Thanks! Though I did just realize that some of the formatting went wonky on me somewhere in there and I’m not sure why. Hm.
Sci Fi & Fantasy / Fool's Gambit - Chapter One
CHAPTER ONE: In which our story begins and we meet our lovely heroine
The festival was a riot of sensation. Around them swirled sounds from a dozen directions: the tinkling notes of a musician playing the harpsichord, laughter from a gaggle of teenaged girls, the shrieks of small children running about, cheers from the joust field, the cries of food purveyors vending their wares, the periodic clang of the bell on the strong man game, and hundreds of little dramas being played out in a thousand different ways. There was a certain scent that was unique to the festival as well. Dirt, woodchips, burning incense, leaves underfoot, the delicious aroma of roasting cinnamon nuts wafting on the air, and the smell of thousands of people all mingling together made for a unique, but hardly unpleasant, odorific experience. And everywhere one looked, there was something to see. The king and his court making their progress through the shire in their glittering, fantastic finery. The faeries blowing bubbles of soap and water but making it look like magic to the eyes of the children who watched them. The pirates just getting up from a table at the local pub, all swaying swagger in their garb adorned with trinkets and sashes and baubles made to make them appear as if they’d sailed the world ‘round a dozen times. The people who you could just tell it was their first time encountering the festival by the way they gazed around in open-mouthed wonder. And, lest we forget, the fabulous, fantastical hand crafted works of art to be found in a hundred different shops dotting the landscape.
Diana Reid would have gladly lost herself in the cheerful bedlam of it all -and had, on many occasion- if it weren’t for the insistent tugging at her arm of her closest friend. “Sarah, you really don’t have to drag me. Besides, we’re plenty early.”
Sarah flashed her a smile, “yeah, but the last time that I tried to get you to go to a show with me and didn’t drag you, you got us all distracted looking at the jewelry at the silversmith’s and we completely missed it! I want you to actually see stuff here, you know?”
That prompted a laugh from Diana, “I see tons of stuff here! I’m always seeing stuff!” But she still allowed herself to be dragged along. Perhaps she did let herself have a bad habit of doing far more people-watching than show-watching but wasn’t that one of the beauties of Faire? Something for everyone! Sarah didn’t bother to respond to that -it didn’t really need a response- and besides, they were already settling into their seats for the next show. Supposedly, it was some sort of interactive storytelling thing where the performers would pull people up on stage from the audience to play different parts in the story. Diana had no worries that she would be one of those pulled up, even if they were sitting near the front, for she and Sarah both were in garb: long skirts, bodices, and blouses that made them look more or less like women from the Renaissance period. Generally, the performers seemed to prefer pulling up ‘mundanes’ or people who weren’t dressed in garb to do the bits on the stage. Diana liked to think of the garb as strategic camouflage in these situations.
As soon as the last show had finished clearing their props from the stage, a new performer appeared upon it. His was apparently a new act for this weekend, Diana couldn’t recall seeing him there before. Of course, then again, she had already been accused once that day of not actually watching the performances given at the festival enough so it was entirely possible that he’d been around and she had simply missed him. Though how she could have missed someone who looked as he did, she would be at a loss to explain. His clothes were brightly colored, standing out even among some of the rather loud costumes one might see at faire. His shoes were leather and the toes came to a curled up point from which bells hang, jingling with his every movement. His tights were patterned with diamonds in contrasting colors, his breeches of another color all together. Atop this he wore a shirt whose coloring matched his trousers while his doublet mimicked his tights. There was lace at the cuffs of his shirt and his head went uncovered. His hair, though, was long and was that shade of blonde so pale it seemed almost white and it glowed, halo-like, around him in the bright, midday sun. “He positively fluoresces,” Diana muttered to her friend.
Sarah shrugged, “everybody’s got their schtick, right?”
