Journal, Diary, & Blogging / i was in durban and i fell in love with her
durban is a strange, extraordinary city in a way that i cannot describe in detail. aesthetic, vicious and lonely. her way to treat different kind of people is amazingly grievous to see and, when you realize that it is not her fault, you’re forced to say sorry, i am truly sorry. she tries to take care of you but there are too many people to be taken care of, too many human beings are vulnerable in her heart, too many people spit on her face to show their disappointment and only a handful of people are willing to give her a chance to be free, untrammeled and still she tries, struggles to help anyone who lives under her sky. she is beautiful, let me assure you that. she is maybe the most exquisite and ravishing city where i have been but at the same time she is the most fragile and breakable city where i have ever been.
i just had a few chances to be alone with her. people continuously repeated that it is too dangerous to walk in the streets of durban and you will get mugged if you take a stroll anywhere, especially if you have your bag with you. this basically meant that i could not take almost any pictures of her because i just had to listen too many times how i will get stabbed if i walk around with a camera. i took my chance on saturday evening and walked to a beach and took some pictures although i felt quite insecure – not because the people seemed to be suspicious but the stories made me paranoid, hallucinating. i got an overdose of artificial delusion that is created by the people who live in durban. and no, i have no right to say that durban is a safe place to be but i felt incredible sad when almost everyone were taking overdose of the paranoia. yes, my friends and i ended up in a very sketchy part of durban at nine o’clock in the evening and we were scared and lost but we survived. and i must admit i would never again lay my feet in that place, not even during the day time but durban as a whole is not a psychotic patient in a mental institute even though she is a bit broken. i love durban.
to simplify, durban is a gorgeous city. there are a lot of things to do and i did not see even one percent of her body yet. victoria street, pine street and north beach are my favorite places in her lungs. to be honest, mostly she did not look like an african city. to me, she was more like a multicultural and world place where everyone has a right to live. over twenty percent of population are indian and it made me kinda happy, i felt home at the victoria street and i was so happy when i bought some indian sweets and food and talked hindi with strangers. oh and the cloud’s drawers (pilvenpiirtäjä, skyscrapers) were so amazing, amazing and let me repeat, amazing. i have never been in a a city where would be so many skyscrapers and immediately when i saw one, i wanted to to the top floor and yell, i love you durban, i love my life and my world. and the beaches – i never consider myself as a person who likes coast cities, nevertheless cares about beaches. but in durban, the heart of durban at night was in beaches. sand dunes, waves and waves singing in a way that made me realize that south africa might be a place for me.
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Well it sounds like a place that would be very interesting to be, I loved how you talked about the feel and the life almost like you were speaking of your heart. I belive the most wonderful things in life are for free, if we as people took more time to look around and stop and take in all our surroundings then it would make our lives a better place to be. I think you will be a good writer with time.
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This is lovely. You write with passion and emotion of this beautiful city -- I’ve never been even to the same continent, but through your words I feel like I know Durban well. I love the way you personify the city, as a living, breathing woman you know well and adore. It’s very effective and poetic, and makes me think quite a bit of Michael Ondaatje, who sometimes does similar things with his prose -- if you haven’t read him, I’d check out his books. Thanks for sharing this lovely piece.
This is a heart-felt piece, your attachement to the city is quite evident. However, I did notice a few problems with the story. First of all, you say that you cannot describe the city in detail, this is very revealing for the writer, though it does not reveal a good thing. You are telling the reader that you can give no detail, you cannot describe anything specefic about the place. As a reader, I would be tempted to stop reading the story right there. Consider re-writing it as something like: ”. . .whose description can scarcely be put into words.” but even that is a red flag for the reader. Also the last sentence of the first paragraph contains the phrase ”. . . where I have every been.” I believe the proper way to say it is ”. . . that I have ever been.” You have the makings of a fine story. I suggest you read it aloud and see where it bogs down in a few places and the transitions do not do their jobs properly. Or better yet, have someone read it aloud to you. That is a good editing trick.
When you start off the story you need to hook the reader with a hook the reader paragraph. I have a hard time telling what the plot of this story if and where it is going. Then you use the comma way to much in some of the sentences. This is a nice story but a little more practice to keep the flow of the story going.
I like the lack of capital lettering, it give it an almost e.e. cummings feel. Your descriptions are fantastic and enjoy the personfication that you put into this city. When writer’s speak of places or things as if they have personalities, they seem to have a full understanding of what they are writing about. The city is not just a city, but a living and breathing place to be observed. Good work.
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