Journal, Diary, & Blogging / Never Send Royalty on Combat Missions

This past week, I fell victim to that nasty cold/flu/sinus/infection thing that appears to be going around. This little sucker of a virus knocked me out for a good 3 days. As a result, I was stuck at home, wrapped in a blanket, continuously blowing gunk from my nose, and being generally miserable.

What is one to do whilst in the grips of an illness? Why, channel surf of course!

During my channel surfing, I came across a familiar old friend: RETURN OF THE JEDI. Now, I have had issues with this particular movie for years. Well, I found another.

So, after the speeder bike chase, Princess Leia is unconscious and awakened by a midget wearing a faux bear suit poking her with a stick. She then decides it would be a fun idea to play with this little “thing” for a while.

Now, let’s think about this. She’s separated from her unit, she has no idea where she is, she is lacking in provisions (she’s not wearing any kind of pack), she has only a small sidearm for protection, and she could be surrounded by God knows how many hostiles.

Given this set of circumstances, her reaction is to play with a midget in a faux bear suit? Not only that, she sits her ass down on a big log, making herself an easy and obvious target. She might as well wear a sign reading “Shoot me!! Shoot me!!” She might as well start waving a French flag.

In fact, somebody does fire a shot at her. Fortunately for Princess Leia, the shooter is an Imperial Stormtrooper. How does the Empire manage to dominate the entire galaxy with an army of guys who can’t pass even basic marksmanship? These guys couldn’t hit an African bull elephant in the ass with a canoe paddle. SHE’S SITTING ON A BIG FRIGGIN’ LOG! Stevie Wonder could make that shot, fer crissakes! A French guy could make that shot! I’m picking on the French again, aren’t I? Whatever.

Fortunately (or unfortunately, depending on your point of view), Princess Leia extracates herself relatively effortlessly from a situation which would cause serious worry in the heart of even the most savvy of combat soldiers. Thank goodness for a lack of basic script realism. She should have been a K.I.A. or taken prisoner. Now THAT would be an interesting plot development!!

I won’t even get into the believability of midgets wearing faux bear suits with Stone Age-level technology defeating an advanced civilization capable of faster-than-light travel in any kind of warfare you’d care to mention. Maximus’ legion from the beginning of GLADIATOR would have kicked the shit out of midgets wearing faux bear suits. At least the friggin’ Romans could forge metal weaponry. And they had heavy cavalry.

And yes, in case you couldn’t tell already, I’m feeling much better, thanks.

You need to log in to urbis or create an urbis account to review this writing.

Reviews

September 23, 2007

nelson1

No. of Reviews	Overall Quality	Comment Followup
1425	78.7% (291 votes)	69.3%

personal info reviewer stats

Age	Gender	Location	Last Login
39	F	United Kingdom	November 29

nelson1 reviewed Version 1 - Read 100%% of the Item

That was an amusing way to pass a horrid day. Valid points are made on this, but like I always say, “its in the script”.LOL. It was well written only one typo, fer instead of for chrissakes.