And Diana had nothing to answer that with. It didn’t matter though, as the man began his show opening patter. “Welcome, welcome one and all to Myth and Magic! I am, I hope quite obviously, your host for the next half an hour, Master Trimble! What does my name mean, you ask? Absolutely nothing! Now, as you may or may not all know, this is an audience participation show and as such…well, I shall need volunteers from the audience, won’t I?” About the time Trimble claimed it was an audience participation show, hands started going up, some waving wildly, mostly from children, a few from teenagers pointing emphatically at their parents. Trimble laughed, “you’re volunteering and you don’t even know what for yet! For all you know, young man,” he directed this to a small boy bouncing excitedly in the front row, “you may be volunteering yourself for something cruel and unusual!” The little boy’s eyes grew wide and his hand quickly dropped to his side. “Thankfully,” Trimble continued, “there is nothing cruel in my show though I perhaps cannot say the same for things that are unusual so feel free to volunteer away!” And, at that, he took a few moments walking through the aisles, choosing members of the audience seemingly at random until he finally stood in front of Diana. “You’ll do, I should think.”
Diana stared up at him, a little dumbfoundedly, and not least because the color of clothing was even more striking at close range. ”....do?” she echoed weakly. Only then did she realize that while she’d been watching Trimble traipse through the audience, Sarah had been pointing at her behind her back. Sarah’s smile was positively wickedly mischievous and, once she realized what was going on, Diana’s answering smile to her friend promised all sorts of revenge. Later. Right now, she found herself being pulled up onto the stage by a beaming Master Trimble who, once all of his volunteers were assembled on the stage, began to proclaim. “Ladies and gentlemen, right here and right now, you shall have the privilege of witnessing something never before seen on this stage and perhaps never seen again!” Which was true, with audience interaction, every show was just a little different. Dutifully, the audience applauded. Trimble continued, as he handed out props to each “actor”, “here we shall see performed the story of how Thor lost his fabled hammer one day and the lengths to which he would go in order to retrieve it.” For “Thor” -a rather tall, heavy man, which Diana figured was probably fitting from what she remembered of the myths– there was a plastic Viking hat with horns on either side. For “Odin” –the little boy from the front row– there was a fake Santa Claus beard. For “Freya” -a nice-looking lady whose teenager had volunteered her– there was a conical princess hat with a veil trailing from the point. For the evil giant king, Thrym, -a teenaged boy wearing a “Robin Hood” style hat Diana imagined he’d gotten just that day– there was a plastic crown to go on crookedly over his hat. And then there was Diana, who Trimble proclaimed would play Loki as he plopped a fire-engine red wig on her head.
The startled exclamation was past her lips before Diana could hold it in, earning her a few chuckles from the audience, “But Loki’s a guy!”
Trimble flashed her a cheeky a grin and winked at her and for a moment, she could have sworn his eyes were too green to be real, “trust me, my dear, all shall be understood in time.” In response, Diana merely smiled weakly and nodded. At that, Trimble turned back to the audience and spread his hands expansively, “our story begins with Thor, the champion of the gods –flex those manly muscles, Thor. It’s Thor’s job to protect the other gods from the evil giants out there in the world and he can’t do that without his trusty warhammer, which, as we all can see, he doesn’t have. It must have been stolen!” Without prompting, the gentleman playing Thor looked quizzically down at his empty hands before turning around in a circle as if looking for the missing hammer. “Indeed, the evil giant king, Thrym, had stolen it and even now was cackling maniacally,” Trimble nudged the teenager who obediently cackled a little. “Oh come on, you can do better than that, you’re EVIL!” Once more, the teenager cackled, really letting loose and getting into it, and quite a few of the audience laughed along with him.
“Thrym sent a message to Odin, the king of the gods that,” here, he whispered the line to the teenager playing Thrym.
The teenager then shouted out, as he was told, “I have the hammer of Thor! If you want it returned, I want Freya, the most beautiful goddess in the whole world to be my wife!”
Trimble added, “a gasp of shock went up from all the gods,” and, on cue, Diana and the others all gasped theatrically, members of the audience joining in. “Odin shouted,” more whispering before the little boy stepped up.
“HOW DARE HE!” Of course, coming out of the lungs of a small child, the shout was still a little more resembling a shriek.
“Freya,” Trimble said, looking over at the nice lady, “swooned into the arms of Thor,” after a moment’s hesitation, the lady performed an exceedingly melodramatic swoon, “and claimed she would never marry such an evil creature as Thrym.”
The lady cried out, as Freya, “I’ll never marry anyone so evil as Thrym!”
