Humor/Satire / The Giant Urbis Ego Trip

“Who are you who are so wise in the ways of science?”

I personally love the system, as you are almost guaranteed to get decent reviews as ong as you create something that speaks to the general reviewer. For instance… the piece you just reviewed! lol I was just venting a little at some of the egos I saw floating around here, and thought I should send a little dart their way. I’m happy you were compelled to speak on the subject, and even happier that your points were concise and insightful…

Sorry for the confusion. The target of this piece was for people who just review hastily and because it’s the only way to get their pieces praised. That’s why they review, then hit refresh to see if they FINALLY have enough to get their own work in the queue and be patted on the back for it. The flesh, pink thing has been mentioned before, though in a more sensual way than you described (:o) big surprise! I’ve heard enough complaints about the punctuation to have it sway my decision on my next piece, but seeing as how I shut down shop on this one, there’s really no point in going back to edit it. As far as the acrostic nature of the piece, I will confess that “Rat” showed up as it was the first stanza I completed, and when I noticed it, I decided to make use of the acrostic theme. Thanks for such an in-depth, and helpful review, as sometimes many credits are spent with very little being said. You said a great deal, and I appreciate the time you took to try to understand the poem, as opposed to skipping it or jotting down a half-hearted “good job”.

Thanks again!

Confusion: no big. I agree w/your complaint, though, it seems a plague of late. I cannot figure out why. I suppose I’m part of the old school crowd here (comical) that still reviews for the sake of literature.

Punctuation. I’m punctuation’s #1 fan. In all writing, not just poetry or prose or reviews :) That’s not aimed toward you, but a general admission of punctuation-loving guilt. It’s a source of debate though, see the forums of silliness for more opinions on that.

Anyway, thanks for your praise. It’s the only reason I reviewed you anyway.  :)

Actually, there’s a “Reply to The Giant Urbis Ego Trip” floating around that ThomasAlan posted, a funny guy who I consider a good friend on Urbis. I think you’d enjoy it, and we’re getting ready to start some pretty intense rounds of comical debate in the next day or two regarding it. If i can find the link to it, I’ll PM it to you.

Congrats on being punctuation’s #1 fan, by the way. It’s a very commendable title that I’m sure took years of diligent comma placement theory.

found it.
http://www.urbis.com/media/view/91246/reply-to-the-giant-urbis-ego-trip

I ♥ punctuation. It says so on my shirt. I also have a magnetic car ribbon and tiara which say the same. It’s a lucrative position. I will go and look-see said reply.

Nice heart! I’m deliberately watching my punctuation now, so feel free to criticize whenever you feel it’s necessary. :)

Ironic, in that you completely missed my point by only giving a halfway glance to the poem. It is a critique on those who feel that way and their lack of regard for the reviewing process, using it as only a means to an end; getting praise for their own work. You should consider a mirror to check if you are indeed the “hot rat” (read down the left hand dside of the poem, it’s acrostic as was stated in the notes to the reader) you so vehemently despise. It would appear as though you were way too caught up in your own life to give a shit about what I had to say… so thank you. Not for the review, but for the evidence I can point to when people ask me why I felt that writing this poem was necessary. Response?

You’re a douche.

And you’re the epitome of what I loathe on this site. Fitting, perhaps. At least I didn’t receive a refund on your credits for your lengthy rant about nothing. Consider yourself lucky.

Big words from someone who’s default photo looks like a 29 year old Alfalfa serving time in a minimum security prison. Get laid much…?

??? I didn’t know you considered “epitome” to be a big word. I’ll try to dumb it down for you from now on. You stupid and don’t read good, so I get mad. Get it?

In case you didn’t catch the literal meaning of my last response I meant big in that you think you’re hot shit.

:) i know what you meant. i’m not surprised you couldn’t catch the sarcasm, as you don’t seem to be able to give anything more than a half glance. it is the reason you couldn’t grasp the message of my poem, and the reason you think a closet hinge is a piece of hair sticking up. it is my own fault for inciting you, but i guess i assumed you would be capable of an intelligent discussion and not childish insults. as i am quite sure you’ll never understand why you are so far from being in the right, i respectfully decline to engage in any more of this exercise in futility.

