You honor my work
With old forms that never die
So long as sons shine
Haiku/Senryu / My Philodendron
It thrives on neglect
No water, no light, no love
Reminds me of me
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freckleface reviewed Version 1 -
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This reminds me of an oooold philosophy – the characteristics/traits that we like most in our friends/family are in essence the same ones we like most about ourselves; in like, the the characteristics/traits that we hate most in our friends/family are in essence the same ones we hate most about ourselves.
Poor little flower…
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haikudo reviewed Version 1 -
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How very Basho
Just you and the hardy weed
Keeping your focus
Sean_Allen reviewed Version 1 -
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I feel like in any type of waka efficiency is very important. Since you have such strict syllable rules per line, it makes sense to want to maximize meaning while optimizing length. The only flaw I can find in his senryu is the ‘It’ in the first line. You didn’t refer to ‘it’ in the last line, though grammatically it makes sense to include the subject in that line. I understand that as it stands right now, the top line makes perfect sense. However, in future waka, the only advice I can give toward improvement is to try to limit unnecessary words like ‘it’ and to maximizing meaningful words.
Great Work.
JoeDimeck reviewed Version 1 -
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Interesting, but sorry to sound foolish, what is a philodendron?? I could Google it, but ehh.
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