“The gods, of course, were in a quandary,” explained Trimble, “that is, until Loki stepped up with an idea!”
He was looking at her. Why was he-. Oh, right, she was Loki. Having an idea. An idea? Oh! Her cue! Diana jumped up, hands on her hips, beaming as she declared, “I’ve got an idea!”
Trimble nodded approvingly, “Loki’s idea was that all they needed to do was dress Thor up in a wedding gown with a veil and claim she was Freya, then Thor could go and get his hammer back. This actually seemed like a good idea –goodness only knows why– to all the gods assembled. Probably Freya was just glad she wouldn’t have to go. Except that Thor grabbed Loki by his collar,” Trimble gestured for “Thor” to do just that, which he did, but not terribly tightly for which Diana was rather grateful. “Thor grabbed Loki by the collar and said if he had to go, then Loki had to be his handmaiden.”
The man playing Thor bellowed out, “since this is your idea, you can come too and be my handmaiden!”
“That way,” added Trimble, “Thor didn’t have to be the only one humiliated.” Trimble then took a moment to pull two more props out of his prop box on the stage, then jogged over to where the man playing Thor and Diana were standing, the bells on his shoes jingly merrily all the while. He plopped a silken scarf around Diana’s shoulders to signify that she was now dressed like a “handmaiden” and then placed a bride’s veil carefully on over “Thor’s” viking helmet. “Thor and Loki, thus disguised, both went down to the castle of Thrym and declared they had come to give Freya to him as his bride in exchange for Thor’s hammer. Gleefully, king Thrym let them in – be gleeful, dude.” Unsure of what to do, the teenager portraying Thrym cackled evilly once more and shrugged. It worked. “But before the wedding could be had, first a great feast was put together. Thrym sat at the head of the table,” Trimble quickly positioned the teenager standing where he’d be if he were at the head of a table and had him mime eating, “and Thor and Loki were put on the other end,” and here, he had Diana and the other man move into position and also mime eating. “During the meal, Thrym gloated about how he had stolen Thor’s hammer and now would have the beautiful goddess, Freya, as his wife. This caused Thor to grow very angry, so angry in fact, that his eyes glowed red behind his veil! Thrym noticed this and asked his lovely bride to be what was wrong.”
Suitably, the teenager asked, point blank, “what the heck is wrong with your eyes, woman?” This did, of course, garner him another laugh from the crowd.
“But before Thor could say anything, Loki jumped in claiming-”
“It is only that her eyes are so very red from loss of sleep, my lord. She has not slept at all ever since she heard she was to marry you, so happily anxious was she,” Diana interrupted, clearly. She remembered this part from the story, it had always amused her.
Trimble smiled approvingly and nodded, “somewhat mollified by this, Thrym continued with the meal, not suspecting a thing. Until, of course, he noticed that his delicate flower of a bride was eating enough to feed an entire army! So, once more, he asked…”
“You sure do eat a lot!” exclaimed the teenager playing Thrym. It wasn’t a question, but no one was going to quibble.
“And once again, Loki jumped in with a quick response,” said Trimble, watching Diana to see if she needed the prompt.
She didn’t, “it’s only that she hasn’t been able to eat ever since she heard she was to marry you, my lord, and is now making up for lost time, so happy she is to be in your presence.”
“Once again,” said Trimble, “King Thrym was mollified and his suspicions laid to rest. Finally, the meal came to an end and here,” Trimble rushed back over to his prop box before pulling out a huge foam hammer that he thrust into the hands of the somewhat startled teenager, “he came closer to ‘Freya’ and declared that the wedding could begin now –raise the hammer and declare it, Thrym.”
Obediently, the teenager, now holding the foam hammer, raised it above his head with both arms and shouted, “LET’S GET MARRIED!”
“Unfortunately for Thrym, Thor had had enough and, now that his hammer was close enough, he tore off the veil,” Trimble waited for the man playing Thor to tear off his veil and toss it aside, though it carried his Viking helmet along with it, “and grabbed the hammer out of Thrym’s hands,” the man playing Thor snatched the hammer away from the kid playing Thrym, “and proceeded to hit Thrym over the head with the hammer, killing him instantly.” The man bopped the kid lightly on the head with the hammer and the kid fell slowly over into an overly terribly dramatic death scene that ended only after Trimble reiterated, “killing him instantly.” The audience applauded for a few moments before the story continued.
