Criticism / Letter to Society

Thank you. As for not being all that good at journalism, that’s not a problem at all. I’m getting entirely too many reviews from journalism students that I’m having a hard time appreciating. At this point, I’m thinking of either changing the category for this posting or of removing it all together.

Thank you very much. For posting purpose, b/c should have been because; but, as a letter, it still works. That 2nd sentence could definitely be broken into two sentences, though I think its still on this side of the line between what constitutes a run-on sentence and what doesn’t. Thank you again. I hope one day to have some of my writing used to further this cause by someone other than me.

Sorry it took so long for me to get around to reading this. Honestly, it got buried. To the notion of being held hostage inside myself as a victim, I completely agree, but at the same time, there was the line: “The memory of seeking help and getting none still burns inside, like the kind of burning sensation you get when you rub roughly against solid ice.” I did seek help. Too, most everything was witnessed by students and teachers. Thank you for reviewing this letter. I really appreciate the feedback and hope that we’ll be successful in reaching enough ears and, soon, enough hearts and, maybe, one day, enough hands and mouths at a time when the hands aren’t covering the mouths.
Mandy

Hey thats not a problem sweet as I always say better late than never right hehehehe and Hey! we’re gonna have to work on it to our message across.What do ya say??

I expressed my experience through a poem I wrote called “Shattered
Beauty” its basically the emotional torture I was going through your more than welcomed to read it when and if you have time.

Feel free to add me as a friend if ya want

Cheers

Amy

Perhaps. We’ll see. As for reading Shattered Beauty, I will definitely plan on it. I hope that by “was”, you’re indicating that you have been successful in getting past that time in your life. No one should have to go through something so terrible, much less have to endure it after its “over”. Will do. Cheers.

Yeah I was successful in getting past that dreadful time in my life, it’s been a year now so I think Im doing  pretty well aye.

Cheers Amy

Not a great review this. I should have looked at your piece more thoroughly. Sincere apologies.

Sorry it took so long to read and answer; life gets busy. Thank you for reviewing Letter to Society. In the general sense of things, you’re right—’b/c’ should and would have been ‘because’. :) Incidentally the only part of your review that I’m inclined to disagree with is whether or not ‘proper action’ needs to be much elaborated on. Zero-tolerance policies inevitably come with ‘or-elses’; an insulting comment of a sexual nature is first met with a warning and 2nd with a minimum of a day or 2 of In-school suspension. Same with a slap on the rear or something, to be followed immediately if necessary by Out-of-school suspension or expulsion if it continues or escalates, and legal action/expulsion for more personal types of groping and/or rape. Schools with zero-tolerance policies already know what ‘proper action’ means; the problem is in not actually enforcing it. Also, other recommendations/concerns were covered. Otherwise, I’d like to say that the title “Letter to Society” is synonymous with the general format of the article. When it comes to letters, which can qualify as journalism, at least the more informal kind, upfront and extremely personal with the article starting out and unfolding the way it does I think is okay. Thank you again for your input. I don’t know whether I’m going to do more with this one or not; but, if I do, I’ll probably at least try to organize it better and not be quite so repetitive.

In some cases repetitiveness is appropriate and needed its all about getting the message out alot clearer b\c you say it once and it feels its more like a slap on the hand and thats it if yknw what I mean. I say leave it as it is b\c you can guarantee there will be someone like myself who understand if for how it is presented. Yeah paragraphs would help but HEY its not a crime.
Keep up the good work.

Thank you Amy. Yes, I think I know just what you
mean. Good thing that the lack of paragraphs isn’t a
crime. If it were, I’d be locked up as a repeat
offender with felony charges. lol. Thanks again.

Pesaroso fêz exame assim por muito tempo à resposta. Entre o trabalho e a escola, eu esqueci-me realmente de que as revisões para esta estavam aqui… agradecimentos para sua revisão amável da letra à sociedade. A violência sexual é um problema sentido em torno do mundo. Quando meu alvo pessoal for a presença da violência sexual nas escolas, eu sou orgulhoso ser parte de uma rede dos povos que combatem a violência sexual em toda parte, em cada formulário. Em vez “felicidade”, eu suspeito que a palavra que você está procurando é “acontecendo” porque eu estou supondo que sua língua preliminar é português, “happiness”=”felicidade”, visto que de agradecimentos do “happening”=”acontecimento” outra vez. Bom dia. P.S. Quando eu for em nenhuma parte perto de fluent no português qualquer um, eu encontrei www.babelfish.altavista.com para ser muito útil:)

You speak Brazilian? How wonderfully impressive.

Thank you, but no. I do speak minimal Spanish though. For all other languages: www.babelfish.altavista.com :)

Thanks. As for where, I don’t know. Honestly, I don’t have plans to get this published; the rating was meant only on a statistical basis. Incidentally, I meant to switch out all of the “b/c”s, but forgot. (oops.) Thanks again.

The stats are in reference to those that experience sexual harassment at school between grades 2 and 12. At last count, about 39% of girls between grades 2 and 12 are sexually harassed/assaulted on a regular basis. I hope that the other pieces I’ve posted will provide better clarification for you.

That’s what I don’t understand. The statistic you state is “89% of girls” when the actual number is 50% less than that.

Where are your stats from? With that info, I would be happy to look into that. As for mine, I got them from the AAUW: American Association of University Women webpage.

My stats are from the US Department of Health and Human services. See table 3-9:
http://www.acf.dhhs.gov/programs/cb/pubs/cm05/table3_9.htm

The greatest percentage of child mistreatment is the 0-3 age bracket, and that is at around 30%. That’s still a terrible number, but I don’t see where this 89% comes from. After all, if only 30% experience mistreatment, then even less are sexually abused (a sub-category), and even less than that are sexually abused in schools (a sub-sub-category).

Makes sense. On the other hand, AAUW I would say surveyed victims in general, whereas the US Department of Health and Human Services would more likely have gotten their results from those who sought legal action and from those whose stories were reported to them by local hospitals.

“Surveyed victims in general” doesn’t mean anything statistically. Do you mean they took a simple random sample of individuals and asked them if they were sexually abused? I’d like to see the statistical workup. The Department of Health and Human Services clearly defined their statistical workup, and even though their numbers would be low, I don’t think they’d be 50% lower.

I doubt there’s any such thing as a survey that is scientifically accurate, statistically, simply b/c its impossible to survey every individual and ensure that each one only answers once and honestly. As for who they surveyed, yes. I would imagine that’s exactly what they did, but then I’m not a member of AAUW. Now, as I have no intention of debating this subject with you until Christ returns to Earth, perhaps you’ll like Version 2 of Letter to Society better. Cheers. —Mandy