Thanks itacaregaucho. You are one busy reviewer. So cool that you understand and I am so glad you like my stuff. Oh, by the way, when you say “I´m rookie in English Language”. You should instead say: “I`m a rookie at English”. But you seem pretty good at English to me. Aloha and thanks again.
Journal, Diary, & Blogging / The Square - Rules To Live By For Anxious Teens
Rules to live by for anxious teens:
Rule # 1. At some point in your late teens, at an otherwise unanimated family gathering, some of your uncles and aunts and other less credentialed grown-up relatives will suddenly group together into an angry mob and begin shouting at you: “WHY DON’T YOU GET A REAL JOB, GET MARRIED, HAVE CHILDREN, MORTGAGE YOUR ENTIRE LIFE TO THE MILITARY-INDUSTRIAL COMPLEX AND BE MISERABLE AND UNFULFILLED FOR THE REST OF YOUR FREAKING LIFE?”
When they do you must remain calm. Do not weep. Do not moan, shudder or throw yourself at their feet. Certainly, do not thank them for their uncharacteristic frankness.
No.
Stare nonchalantly out any nearby window. Breathe in slowly through your nostrils, hold the breath for a moment, savour it, and then say, in a cool yet not superior tone: “Because I don’t wanna be like any of you.”
For one exquisite moment time will cease to function. And during that moment you will glimpse the world as other beings would glimpse it were they around to do so.
For once you have made your stand in the face of your uncles, aunts, step-aunts, cousins and family friends the worst that can happen is that you will never be invited back to any more family gatherings. Oh they will talk about it and moan about it for years to come. But you won`t care ´cos you will be out in the world someplace…letting it know you exist and are eager to learn.
That`s the worst, and it´s a breeze.
The best that can happen is that your cool uncle and aunt, for there is only ever one pair, will invite you on a trip in their air-conditioned, coconut oil-powered van to some lonesome ridge outside of town where you will share a joint, discuss ideas, watch the impossibly perfect sunset roll up inside of itself in slow motion, and begin finally to understand that the square that you think outside of contains almost everyone you ever met.
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Nytefist7 reviewed Version 1 -
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“less credentialed grown up relatives” That is an awesome description.
This is humorous in that “family movie at the Holidays” kind of way. I think my one problem is that the narration slowly shifts from neutral, to having a vested interest, to becoming completely about you. For me, it either always needs to be about you, or never about you. It will have more impact one way or the other. It’s still good, regardless.
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itacaregaucho reviewed Version 1 -
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I really appreciate your text. It’s has a nice flow. I like when you write this: “For one exquisite moment time will cease to function. And during that moment you will glimpse the world as other beings would glimpse it were they around to do so.” I understand.
I can not write about grammar because I’m rookie in English Language.
Keep writing!
Aloha!
IndyWalsh reviewed Version 1 -
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That’s actually quite true, very humorous might I add.
I had a similar thing happen to me and one of my uncles a few years ago, I wasn’t a teenager and it wasn’t about jobs or marriage or whatnot but nontheless you get the idea.
Weaver reviewed Version 1 -
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You had my attention with the first paragraph. Sadly, it isn’t just teens who get this tirade directed at them. (“Why don’t you get a real job, get married, and stop wasting your time on something totally stupid like writing?” Yeah, there’s a chance that many of us still hear it from time to time…)
I really like your recommended response, too. You chose a good time to post this piece, with the holidays approaching. Maybe it will help someone deal with their own angry mob at an “otherwise unanimated family gathering”... or at least make them able to laugh about it.
L8NiteBluz reviewed Version 1 -
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You only listed one rule….but who needs more than one rule anyway :-) This is a nice, pointed work of prose, or some could even say, “editorial opinion”. No matter what it’s called, it’s well done, and probably resonates even louder for those of us who can identify! Look forward to reading more.
neoprose reviewed Version 1 -
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For starters cut out those goals. They get in the way of the item.
Now, to the item. That was one of the best diary epistolary type prose that I have seen on here. That was really brilliant. I would love to read your other work.
MrBillShow reviewed Version 1 -
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On a technical note, you refer to “rules” in your title and then only post one rule throughout this piece. You did have many different aspects and consequences of adhering to this rule but you didn’t really spell out “rules.”
This is a great reminder that it only takes a small number of people to give you belief and support. While the rest of the family is thumbing their noses, it only takes that “cool aunt and uncle” to give you a wink and say “We get you. Go for it. Do something extraordinary.” If only more of us could follow that advice!
“Impossibly perfect sunset” made me smile.
smash54 reviewed Version 1 -
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I really like this. It’s witty in a very dark humor sort of way. It also feels very brief. That’s not such a bad thing, though. You got in, punched us in the mouth and got out. Well done!
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