Thank you. Incidentally, most of the families involved did sue. I found their court cases/news stories on Lexis-Nexis while researching for a college English paper. The first and last stanzas refer to me.
Journal, Diary, & Blogging / One of Many
I have been watched. I have been pointed at. I have been humiliated.
I’ve had to push his body away from mine just so I could move freely.
My rear has been slapped in front of hundreds of students. Rumors have been spread.
I have known that he would be waiting outside any door I walked through.
I have had to watch for him just so I could try to avoid him.
I have dreaded every day of the week because they were so much alike.
I have ignored him, asked him to stop, demanded that he stop, and even hit him.
There were many such incidents with many such boys and there were always witnesses.
The teachers knew. The principals knew. So many people knew.
I have asked for help time and again, to watch nothing be done.
They started when I was 14 and didn’t stop until I graduated. I couldn’t stop them.
I’ve known how it was to feel helpless, but I fought anyway.
She’s maybe 14. She has been molested in classroom closets while the others and the teacher just laughed.
She cried and begged for help, while the teacher scoffed and told her to stop teasing the boys.
Someone slapped her rear, stuck his hand in her pants, and groped her, in the hallway.
The principal blamed her and did nothing.
She has been beaten, fondled, and water was spit on the front of her shirt.
The staff saw everything, knew everything, but stopped no one.
It went on for two years.
She is clinically depressed, has PTSD, and is in therapy.
She’s only 12. She was just checking her locker when she was grabbed from behind.
She was pulled to the ground in a corner where he groped her, kissed her, and tried to remove her clothes.
She fought back and got away with scratches on her chest.
She is groped and bullied all the time, but she says that was the worst.
Even when someone saw it happening, nothing would be said and nothing would be done.
She yelled at them and even punched someone and, finally, she told her parents.
After three weeks of staying at home, the school finally let her transfer.
Instead of being protected as the victim, they treated her like she had done something wrong.
She’s only 11. Her mother found her crying one day in her bedroom.
She said her stomach hurt, but she was too upset to say why.
On the bus ride home that afternoon, six older boys had held her down on the floor.
They groped her and lay on top of her.
The next day, when she got on the bus, they threatened to finish what they had started.
She told the assistant principal, the school called her mom, and her mom called the police.
Proper action was being taken, then the case file was misplaced by police.
It wasn’t found again until after the statute of limitations on those crimes had expired.
She’s only a child and she doesn’t feel safe anymore.
She’s only 7. She flunked a routine hearing test and had to carry a card that read “failed.”
One boy drew a nude picture of her with her name on it and showed it to friends.
She started being taunted by six boys with sexual language.
She was pinched and grabbed. They pinned her against a wall and they threatened
to force another boy to have sex with her at the school Valentine’s Day dance.
She went to a counselor and was told that she needed to handle her own problems.
The principal refused to act in any way against those boys.
The child became a student at a local private school, where she could finally be normal.
Her parents had to sue the school to have anything done at all.
I’m sure that he remembers me but I doubt that he realizes why I so dislike him.
I’m not sure he ever even believed that the way he treated me was wrong.
Then, maybe he always knew but didn’t care.
Maybe he enjoyed the sense of control he got from hurting me, the high he got from humiliating me.
I remember him….and it still burns. I think of him and I still feel sick.
He used to laughingly ask me if I thought of him fondly outside of class, if I dreamed of him at night.
I didn’t and I was quick to tell him so, but not so now.
For years now I have had anxiety-filled dreams, anger-filled dreams, and emotion-less dreams of him, or simply his presence.
The idea of meeting him while out still scares me.
I still feel the darkness closing in sometimes when I remember him standing so close to me, his breath on my neck.
I am not weak but I might never fully heal.
I am helping to raise awareness by sharing my story.
I am one of many. I am a survivor.
3/10/07
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Deadsage reviewed Version 2 -
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This piece has come a long way since I last read it! I have added it to my favorites and wanted you to know that.
I too am a survivor of abuse, though my memory doesn’t permit me any of the details, I just stuffed it down.
This is an excellent piece of writing and if it doesn’t make someone care, nothing will. Good Work.
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Courtney_C reviewed Version 2 -
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Damn! Thats really deep. And I thought I had problems. Whoever this happen to they really need to get a baseball bat and go to work!!!!JK…but they have had it bad. I can understand what it means to be teased but not like in a sexual way. The person should sue everyone who harassed her. She would make a lot of MONEY.-Courtney
JAshley reviewed Version 2 -
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I have never personally been in the shoes your are so vividly describing but I know someone very close to me who was. She’s told me horror stories that made me cry and want to beat the shit out of everyone involved(I did once). I can’t believe this is still an issue in the world today but your piece of writing really got me thinking again. It put me back in check with reality. Your piece was perfectly written, you were very distinct as to when you were talking about others and when you were talking about you, I don’t know how you managed to fit examples of other random struggles and still keep such a strong focus on your main topic but you did and I commend you.
“I am not weak but I might never fully heal.
I am helping to raise awareness by sharing my story
I am one of many, I am a survivor”
Yes you are a survivor and thank you for writing this.
Justin
CatherineR reviewed Version 2 -
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I usually never read stuff that’s written in verse-type things like that but that was so cool and such a great thing to share. I really enjoyed reading it. But what’s PTSD? It was really good to read and interesting etc.
leighahh reviewed Version 2 -
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a very powerful story of what really does happen to our children and how the schools and authorities fail to protect those who cant protect themselves how others dismiss such behavior because “their just kids”. i applaud you for your courage to speak out and to take action through words at the very least against such terrible things. Wonderful poem and wonderful Job
SwordlessSaint reviewed Version 2 -
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i see whre ur coming from with this piece. But it is common to hear of such traumatic history, and yes kids can be so cruel. i hope you have not lost all hope in mankind and that some kids are not all bad. im sure you have become all the more stronger because of these trials, even tho you may not think so. i like how u pitched this piece, its very well written, no errors that im am aware of.
PurlDruid reviewed Version 2 -
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I’m crying…..too close. Thank you. I simply don’t know what else to say, but you are strong and so am I. Blessings to you, and thank you again.
MARCH reviewed Version 2 -
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This was a nice reading. This kind is written like a poem . Your grammar and everything was good. PLus by giving so much detail actually made feel what these girls went trough.good job.
L8NiteBluz reviewed Version 2 -
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A very compelling write. I think you chose correctly posting it under “Journal, Diary, and Blogging”, but there is also poetry in your words and the way you describe the horrors of abuse. This is quite well written, devastating in it’s honesty, and most certainly worthy of publication somewhere. The use of language and the way it reads is so good, I can’t really pick it apart from a technical standpoint, and as I mentioned, the content is chilling. Outstanding.
EmeraldTokyo reviewed Version 2 -
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You’re words are so powerful and gut wrenching. I feel even those who haven’t been through such an experience can understand the pain of such an experience from your words. It’s a powerful piece and it tears at my heart to read it. You bring tears to my eyes with your writing and you make me think. That’s a good thing! I feel so angry for all those mentioned in this writing, that it compels me to want to do something about it. :)
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