Children's / Mama, where's the moon?

Really very cute.  As a parent I would love to read this to my kids as it is short as are their attention spans.  I like the way it explains how the moon and sun take turns in a fun, flowing, and entertaining way. Again I really did enjoy it.

Overall very cute and lovely. I think though that you could expand this and make it in to a really good children’s story. I have ideas popping into my head right now, you could really do some great work based on this. Keep it up!

I felt like I as reading conversation that you had with your child, just as you said word for word.  I would think that the text of the conversation might be good in a much longer more discriptive story about a little girl going to bed.  Or a little girl that asks lots of questions.  The text is good but needs a story around it for me.  Keep working on it like you said.  

I enjoyed the story.  The end when the child asks where the moon is one last time after getting tucked into bed made me laugh.  I can picture the inquisitive child bursting with questions about the world. This could be a fun bedtime story.  Nice job.

This is a very nice and realistic look at the way children think.  I can just picture the child asking the questions, and not giving up when they don’t quite understand the answer.  Nice Job.

This was a cute writing, because it really brings out how children really are, they ask so many questions about stuff they want to understand so badly and then get so excited about things, its funny!

I loved reading this piece, and hope to read much much!

Thanks & goodluck!

It reminds of another book called “Mama, Mama.” I like how you personify the moon. I like this line “and mama would miss you too much.” I think I would rather see the story take place at the moment instead of over time. It starts in the daytime and then end that night. I also felt that asking “Where’s the sun” seemed to break up the affection you buld up towards the moon. The ending needs some work too. Maybe the child could ask, “When will the moon go to sleep?” since the child originally woke it up—it kind of bring the story full circle. In short, set yoru story at night and focus on the moon.

I liked the story over all.  I liked the warm comfortable feeling that I got from reading it.  However, I think that it may be enhanced by adding some description.  Such as, the name of the child and of the mother.  What they look like, and what they are doing would be helpful as well.

I enjoyed reading this and can imagine this as a picture book for a 3-year-old. Good luck.

Always capitalize Mama and Moon when used in place of a name.
loves me mama = love me, Mama
‘Good night moon.  Good night mama’ = ‘Good night, Moon. Good night, Mama.’
‘Good night sweetie.’ = ‘Good night, sweetie.’
Last sentence: Where’s . . .