Poetry / Dear Momma

It’s a lovely sentiment, but I think more concrete imagery could make it emotionally powerful on a deeper level.  Right now, it feels a little vague for an experience that is so personal.

This poem was inspiring, although it was a bit on the corny side at the end, maybe change the part about the “loving wings will surround me”, but overall i’d say it;s a keeper.

I like this poem and I think that it will speak to everyone. I think that your punctuation needs some work. When one though is finished let us know by adding a period! :-) I think that considering what this poem is job!all about you could definately revise it to have a little more emotion flow through the words. I love the last part though! Hit it right on! Those last lines DO NOT need to be touched! All around great

This is well written, you portray the emtotion of what was going on very well. I like how you write simply and to the point, it is how I like to write too. You make every word count and don’t stick words in just because they are long and sound cool. The only thing that I think could make this better is if you added another stanza at the end that relates to how you started the piece. maybe you could say something about “fading away.” You could try it and if you dont come up with anything you still have a great poem the way it is now.

A truly wonderful poem.  The line “Dear Momma, Dear Momma, please don’t think me unkind” is a true outpouring of emotion.  The repitition gives the feeling of almost pleading with her.  The poem is full of love and warmth which overpowers the sadness.  

This piece is very musical. It flows like lyrics to a song. The only tweak I would suggest is the section after “never fear or have doubt. Everything rolled smoothly off my tongue until I got to that point.

I really like where you are going with this, but I think alot could be done to make it even better. I would try to make the rhymes less predictable, (ie: away-day, not-got). The poem has a really good rhythem and i enjoyed reading it, I would just work on the Rhyme and maybe make it even longer.

Having been in this position, I understand the circumstances of this poem.
Being an atheist, I envy you your faith when dealing with the situation. I hope others gain solace from your sentiments in this poem.
I held my mothers hand and said “rest, you deserve it” – and to this day I hope she understood that I meant she deserved the rest and not the pain. She stopped breathing as I spoke those words.
To go back to mundaneness.
As a poem, I have to remark that the second to last stanza is very clumsy, how about making it three sentences?
“But the gates…now.”
“Everyone….you”.
“They welcome you home with open arms.”

What a beautiful sentiment for both you and your mother. It is the hardest thing of all to let someone that you love go; we are very selfish beings.

This was a wonderful read. Moving on is very hard to do, but it is
something somdeday we all must do. This is so very true. When we lose someone that we love, we still have to go on wth our life. Thanks for sharing this.