Journal, Diary, & Blogging / Tears of Blood

This piece is interesting, and you succeeded in making the most depressing work that I have reviewed on this site. I don’t really understand why this is in journal and blogging, as you have given the “main character” of this piece the universal “you.” I think there needs to be more explanation of what the girl has done in order to make “you” feel it necessary to slit your wrists. Or what is going to happen to her that you want your body to “cry” just as you have. With this explained, if explained well and with good reason, you could have a very interesting piece here. Keep writing.

You’ve captured the intensity of the emotions you undergo during self-affliction, depression.  The reader has acquired some insights of what the experience is like to piercing your flesh, the sensations of sombre anguish is shown vividly.  The usage of “tears of blood” is grotesquely beautiful.  The images portrayed by your word play is exhilarating.  The desire to have a distraction from the swoon of depression is strong.  Thus leading to pierce your wrists so you are concentrated more on physical pain.  Then your sobbing exhilarates because of the awareness of what your doing to yourself.  Soon you come to realize your the cause to your self-destruction, only making it worse.  This is a certain prospect in life I can relate to.  Hopefully, now you have conquered your demons, overcoming the symptoms of depression, anxiety.

-veronica  

The water element is too strong in this piece and it’s has a nice flow. I appreciate this moment: “Something seeming tangible but when you wake up it just becomes a memory that will one day be forgotten. ”
Keep writing!
Aloha!

i gave you low scores because this really doesnt explain anything; i mean, it’s a foreign language to those who aren’t SI-ing. communication is a key and if you’re only going to go with losing a loved one(the gf?) then mentioning slitting wrists is only going to make your audience cringe in an awkward way that will push them away(hint hint!).

hm…i cant rely on you picking up my hidden advice there when it comes to something like this. lost loved ones are a part of human life, it’s probably the toughest. slitting your wrists only makes it worse for everyone around you; people you dont know that well will only push you away and those who are close will only get closer but this will only add strain to them. and if you go the extra mile then you just make those who you pushed away feel guilty, and those who felt guilty from the start then end up in your boat. if you dont kick this addiction, and wait out the pain rather than adding to it yourself, you’ll only spread it.

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November 28, 2007

by Pritsos

personal info reviewer stats

No. of Reviews	Overall Quality	Comment Followup
92	84.6% (13 votes)	76.9%

Age	Gender	Location	Last Login
23	M	Phoenix, AZ	April 03

I think this should be more of a review on the writing. If the writer was asking for advice on suicidal behavior they would have stressed that in the details. Just a thought.

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