjed reviewed Version 2 - Read 100% of the Item

It is not – should be They are not?? [Words plural]  This works better. Nice.  The line about white pills, I like….

youngjed avatar General Stranger

May 08, 2008

youngjed

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youngjed reviewed Version 1 - Read 100% of the Item

Very interesting.  I liked this a lot. One thought, I think the openiing needs a bit of work (the first four lines).  It scans a bit less comfortably than the rest I thought.

gmemi avatar General Stranger

April 21, 2008

gmemi

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gmemi reviewed Version 1 - Read 100% of the Item

Not really sure what you were going for here. I don’t necessarily get what the title has to do with the piece.  In addition, I think one must be careful when referencing narcotics without coming through with something substantial.  There are far too many drug abusers producing extremely effective art and so it instantly puts you in a catagory where you either have to perform suffiently up to snuff or it comes across as some kind of sympathy ploy.  If your drugs aren’t having a unique and enlightening effect on your musings, than I am not sure if it’s worth sharing.  You were obviously going for something, I am just curious what that was.

thesilencescr avatar General Stranger

November 30, 2007

thesilencescr

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thesilencescr reviewed Version 1 - Read 100%% of the Item

Very good! My favorite stanza is the second and my favorite line in that stanza is “the phsycosis of the day helps me forget that Im insane”. This poem is good but it could use commas to help the flow. So the reader knows when to pause and when to keep reading. I was using the end of the lines to tell me when to pause but then at points it didnt sound right to pause, so you might want to think about add a few commas. Great job I love it! Best of luck to you!

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MissChris avatar

MissChris

Age: 24
Loc: Mesa, AZ
Gen: F
Last Login: September 15
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Version 1
Latest Activity: 6 months ago

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