Actually on a real note, you havent havent thowing stones back in forth with me, my roomate thought it’d be funny to message you back. Im sorry I ddint get the true meaning of your poem. Ive always believed that poetry is alot like art, in that it isnt about what the content is, but the feelings it evokes in the person that is looking at it. eading your poem made me think of what I wrote. I must admit though Im not the best candidate for writing reviews, in that I dont really look at other peoples work with a critical eye. I hate grammer, and although in the real world you have to use to it. In my writing I just look at is a filter, that clogs my creative insight. With all said I humbly bow out, and apologise for this charade of two highschool girls fighting over whose shoes are better for walkin around town in.

I hate you with every fiber of my being. Thanks for the review, you scourge of the proverbial sea!

Vomit on the port side of your hirsuteness!  Remember: hygiene has a direct influence on inspiration….and if you don’t believe me, read a biography of Martin Luther.

Just when I couldn’t possibly fathom more displeasure for your existence, you draw upon unknown resources to drive me to the farthest reaches of contempt!

....which for you, thankfully enough, is a distance probably measureable in centimeters.  Why don’t you calm down and check your blood pressure before you do something nasty to your circulatory system? (My stats: 118/73…..cool as a cuke and ready for the next round!  Ding.)

That ding came from the microwave, not your blood pressure meter, which can only mean your goose is cooked. Time for a new avatar…

“Honk a l’orange”?  Think again.  I remain serenely afloat on my pond, far enough from the shore that a vomit-encrusted poet (notice I am paying you a compliment: I could have called you many other things just as truthful) cannot hurl (literally) any of his silly little slings and arrows.  

Anyway, if you’d parsed the sentences above more closely, you would have noticed that the closest referent to “Ding” is not “blood pressure,” but “round,” as in pugilism; (I shall now allow ample time for you to look that word up.)

Yes, boxing!  I count this to be round 7 or 8, and the refs have me ahead on points 30-2;  catch up time, my little punching bag!

I am pleased to note that you have received more positive feedback since that one right after mine which irked you as it keeled off on to its own tangent.  And it’s also refreshing to see some people being adult enough to own up to their greedy ways.  See, you have been vindicated!

Have you finished your “Reply to the Reply”?  If we play our cards right, we could have enough by spring to turn it into a mini-series.

See you anon in cyberspace; I’ll be online after eleven.  

Thomas. You sick bastard. I didn’t really get much of a chance to read your manifesto, as I fell asleep during the boring historical introduction. You’ll have your answer to your white glove slap soon enough, though I’m still not sure if I will resist or cower. In the meantime…

Resistance is always more interesting.  Of course, it surprises me not that you dozed during my precis of the Reply’s history: you have done so before during my sparkling dialog, and no doubt will again.  Although a definite part of your charm, I fear it also is in some way connected to your IQ (or your blood sugar), so eat some fruit and do some reading while you plan your next fruitless attack.

Great. A fifty six year old man thinks I’m charming. Dad said this would happen if I started writing poetry…

Your paterfamilias may know many things, and, he may not as well.  Just remember, charm (and its appreciation) come in many forms; do not pre-judge what you do not know for sure.

One thing your pater IS right about though: things will happen to you if write poetry because you yourself will change because of it; and when you change, your circumstances and life will as well.  Comes with the territory, pardnuh.  So split your infinitives, and let’s start moving out this herd of iambs before the sun gets too high in the sky.

Yes, I don’t spend a considerable amount of time pouring out animosity towards those who have no regard for other’s work, but it was nice to get it off my chest, yet I am proud of the multiple rhyming structure, the syllable mirroring, and the acrostic nature of this piece.

I hated you until “narcissa virus”, and now I love you. Funny and insightful, I am glad you stumbled upon this poem, even if you feel my vents are full of hot air…