i’m glad you like it. thank you.
Poetry / wind
inside,
all those tiny pieces,
gears, and springs
work together.
behind the hands,
the face,
the Indiglo,
they’re synchronized.
keep good time.
you must take care of
each individual part.
oil, grease, brush, dust.
blow on it!
the body is a time piece.
tick, tick, tick
do not over wind.
if you breathe in deeply,
your ribs open,
lift.
widen and rise.
diaphragm sealed tight.
lungs swell and wrap
the heart,
keep it in place.
my heart is still in there,
but what if your
lungs and ribs
weren’t synchronized?
diaphragm popped open?
what if your heart
slides out of your ribs
and rolls out
of the bed while you’re
sleeping?
wet spot on the carpet.
it could stain if you
don’t get to it in time.
pick off cat hair
and bits of fuzz.
blow on it!
rinse it.
throw it in the dishwasher,
(top rack)
or sneak it in with
a load of underwear.
(gentle cycle)
line dry
until an unexpected
summer storm.
15 minutes is
just long enough
to make puddles warm.
in my sleep, I breathe
shallowly.
I wake from nice
dreams and gasp.
my heart fell like a
spiny thing in the wind,
too heavy for the sweetgum branch.
it plays all these pieces.
(pause, fast forward, rewind)
my ribs are the box,
my diaphragm an open flap,
my lungs Styrofoam packing,
slide out the brand new VCR.
(no one buys those anymore)
glow in the dark.
blink, blink, blink
menu,
select,
clock set.
You need to log in to urbis or create an urbis account to review this writing.
Reviews
Sort Reviews by Newest | Oldest | Highest Quality | Lowest Quality | Newest Comments |
epifany1704 reviewed Version 1 -
Read 100%% of the Item
I’m not 100% sure if I understood this piece correctly. I liked its originality but was fairly unclear as to exactly what you were trying to convey…..I found it most interesting and symbolic that you depicted your self w/ no heart, I sort of thought you were headed for a loved-and-loss sort of piece…fooled me.
- add/view comments (1)
angelique_07 reviewed Version 1 -
Read 100%% of the Item
I wouldn’t change a thing.
This is going in my favorites.
I don’t think you’ve wasted one word on us, very concise.
The imagery was clear and wonderfully creative.
Well done!
gilesward reviewed Version 1 -
Read 100%% of the Item
Is it wind or wind, or is that a deliberate ambiguity? I really enjoyed the first verse and the fun you had with bringing the human and the clock together. Was there a chance to make more of the relationship between time and the body and how it deteriorates? From there, I confess, I struggled a little to get into what you were saying. I suppose I was so drawn by the first verse, that the rest didn’t quite live up to my expectation… Hope this makes sense and is some help?
Showing 1 - 3 of 3
Review item
Add to favesCreator
Relevant Links
Item Stats
GENERAL
3 Reviews 3 Comments
Version 1
Latest Activity: about 1 year ago
REVIEW QUEUE
Appeared in Queue: 0 Times
Skipped: 0 Times
Ratings & Rankings