“Victorious, Thor and Loki return home to the other gods and another feast is declared by Odin –hey kid, declare a feast.”
The little kid playing Odin had been, up until now, fidgeting with his beard, so it took Trimble a second prompting before the boy shouted, “WE WON, LET’S EAT!”
Trimble grinned and turned to the lady playing Freya, “Freya was so glad not to have to marry Thrym, she kissed both-” Trimble paused at the look on the lady’s face and quickly backpedaled, “hugged both Thor and Loki, to thank them for their efforts on her behalf!” He waited until the lady had quickly hugged both the man playing Thor and Diana before continuing, “and there you have it, folks! The day was saved, thanks to some quick thinking on the part of Loki and some amazing strength on the part of Thor! And, of course, to the amazing acting abilities of our wonderful audience volunteers! Everyone, let’s give them a hand!” And, right on their cue, the audience erupted into applause and cheers.
Trimble gestured for all of them to take a bow and accept their applause before collecting his props from them and beaming at the audience, “lords and ladies, if you enjoyed this show, come back here at the hour of five and thirty to see my next audience participatory tale: St. George and the Dragon, it’s a great one to bring the kiddies to, believe you me. And next up on this stage, the fabulous musical stylings of…Smoke and Mirrors!”
Gratefully and perhaps blushing just a little from the experience, Diana hopped off the stage and flashed her best friend a mock glare. “That was evil. Really, really evil.”
Sarah laughed, “you had fun, admit it.”
Diana stuck her tongue out, “maybe after a mead or two.” Or three. Or four.
“Then I know just where we should go next,” declared Sarah.
“Oh god. The pub?” It was likely to be a madhouse at this hour. Then again, it was always a madhouse. And usually fun, to boot.
Sarah nodded in the affirmative, “the pub.”
Diana wailed in mock despair, “oh no, I’m doomed.”
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Zakari39 reviewed Version 2 -
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This was amusing: I liked the spontaneous storytelling idea – it mimics the madness and creative maelstrom of NaNoWriMo perfectly.
You’re right: in a bid to get the words on the page, some of the grammar is a bit awry, and it does make the story go slower than it should, but the invention and the light-heartedness of the piece still come across well.
I did like the characters in the story – the ones playing Norse Gods were game, but a bit hapless at times: and the descriptions of it were good.
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Reilly616 reviewed Version 2 -
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” I suppose this fits sf&f. It’s set in the modern day but strongly mythologically based.”
From reading just this I can tell you it does fit. So don’t wory about that. It is a great start so keep it up, Maybe I’ll try NaNoWriMo next year, but I’m focusing on my first novel now and am looking to get it published.
In general I think this is a great start and well paced. Keep up the good work!
Slán leatsa!!!
Dragonfyre96 reviewed Version 2 -
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This is a very good introductory piece. It begins the story in a very informative way. It introduces Sarah and Diana and lets you get to know the playful sides of their personalities. It shows the cultural festivities of their homeland. It introduces the way of life that the characters enjoy. It also shows the normal life activities of the everyday people in this story. It makes the reader feel at home when reading this story. I like the way you describe the festival and its activities. The jousting field, the games of strength, the shrieking of the small children, the different vendors and their wares. All in all, this is an excellent beginning to a story that shows the promise of becoming much more as you develop it.
Keep up the good work and keep writing. I look forward to more of this story in the future.
Re reviewed Version 1 -
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I think this is a charming little story that is fun and easy to read. I love the description of the festival itself, the sights and scents really draw the reader in. The myth and magic show was completely believable including all of the minor character reactions. A good start for a novel and it makes me wonder what’s next.
hellbunny reviewed Version 1 -
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I’m not really sure where you are going with this piece. There was nothing about it that wanted me to want to read more even hinted at what the plot might be about. Imagery is a very fine tool, but I thought it was overdone, and your characters did not really seem to be in the scene whenever you described the surroundings. Make the descriptions part of the action, and it will suddenly be more interesting.
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