Poetry / Metal Killer

This is a very sad poem. It has great clarity for the most part, it started out a little hard to read however. Great job.

This is a good poem, but I think when you spell out his name you somewhat lose what was serious about it and it looks like someone’s Facebook name generator that says nice things about them. “We will always remember you Until we’re just a soul” I loved that line, it was probably the best lines in the whole thing. Until we’re just a soul.

Wow, intense work here, you certainly kept me reading and I felt the emotion coming through your words. Loved this bit:

D is for delightful
A is for admired
N is for nutty
I is for impressive
E is for excellent
L is for loved

Great technique there :-)

This is a god poem, although I think it looses flow when you go into the DANIEL part. I think of that as another poem, and a little elementary. My favorite line by far was.Instead of showing us you told us, so you can have done with a little bit more imagery. Sorry for your loss. I enjoyed the poem.

Favorite Lines of the Poem
“We will always remember you
Until we’re just a soul”

I believe if this were music it would have been called a lament, but my memory for those things is sometimes awry.
The words are straightforward, the pain obvious. What it lacks in a poetic genre it overcomes with love and hurt.

It is a good work. I wish you hadn’t had to write it.

I really liked that you personalized this…it was never about anyone but him. i’m sure he deserved nothing less than your tribute to him. I also appreciated that you didn’t take soemthing you didnt understand and just resist against it… very accepting poem. good job!